Gingerly opening the door I look back, "you ready?" I ask, watching peeta move slowly towards me, still carrying the slight limp that he gained just a fue years ago.
"Don't worry, I'm not going to drop out that easy" he says, exhaling a small laugh, "it's not every day you get to meet your godson".
I've never been the maternal type, not wanting to bring a poor helpless child into this evil twisted world, but somewhere between the new found safety and the birth of Nikki, Annie and Finnicks beautiful baby boy I was starting to grow some mothering instincts.
Peeta takes my hand as we walk towards haymitchs house, it still feels unreal to be able to walk into his spotless room, no bottles, no gut wrenching smell of white liquor and no knife wielding drunk, haymitch has now been sober for 6 months and seems to be coping just perfectly in his new life with Hazelle, it even looks like he's stepping into the farther figure role, kneeling down to say goodbye to Posy and giving her a small hug before the 3 of us carry on the short walk to the train station.
Still holding Peeta's hand I step slowly into the carriage, flash backs of the reaping hit me until I look around and see the basic lay out of the train, 20 small seats and not a hint of mahogany, this is quite calming.
"How long will it take to reach 4" I say to Haymitch, he is a lot more familiar with travel them I am seeing as I've not left district 12 since the day I got back.
"About 3 hours" he says grinning, "they just built a new track".
Glancing over to Peeta I notice he's pulled out a piece of wrinkled paper, "what should I draw next sweetie" he chimes, without even looking up, since we started the book there has been many a day I would watch his concentration bound face as he drew beautiful pictures of our life so far, elegant flowers with the most exceptional colours, the woods in which we explore in the daylight and also the darkness of the cave that I found his love that short time ago. "Draw Nikki, for Annie" I say softly, knowing he has already traced his small cherub-like face so many times in his mind, wishing he could have his own child.
"I don't think I have the right green, this just won't do him justice" he laughs, half holding up a bright green pencil.
There's no doubting the genetics of Nikki, beautiful waves of red hair from his mother and the ever enchanting sea green of his fathers eyes, staring at me from the photos I carry in my bag.
After Finnicks tragic death it was arranged that Annie would go back to district 4, where she could get the care she needed for both her and the baby.
Since Nikki's birth Annie has sent regular letters containing photos of him and up to now I carry 4 with me, each showing the change and the ever growing resemblance to his father. now while I sit on the train, getting ready to meet him for the first time I start to feel a deep feeling of sadness. "Why did he have to die Peeta" I whisper, tears start to fall on to my cheeks, "why couldn't I save him".
Finnicks death still haunts me every night, the scream he let out just before the muttations took his future away from him rings in my ears now, did he even know about Nikki?.
Peeta holds me in his arms until my eyes have run dry. "katniss it wasn't your fault, everything happens for a reason, he's looking after Prim now." he tries to smile, tears glinting as his cheeks rise, the warm sheet of grief floods over me. "I'm sure dad will be there for both of them, and sweet little Rue" my voice cracks on the last word and I'm back to square one.