DMATBTPB Coauthor Competition Entry

For the DMATBTPB Coauthor Competition Entry

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1. The Very Rude Book

That's it, I told myself. I looked into the mirror, my posture strong with a slight slouching around the shoulders to appear slightly relaxed, so I seemed like a professional - someone who did exactly this everyday. My father told me it would only be a few years then that would be it - Haha!

I Draco Malfoy, could be a death eater! Out flew the wand from my pocket, I pointed it at my reflection. Oh yes, I looked scary... but extremely good looking too.

Clearly this was why the girls ran away from me whenever I spoke to them - they feared my natural, handsome looks! As I swung it around (making sure it definitely circled my head, tracing the halo that should rightly be there as my mother once said to me) I felt even more into character... evil... like my father! Perhaps even better may I say -

Of course I can! Don't you dare say I can't! Otherwise I'll put a spell on you... And anyway, you're a book, you can't talk!

What did you just say?

As Draco Malfoy, I have a right not to be overshadowed by a book... my father shall hear about this! Too bad he's not here right now. I'll put you in the bin instead!

*Pulls out a new parchment*

There we go! Hello new book - you have the privilege to be written in by Draco Malfoy himself, I shall be the first of many to say how lucky you are to be gifted with this opportunity - 

*Turns over to next page*

What is this?

Why has someone already wrote in you? Who was it? I bet it was Mister Potter himself... that filthy little half breed! I'll show him right! What shall the punishment be - haha! I'll remove all of his notes by ripping out the page... then he'll never see them again and I'll be free to write on about my death eater training. Stupid potter and his merlin's pants notes... oh yes I just said merlin's pants!

Sorry, I cannot hear you!

Don't want me to rip you? Blood-traitor! Now I want to rip you even more!

*Pulls out page*

Oh stop complaining... Now I wish I hadn't thrown the previous book away. But he did insult me. A complainer is better than an insulter with obviously no taste! Anyway, I've wasted far too much training time on this - back to the story!

I don't care if it hurts!

Hang on, how did potter write in you in the first place? Never mind, there are far more important things to do, like death eater training! Once again, I looked into the mirror spying the handsome figure standing in front of me. His shoulders were slightly slouched making him look so professional and expertly. Oh wait - it's me!

One second, my shoulders are slouched a little too much, perhaps they need bringing up a bit. That's so much better.

One second, my shoulders are up a little too much, perhaps they need bringing down a bit. That's much better.

No it's not. It's not working! Merlin's pants! (Haha - I said it again)!

I need an experts advice - not that I'm not one myself. I'm talking about someone who's been in the business for years, a true deatheater.

No I am most certainly NOT talking about HeWhoMustNotBeNamed! Of course he is amazing and all though...! Just that I don't wish to bother him at this busy time of year. Instead I wish to ask my father. Yes, that great one!

Repeat what you just said!

Perhaps you should start thinking about what you're going to say a bit more - perhaps?! Am I right???

Rude book...

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