29. Chapter 29
Gah, I'm so stupid. Why did I try to kiss Alex? She has a boyfriend, and she would never go for someone like me.... I sighed and slammed my head against the kitchen table.
"Whats wrong with you?" Tom asked, coming into the room.
"Nothing." I said and lifted my head, just to lay it in my hands.
"Ok then. Dont worry, I'll get it out of you eventually." He sat down across from me.
We had bought a house here in America. All of our band lived together here. We did it so the rest of the band could learn better english and we mostly stayed there when we had tours close together and interviews. We were going home to Germany less and less, nowadays.
The only reason the situation with Alex was hurting as much as it was, was because everyone knew I didnt date much. I was waiting for someone I really cared about. I believed in love at first sight. Alex was kind of like that for me. When I first met her, I instantly felt it and thought maybe she would start to feel the same way...but then, I found that she was dating Andy. A badboy who was a singer in a rock and roll band. In a competition, any girl would choose Andy over me. I had no chance.
I groaned out loud.
Georg walked in a that moment.
"Whats wrong with Bill?" He asked Tom. Tom looked at me, then shrugged.
"Dont you have like twin telepathy or something?" Georg asked. Tom laughed. I slammed my head on the table and kept banging it, again and again.
"So...you gonna tell us or continue to give yourself a concussion?" Tom said.
"I'm good with this." I replied.
I was jealous. I would admit that. I didnt like how jealous I would get when Alex mentioned Bill. When she came back soaking wet from the mall; I noticed she seemed a little...off. Like something was bothering her. I didnt want to even think it but...was it guilt? I didnt want to pester her because it might've just been jealousy talking, but I just had this nagging feeling. It was killing me.
It was only about 3 o'clock when I got out of the shower. I slipped on skinny jeans and a white t-shirt. I was conlicted. Bill had tried to kiss me.... Should I feel guilty? Angry? Should I tell Andy? No, I dont think so. Some things are just better kept secrets from people. I groaned and fell backwards on the bed. Maybe I should avoid Bill. Or just pretend it never happened. . . . Ugh, why did I have to have so much drama in my life?
Should I call her? Maybe text would be better. Should I even talk to her at all? Is she mad at me? Freaked out? I sighed out loud.
Life is too difficult.