Emma and I left to find two dresses and I loved it to have some time with a girl again. In the past months there was only a fake daddy and mommy but she was working most of the time. And even now most of the time I'd only have daddy and my uncles. But maybe Lux was there too!
"Do you like this one?" Emma asked me and I nodded my head. "Yes mom- Emma... I really like it." I looked down and felt my face turning red in embarrasment.
"I'm sorry Emma. I didn't meant it but-" she interupted me with a tight hug and a soft kiss on my forehead which reminded me of the kisses daddy always gave me.
"It's okay sweetheart, you can call me your mom. That would be an honour, to be your mom." I stared at her and a smile grew on my face when she said that.
"I love you." I said softly and hugged back. "Awww, same here princess, but try this dress on and we will go back home." She gave me a pretty dress and I tried it on. When I looked at Emma she got tears in her eyes and hugged me tight. I felt tears falling on my shoulders and got worried.
"Is there something wrong Emma?" I asked softly and I looked at her. She wiped tears away and smiled at me a little, but I saw she was heartbroken inside.
"You look so much like someone I used to know in the past... Like you are totally the same." she cubbed my cheek and smiled at me.
"But you are better, so much better." I smiled at her and twirled around.
"Can I borrow this dress, for today Emma? Please? I'll be really careful with it, I promise." She laughed softly and helped me out of the dress.
"You can even have it if you really like it. I don't fit in it anymore and you look beautiful in it." She really thought I looked beautiful in that dress?
"Thank you Emma! You are the bestest in the entire world." she laughed and lifted me up.
"No you are the bestest, believe me." I giggle and kiss her cheek playfully.
Daddy really had the best girlfriend in the entire world, she was like a mom and a sister at once to me.
"Lets go and see how your dad looks in a princess dress."
I laughed and jumped up and down. "Yay! I bet he's a really pretty princess!"
"But never as pretty as you," Emma said "Because you are the pretties princess ever."
Harry and I managed to get the dresses to the car and arrive at my place unnoticed. Which was a good thing.
"The others will be here in half an hour," Harry informed me. "What do you want me to do?" he asked after dropping the dressbags on the sofa.
"Get the dvd-box... The one with - how ironic - the disney princesses on it. It's in the closet of her room." I told him and he jogged to her, still decorated, room.
I know, most people would get all her stuff out of the house, or atleast out of her room, but those people ain't me.
I couldn't stand walking in it at first, the memories of all the items gave me only new heartache.
But throwing it all away would be like throwing her away, the memories of her, the last things I had left of her, and it felt like throwing it away was the end of the life me and her shared, only for so short.
So, I put - with help from Emma and the boys - all her cloths, toys and other stuff in boxes. Just so, if I felt like opening in, I could go there and it would be like she was still here eventough she wasn't.
"This one right?" Harry snapped me out of my thoughts and I quickly nodded my head. "Yup, just place it under the couch or something, Emma and Lauren will come in a minute and the others in like fifteen minutes." I told him and he showed the box under the couch.
"Daddy!!" I smiled when I heard the voice I missed so much, she sounded so happy while calling me daddy.
"Look what I got from Emma!" she run to the living room and jumped in my arms.
"She said I can have this dress. Like forever!" she giggles and I kissed her cheek.
"Wonderfull princess; you look so pretty in it, even more beautiful than the real princess." She giggles loudly and I smiled at her.
"Where are your princess dresses daddy and uncle Harry? I wanna see you as princesses!" I laughed and Harry kissed her cheek.
"We will do a little joke for uncle Louis, Liam and Zayn and then, we will all wear our dresses." Harry said and Lauren's eyes began to sparkle when she heard that.
"But what joke uncle Harry? And why? Won't they get mad if I joke with them?" she asked nervously but both me and Harry shook our heads.
"Not when they see you again princess. Then they will be really happy." Harry reinsured her with a smile on his face like he coukd already see the faces of the other three when they heard the big news.
"We will just do what we did today with daddy and auntie Gemma ok?" She nodded happily. "So you just stay in the kitchen or the bathroom till Harry signs you to come to the livingroom. Do you understand that?" she nodded her head in agrement and I smiled at her.
"Great! And after that we will watch the movies you want to watch." Harry clapped his hands and smiled down at Lauren. "but till that moment, you gotta be realy quiet." Lauren pretended to zip her lips and threw the imaginary key away, which made me laugh loudly.
"are you gonna be quiet?" Harry asked her "Yes uncle Harry!" she said but then quickly covered her mouth again when she realized she just spoke again.
"Ok baby," I say and lift her up by her legs "you can go and hide under the stairs or in the cubboard of the kitchen, whatever feels better do you." I whispered in her ear and she giggled as answer.
"You can have my phone to play a little game on but the sound is off and you can only start playing when uncle Zayn and Liam and Louis are in the livingroom with me, Emma and uncle Harry." she nodded again and I felt her giving me a quick kiss on my cheek.
"Yes daddy! But, how long do I have to stay there?" "about five minutes, Harry and I will fool them and then you just come in. Emma will get you right Em?" Emma smiled and walked to me and Lauren, wraping her arm around me and Lauren.
"sure I will, you just stay there will I get you, and Harry will give me the clue to do that." I laughed when I realized what we were about to do. We were about to fool three of my best mates, and why?
"Niall!" I jumped up when I heard Louis' voice from the other side of the door. "Please let us in." Liam's voice joined him.
"Go, quick. And whatever you may hear, I love you, I always have and I always will." I kissed Lauren's forehead and put her down quickly.
"Niall please open the door, what is the matter?" zayn's voice was the last I heard before I saw Emma taking Lauren away and Harry opening the door. I kept looking at the spot Lauren just stood.
What if she heard me saying things and thought I didn't loved her? What if someone took her again, just like before?
"Niall, niall!" Louis snapped his fingers infront of my face and I jumped up.
"What?" I asked, still not paying attention to him, or anyone else there. Why did we had the idea for this again? why couldn't I just hold her tightly to me for the rest of her life?
"What is wrong? Why do you want to talk about... well, about wheter to keep or don't keep searching for her?" Liam asked and held me by my shoulder.
"Because," I started and finally had the strength to look at them. "because I don't know if I will ever find her back. Louis was right, I- I can't remember some things of her and if I can't, than how will she remember me?"
It was so hard to lie to them, knowing that Louis would totally blame himself for this and that Lauren was just a door away and possably heard every word we said.
"What! No, Niall you can't be serious in this, you can't give up on her!" Liam and Zayn said shocked and Louis just stared at me with wide eyes and a sad face.
"Who says I can't?" Emma walked back to me again and rested her head on my chest. "you can't give up on her Niall... She is too important." she whispered and gave me a small nod, which told me that she had told Lauren that non of the words I said here had any value.
"If she is that important, than why am I already forgetting her voice?" I said heartbroken, remembering how I was a couple days ago. Just after the interview and how the boys tried to cheer me up.
That was the moment that Harry found the important trace back to Lauren.
"She is not only important to you Niall! She is important to us too!" Harry joined the play we had and I shook my head.
"She is not! I can't take this any longer. Call Paul and tell him I will do one last intervieuw about her. As soon as we can. I want to be able to- to normally breath again without worrying about her."
Louis finally found the courage to speak to me after yesterday. "And what will you say then?! You will say that you give up the fight for her? You may have lost hope but we haven't." that was a lie, Louis gave hope up way for I could only think about giving up the hope to see her again.
"Don't lie to me Louis. I heard you yesterday, you said it wouldn't take long before I totally forgot about her entire being, before the only thing I would remember of her would be a blurry figure that caused me pain!" I started yelling and this wasn't an act.
The feelings I hide yesterday when I heard him saying it were the feelings I felt now when he lied to me, to all of us.
"You gave hope up before we even started searching." Harry had to stop me from hitting him in his face.
"but now she is all over the internet, the news, everywhere! You can't just do an interview and tell you stop searching for her! That is crazy. People would think this whole 'adopted and abducted little girl' is a PR stunt and what then?" he took a breath and continued.
"The fans noticed that there have been no PR things in over four months except the missing of Lauren. If we stop this, then what will they do? People dedicted their lives to find her, so they would get in touch with us! This is beyond just you and her!"
I swallowed, I knew I had had to think better about what I would say to them now.
Louis was mad like hell, and I don't know why. Maybe because he blames himself for it and tried to stop me from looking for her.
"I will call Paul, he can help you with this." Harry said and looked at me. "please just don't give up on her. She is our family too and we miss her almost as much as you miss her and as she misses you. I know that, I feel that." he said softly and I looked down. Even when this was an act it felt like Harry was judging me, which was a complete lie since he started with the idea of fooling them.
"Niall please, just sit down and I will get you something to eat. You don't think right when you haven't ate the entire day. Please listen to the boys." Emma said and I saw tears in her eyes.
"You can't give up on someone when you love that person. Don't let her slip through your fingers when you still have people that are willing to fight for her. Please don't make the mistake of giving up on your family." I looked at her confused and worried.
I got the feeling that what she said now was completely beyond Lauren. This was something that was personal to her and which hurted her, very much.
"come," Harry grabbed my arm. "You need some fresh air." he dragged me outside with some help of the others and Emma staid in the hall.
I couldn't believe Niall was giving up on Lauren. And what made me even more mad, at him and at myself, was that I was the reason for it.
"Louis," Zayn whispered at me when we were in the back yard and saw Niall crying in his hands, "is it true? Did you really say he'd forget her?" his voice was judging but I knew I deserved it.
"Not that directly, I hope." my voice was small and I didn't dared to look at my crying best friend.
"You hope!? You seriously said that he would forget his daugher!" he reaction was just like Harry's was yesterday. But this time, I didn't fought against it because I knew he was as right as he could be.
"You are an jerk Louis, really. Where is the Louis we used to know? That always was there to help or to make people feel better? I can't believe you, you have changed." those words hurted me like hell. Was he right? Did I changed, for the worst?
"Zayn pl-" "No, you don't have the right to ask me for forgiveness, you hurted Niall, and with that you hurt us." he walked away and i sat down with my back to the wall of Niall's house.
"What is wrong?" I didn't paid attention to the voice I heard, I just shrugged.
"Why are they mad at you?" I gave in to the voice. "because I made the biggest mistake in my life. I didn't believed in his love for her." I felt a small hand on my shoulder. "but do you believe your own love?" it was like this voice, well, it must be a person so yeah, this person, seemed to know what I meant. Even with the less words I spoke.
"of course I do!" I looked up and saw two navy blue eyes looking in mine. I gasped for air but I couldn't get it. My world fell apart the moment I looked at the little girl, dressed in a white dress.
"Lauren?" My voice was soft and I reached for her hand but it was like she was untouchable.
"baby is that you?" my voice was a little louder but I kept staring in her eyes.
"Lauren! Niall it's her!" I called for him and jumped up. "It's Lauren!" I heard all their voices and feet running to me and I looked for them.
"What? Louis where than?" I heard Harry's voice and I looked around again where Lauren just stood.
"I swear you, she was there like three seconds ago! Lauren!" I yelled and tried to find her but she was gone. Unfindable.
"Louis, she isn't coming back, forget it!" Harry told me just like Niall. "you say Erika is crazy for believing she saw Lauren but you are too. She isn't here, otherwise Niall would know."
I opened my mouth to say something but closed it again. "I- I am sorry for, well, for thinking she was here." I couldn't believe my mind tricked me. And infront of the others, it embarrassed me so much!
"There you are" we hear Emma's voice a bit more happy than before. "Look what I have for you Niall. Your favourite think for when you're upset." we all turned our heads to her when we heard her comming closer.
"And today I think it will make Louis a bit less upset too." I raised my eyebrow at Niall and he shrugged.
"Daddy! I fooled uncle Louis and he thought he was going crazy!" no one except Niall could move. We were all frozen.
"I know you did baby," he kissed her head and we just stared at them. "and he thought I was giving up on you, no way I will ever let you go."