'I will call you tomorrow for the further information. Have a good evening mr. Horan' he said just before he hung up on me. Leaving me heartbroken, confused, angry and numb.
"They can't do that right?" The lads were just as shocked as I was. "Why not... I obviously am a crap father. She fucking got abducted twice in eight months!" I looked at my little girl who was sleeping on the other couch of the room where Liam placed her to take off his dress.
"How will I tell her?" "How do you mean Niall?" I pointed to Lauren.
"How will I tell her this. She was willing to leave because she misplaced me and Paul's converstation. Now I have her back, she finally believes that I do love her and now I have to let her go again. She'll hate me. I wanna haver her. She is my baby!" they all looked down.
"But, we'll get her back right?" Louis said to me and I shook my head.
"they took my custody away Lou. I am not alowed to be a fucking partent anymore!" I started yelling at him.
He hid this from me. He knew she was still alive and not even far away but he didn't told me!
"You better tell her now Niall." Emma rubbed my leg.
"Tell her that it's not what you want but what you have as punishment. Tell her that we will try everything we can to get her back. That I even want to adopt her if that's the only way for you two to be together." Her voice if full of sadness.
"Shall I stay here for you?"
I nodded at her but the boys left anyway. This was something that I had to do with my family. My girlfriend and my daughter. They understood that.
"Baby" I shook her shoulders gentle.
"Lauren, wake up. Daddy needs to talk to you for a second." she rubbed her eyes and sat up, looking around to see the place she was at.
"I have some bad news darling. Some people called daddy this night and they don't want me to be your daddy anymore after what happened. They'll take care of you in two days time." she froze and after five seconds she started crying and clung her tiny arms around my neck.
"No! I don't want to leave you daddy. I'm sorry for walking away. If I had stayed this wouldn't have happened. I want you to be my daddy. I don't want to have another daddy anymore!"
"It's not your fault baby, it's mine. I had to watch over you better but I couldn't and didn't. But I promise you something and you have to believe me okay?" she nodded her head and I kissed her forehead.
"Daddy will get you back as soon as possible. I will try everything I can to become your daddy again because that is the only thing I want right now. And if that can't happen... If I can't become your daddy again we'll find something that makes us be together." I looked at Emma and she sat down next to Lauren too. Did she really wanted to do what she just said?
"If they don't let your daddy be your daddy anymore I'll become your mommy so you two can still be a family okay? Daddy really didn't wanted this but it's a punishment he got because of what they did to you..." Lauren nodded and burried her face in my socked wet shirt.
"We go to sleep okay? Daddy will watch over you and I won't leave you alone of a second in the upcoming two days. I am really sorry for this baby and I will work this out." she nodded and I carried her to my bedroom, took her shoes off and laid her down.
"Sleep well little princess. Daddy will figure something out. Pinky promise." she tiredly linked our pinkies and I kissed her forehead.
"I love you to death. You know that right?" she didn't answered but tears socked my shirt. She had fallen asleep, that was for sure, but she still cried.
"I really don't know what I'm supposed to say..." Emma stood in the door, wet face of the tears.
"Neither do I. People can say that I might got used to not having her around but I'm not. She is so strong and little and she's is mine"
"I'll go okay? Call me when you wake up. I love you." she kissed my lips and Lauren's forehead before she walked away again.
"And I'll tell the boys to leave too. Good night Niall... Good night."
But the night wasn't good. I searched for reasons to keep my baby, to stop them from taking her away from me and getting my custody back again.
Nothing that I found made sence. There was no way I would get her back.
A trail to fight for her was the only way. But it would take time, much time. Time that Lauren would be at another family and could forget about me. Time that she would have a normal life, that she would get used to the patern of going to school, playing with one or maybe two parents and going to bed again. A normal life that I couldn't give her.
"Niall..." I looked up and saw Emma standing in the door again.
"Why are you still here?" "Because I couldn't stand the thought of leaving you. And the boys forbade me to go. I know how important she is to you and that makes her important for me too." I smiled weakly and started sobbing again.
"Why can't I give her a normal life! What I meant when I was talking to Paul was that she could live with Greg and Denise while we had tours and if I was back again she would stay with me! If only she understood that then!" She shook her head and sat on the edge of the bed.
"You wanted to explain. You wanted to be a good dad. Someone just didn't wanted you to do that. Go to sleep... I'll sleep with you. On the other side of Lauren so she won't be able to dissapear again. I'll protect her too..."
"But I am supposed to watch over you two not the other way around! I need to protect you!" she laid her finger on my lips and I calmed down.
"Right now you need sleep. Tomorrow we'll find an solution okay? Sleep over it. The best ideas always come when you sleep." I smiled at her and my arms wrapped around both girls.
"I love you babe and I love you too princess. I'm sorry..." Emma smiled back and wrapped her arms around Lauren too.
"Don't be sorry. We just need to give her the best two days of her life so she will remember how much we love her and how much we would do to see her smiling."
And that was the plan. I would give her the best days ever and I would fight to get her back in my life again.
Just like I did before. Only now I knew she would be at a safe place while I fought for my role in her life. The most important role in her life had to be mine.