Around 8 o'clock I was wide awake. Today was the first step to get her back. To get my babygirl back in my arms.
Eating breakfast was horrible, I kept feeling like I was gonna throw within twenty minutes but luckily that wasn't the case. I was just too nervous to do anything actually.
"Niall, are you ready?" I heard Emma's voice and looked around at her seeing her dressed up all fancy and mature while I was just standing there in my usual pair of jeans and a jacket.
"Really, not even a tie?" She asked laughing and I just shrugged "Don't judge okay, you know I am not into ties at all." I said to defend myself and she only laughed more and more.
"Come on, you need a tie, and decent shoes." She dragged me with her to my room and sat me down on the bed.
"The blue or the gray one?" She asked and held up two ties for me to choose of. "lets go for blue... gray seems so depressed." I said after a while and Emma nodded before throwing the other tie away.
"Good choice, now the shoes. You have your black ones from the premire a few weeks ago right? Or did Lou take them with her again?"
"They must be in my closet... I guess." I said and earned a new laugh from Emma.
"You stay here and try to relax a bit. I know it's a weird and dreadful day but if you don't relax you will mess everything up and only get more stressed." I sighed and laid down on my bed, groaning loudly in frustration.
"How can you be so calm Em?" I asked and hoped she could tell me her secret so I could use it too before I would freak out even more. But my bad, she did not have a secret to keep herself calm.
"I am not calm babe... I'm just as freaked out as you are.. The only thing is that I know how to keep it inside untill we get out of that courthouse.. After that I will be a mess I promise you." I only sighed more but liften myself up to smile at her.
"After this is over I will take you out for something to eat. Either to celebrate this or to eat away the pain." I said slightly laughing and she smiled happily before laying down next to me.
"That sounds like a plan to me, only not a McDonalds again please..." I laughed and promised her we wouldn't go to a McDonalds this time.
*Three hours later*
"Today's court is about the custoudy for Mr Niall Horan. His custoudy has been taken away after a seconds abduction of Lauren Emma, his, then, adopted daughter who is now living with George and Nicolle Reeds." Only hearing those names made me wanna throw up.
"After recieving a footage of Mrs Reeds acting not as motherly as she let us believe she is, we wonder if the Reeds family is the right place for Lauren to grow up. Today we will hear both sides of the story again. The story of Mr Horan and the thoughs of social service on the situation." I saw Nicolle probably hating herself on the other side of the room. John told me she wasn't allowed to talk the entire meeting.. Their own lawyer didn't allowed her.
"Mr Horan, if you could come forward please?" I nodded and stood up, holding the piece of paper I found under one of the pillows of the couch earlier that day.
"Ladies, gentlemen," I said politely, "You all know why I am here since I have been here before with the same request. I want my daughter back, I believe me and Emma are the only two people she has ever felt like she could be herself at. You might not believe me with this, I understand, but I do have things of Lauren's that make me believe she loved being with me, that she was a happy and carefree child, like she was supposed to be." I took a deep breath and unfolded the piece of paper slowly before showing it to the judges.
It was a drawing, with a letter (it took me almost an hour to figure out what she had written) that Lauren probably made while me, Emma and Harry were fooling the other lads.
"I am not really sure when she made this drawing but I do know it was in the short ammount of time me and her had when Harry found her back after her second abduction." I saw Emma with tears in here eyes at the drawing of me her and Lauren.
A big house, smiling sun and smiling clouds and little red coloured hearts everywhere. Above all there was writen in all kinds of colours the word 'family' with again a smiley on the i.
"I know my life is busy, and that I will probably never will be able to give her the life she would have with people like the family Reeds. But I can assure you I will make her happy. I will make her see all different things in life which will eventually make here a stronger person in the future.
Without me she would have never told anyone about what happened to her while she was still at the orphanage and Drake would still be able to do what he did to her to many more children." I saw a few nods from the judges and I knew I had hit a good string.
"Like I already said to mr and mrs Reeds, the first time I admit the abduction was my fault. I wasn't paying enough attention to her and I did not expect Drake to find her so quickly. But as you all know I did everything I could to get Lauren back and it worked. She got back and he is locked up because of this."
"But she also had to go through all of that again because of you." Nicolle said and I sighed softly and felt Emma squeezing my hand as an encouraging.
"Mrs Reeds please be quiet untill it's your turn to speak understood?" She nodded and Emma squeezed my hand softly like she wanted to say just calm down, everything will be okay and deep down I knew she was nothing but right.
"I will do everything I can to make sure Lauren grows up with a loving family who she can love and trust with all her heart. She already has had a troubled past, all I want is to make her future is all she could have ever dreamed of."
Court took quite some time. Emma and I walked out around 5 o'clock with still no real answer on who would get to take Lauren back home. However, I knew my changes had increased pretty much which made the way home not as dreadful as I thought it would be.
"So, when will we hear more about this?" Emma said after a while and sadly, all I could do was shrug. "I honestly have no clue actually. We could hear something in a few days but maybe it will take a couple of weeks. I wish I knew, I wish I knew." I said and kept driving back to Emma's place.
"We will get her back babe, I know it. I saw their faces they can't just say no after all the things you told them and have shown them." She said and rubbed my arm softly.
"Just have faith, have faith and everything else will work out."
It still surprised me that Emma always had such strong believe in everything that happened in life. Always seeing the bright side of life and ignoring the dark coulds that are ahead and behind of us.
"I am trying to but it's just so hard. Everything I want for her is just not mine to give at the moment and it makes me feel like a worthless father, which I probably just am."
"No Niall you're not!" she said sternly and I quickly look up at her. "You are fantastic, Lauren loves you to death, she has loved you since the very beginning." I kept quiet, talking only seemed to make things worse.
Finally Emma started to understand that I didn't feel like talking at all after everything we went trough that afternoon. She didn't stay anything untill we arrived at her place.
"Niall, you know I love you right?" She said after I stopped the car so she could get out. "Yeah, I know that Em, I know" I said, but honestly, I wasn't paying that much attention to her. I was stuck with my head in the clouds. What if they wouldn't give Lauren back to me? What if I forever had to live with the idea that I was the reason she would never have a good childhood?
"Niall please!" I snapped up and looked at her. "I know you feel desperate but this is really bad. You haven't heard a word of what I said, not a single one!" I sighed and had to admit she was completely right.
"Sorry baby, I'm just worried what will happen if we don't get her back." "Naill come on, don't think like this we wil get her back I promise you. Come on." She leaned over and hugged me tight. "I promise you everything will be okay as long as you keep having faith in it." As she said those words I started to break down.
"I can't keep having faith when I don't know if she will be my baby girl or not."
"Niall, if you don't have faith she will never come back, Lauren would have wanted you to keep having faith." Lauren would have wanted me to stay positive and strong.
"Okay babe, I'll try to be strong." I finally said to her and kissed her head. "I'm sorry for being so distracted after court."
"You don't have to be sorry, just don't do it again, for me." She asked me and I couldn't do anything but agree. I would never let Emma feel like I didn't care about her or her feelings.
I turned out to stay at Emma's for a couple hours. After last night's dinner things started to improve between Emma's parents and I. I finally had the feeling that they understood me and made an effort to get to know me.
Around 8, just after dinner, I said my goodbye's and left to go back home. The lads would be meeting up with me to talk about some stuff for the new tour and album and of course what happened this afternoon.
Back home the guys were already waiting for me.
"Naill! How did everything go? Why didn't you call us? Do you have her back, please tell us you can take her back home, we miss our little cousin." I had to let them down, just like I had let Lauren down before.
"Not yet, I actually don't know anything for sure right now. They will probably let me know in a couple days what will happen next. But Emma is hopefull, very hopefull." I told them and let them in.
"That sucks mate, hopefully everything will work out and we will have her back before her birthday." Harry said as they sat down and I gave them all a beer.
"I will beg them to give my custody back before her birthday, I already missed last year's so we have to celebrate it twice as hard this time."
The band talk went bye and before I knew it the guys already left again with the promise that I would let them know if I had more information about Lauren and the case.
The next morning, I already had a reason to call them all. A mail from my lawyer with details about the conclusion of yesterday.
"Dear mister N.J. Horan,
We would like to inform you about the conclusion of our judges and jury. They came to the conclusion you will have a social service worker following you in your daily life for the next couple weeks. They will eventually make the decision whether you do or do not get your custody back."
It was only a matter of time before I had convinced them that Lauren only belonged to me, that she would never be as happy somewhere else as she would be with me.