22. Chapter 22
Andy walked me into the house. I hadn't stopped crying. He held my hand and walked me into the bedroom. We laid down in bed together. He wrapped his arms around me and I silently cried. A couple times the phone rang. And Andy would walk into the other room to explain what happened, but I heard him. After those couple phone calls; many more people started calling, me and Andy both. They asked how I was feeling; if I was okay; what the doctor said. My answers were lifeless and useless; so they mostly talked to Andy.
I just laid in bed all day. I would slip in and out of sleep. But I had nightmares. Andy laid there with me, trying to help. He tried to get me to eat, but I wouldn't.
Around 3pm, someone knocked on the door. Andy walked out of the room and answered it. I immediately knew who it was before anyone could tell me. Jinxx, Ashley, Jake, CC, and Andy all walked into the room. CC immediately walked up and hugged me. Jake and Jinxx looked sympathetic and told me how sorry they were. I didn't even bother to look at Ashley. He was probably so happy.
Everyone kept telling me how sorry they were. What was the point in sorries like that? They didn't do any good. My baby was still dead.
I glanced at Andy once. He looked sad. I just stared at the wall until everyone left.
Alex is broken. You can she it in her eyes. I did want that baby. So bad. But I knew the way she would take it would be different from the way I would take it. She just sat on the bed and stared at the wall.
"I think we'd better go now." Jinxx said, glancing at Alex.
They all started to file out. Ashley was the last. I noticed a small smirk on his face and then he was gone.
I sat down beside Alex. I wrapped my arm around her waist and pulled her close. "Alex... I'm so sorry you had to go through this. But I understand-"
"No, you don't! No one understands!" She ripped away from me and stood, glaring.
"I wanted that baby too." I said quietly.
"No you didn't. Just admit that. You're happy Serenia's gone. You and Ashley both. Now you don't have to deal with a charity case or a baby on the road. You happy now?" She yelled at me.
"Serenia...?" She had already named the baby.... "Sh**. Alex-"
"Just leave me alone!" She ran into the bathroom and I felt that same fear shoot through me just like it did every time she did something like this.
I sobbed against the bathroom door. My baby was dead because I was a horrible mother. Andy didn't care about me. Ashley hated me. My mother died because I was too late to save her....
I was worthless. I didn't deserve to live.
Andy was banging on the bathroom door, screaming....
"Alex! Open the da** door!" What was she doing in there? I could hear her crying.... I backed up and threw my leg up to kick open the door. Alex stood at the sink trying to get a bottle of sleeping pills open.
I slapped them out of her hand and grabbed her by her shoulders.
"What're you thinking?! Why do you want to die so bad? Aren't you even considering how I'll feel if you died?!" Even I was crying now.
"But you don't care about me...." Alex whispered.
"What?! Alex...I love you more than anything! If you died...I don't know what I would do...." I pulled her too me and hugged her tightly.
"Cant...breath" I gave a shaky laugh and let her go. She looked up at me and whispered, "I'm sorry", so quietly that I had to lean in to hear.
I put my hands on either side of her face and kissed her forehead. "I wanted that baby. I honestly did."
She smiled sadly and kissed my hand.
I woke up with Alex the next day. She breathed quietly beside me. Her head rested on my bare chest. My arm was around her shoulders. I smiled at her relaxed face. She was honestly the most beautiful girl I had ever seen. I laid there awake for hours just enjoying us there, together. Then she woke up, her brown eyes looked up at me and she smiled.
"Hi" She whispered softly and snuggled into my chest.
I raised her chin and softly kissed her. I started to slide from under her arms, but she grabbed my arm.
"Please. Lets just lay here. I don't want to have to live in the real world right now."
I smiled and leaned over her, kissing her. "Today can be an 'us' day. But I cant just stay naked all day now can I?"
"Well, you could..." She smiled, flirtaciously.
I smiled and said, "You know, you should put on some clothes, because you're killing me here."
With a 'hm', she stood and wrapped the blanket around her body like a tube top dress and walked into the living room. I slipped on some boxers and ran after her. "What if someone sees you?!"
"Then I guess they'll get a good show." She smirked and settled on the couch in my spot. She allowed her bare leg to fall out of the blanket, and crossed it over her other leg. I groaned. "You're killing me."
"I know" she said and smiled. She sat forward and let the blanket fall to where it only covered her chest and butt. I growled and stormed into the bedroom.
"Whats wrong with you?" Alex asked, innocently, walking in to my faceplant on the bed.
"You're too sexy!" I mumbled, barely intelligible because of the blanket.
"I didn't realize it was a problem."
"Well, it is today....This is a kiss only day."
"We'll see." She said and again walked into the living room, wearing only a blanket.