"God how could this happen?" I softly asked myself when Emma and I called a cab to take us home since John drove us in the first place. Now we had the entire afternoon for ourselves but I don't think we could really relax. Everything that happened made me want to know wether I could ever get my babe back.
"I don't know but this is great. If John is right we have so much more chance to get her back." She said happily and kissed my cheek. She was right, John has never let me down so I doubted he would start doing it right now.
"Yeah, I just can't believe they kept pushing me. Didn't they see how hard it was for me to controle what I was feeling, that it took so much of me to not start yelling at them. How can they be the perfect parents for her if they can't even have the respect to listen to me and to answer my questions about her?" I asked, my voice was soft and desperate.
"The only thing we can do now it let it go. John will talk to them and he promised to call tomorrow. We can catch a movie or something. And I have to be home at six, just so you know. Dinner won't happen than I guess." I sighed, why did her parents had to be so uptight about everything?
"Did you talked about it with them at all?" I asked her with a serious voice. I wanted to know how soon we could take the next step in our relationship. If only her parents apporved this wouldn't be so damn hard.
"I did not yet. I wanted to do it tonight or tomorrow or something-" "That's what you are saying for like three weeks Emma. I know you are scared for their reaction but I though you wanted this too."
"I do want this Niall! How could you say that. You know that I want this just as much as you, but you have to understand that I can't just walk in and tell my parents that I will move out. They are different than yours remember. Yours let you travle the world without a second thought!" i sighed frustrated, knowing that she was somehow right about that. Her parents just really sucked.
What could I have ever done that made her parents not want her to be with me? I never, never hurt her, or anything close to that.
"I really do want this but I am afraid to lose them. I really love them even when they annoy me like hell sometimes. I know you think differently about that but this is how I feel and they are my family. They have been there for me for my entire life and I can't just forget about that."
Why did she had to play it like that? It was pretty obvious that once she stared about family I had nothing I could say against it.
She had her family and those people were just a little different than my family and I had to respect that. I would be around them for a pretty long time since I really believed Emma and I could have a future together, if you know what I mean.
"I swear you that I will bring it up to them this weekend, I also want to be with you more, since you will be leaving in three weeks. Talking about that..." And we dropped the subject, that was for sure. Once the tour was brought up we couldn't go back to the subject of moving in together.
"It will only be a few weeks, not as long as the past tours I promise you." I assured her, knowing that she felt really bad about me leaving for a month, to America.
"And you could try to arrange things with school and maybe visit with El or Sophia after a week or so." I told her, hoping that she would find a way to come visit me. Her still being in school was really a turn off to be honest. Nothing against smart girls that like to get a good education for a future, but because of this we had less time to spend together. Sceduales, holidays and tours always seemed to make it impossible to really spend much time together and it sucked.
But I knew that I couldn't stop her, she wanted this really bad and that this was her way of proving the world that even though she was with me and could easily get everything she wanted by just asking me, she was willing to work for what she wanted.
"Yeah, but I also have to talk about it with my parents and Jarred of course. I can't just keep ditching work. Not since Teressa just quit and the new girls have no clue what to do." I nodded and pulled her closer to me.
"I know, I just really hope you can come. But lets not talk about that please, I have three more weeks with you so lets enjoy those weeks." I told her in a whisper, feeling goose bumbs raising on her arms.
"I know Niall, I just was kinda curious. If we move-" "When we move in togehter remember. It's gonna happen so it's not a question if, the question is when" I interupted her half laughing, half serious like hell.
"Okay than, mr sassy pants, If 'when' we move you are on tour, I will be completely alone, unless we get Lauren back." she said and I could swear I saw a tear in her eye. She did had a point with that.
It was out of the picture that Lauren would be back within three weeks, and even then, would I be able to leave her here on her own while I was in America? Staying home seemed safe at night, when Emma was back. But what about the times that Emma wasn't around, like when she has school or had to work? And lets not forget about the time she would spend with friends. Sure they could come here from time to time but they would want to go shopping, go to the theater and stuff like that. Lauren couldn't go with her on every ocation of the day. That would be wrong, that would be my duty, I adopted her, not Emma.
"You'll have Lauren, and El and Perry and Sophia. Really I know that it seems hard right now but you can keep in mind that I will be back before you know it and that you have loads of amazing friends that can help you find some distraction." I told her and kissed her lips softly, hoping that it would make my words more convincing.
"But I don't want my friends, or the girls.. I want you to help me with that distraction." This was gonna be so hard, to have her get over the fact that this is my life and that I can't just stop it because of her. This is something she has to learn how to deal with for a long time.
"Emma listen to me, we are gonna talk about this later okay? We are now going home and try to come up with an idea how to tell your parents that you won't be living with them for too much longer," I said to bring that subject back up. That was the most important, if that didn't work out Emma didn't even had to worry about being lonely while I was gone. "and that there is practically nothing they can do about it." She sighed, obviously not willing to talk about this again.
"Okay,lets juts go back and see what happens." She was so totally not ready for this, but she had to. It would have to be done sooner or later, soon rather than later.
"That's what I mean." I said playfully and kissed her cheek. "You know I love you." I said quickly when she just rolled her eyes, which was never a good sign in a situation like this.
"Yeah I guess I do. And I do too Niall, I really do too." I sighed relieved inside of me, not really knowing why those words effected me this much. She said it before today, that she loved me, but in some way it seemed really important to hear right now.
"What about we just take all your stuff and get it here, then you stay and when they call you to get your ass over there for the night you just tell them that someone took all your stuff and that you have no other option than to stay with me till all your stuff is back at you old place?" That was like my twentyth suggestion on how to break the news to Emma's parents but even I had to confess that this plan was stupid as hell and never was gonna succeed in a million years.
"What about no!?" Emma says and rolled her eyes, shaking her head and slightly pushing my shoulder.
"We have to come up with an idea since it's already 5 o'clock. If you don't start taking this serious I will just leave and come up with an idea myself without your help, but that will also mean that I choose the moment to tell them without your help." Which would mean that they would know that we wanted to move in when Emma was pregnant of out second child and we were already married for two years or so.
Maybe I had to start taking this seriously, the betting I helped Emma, the sooner and easier this would be done.
"I'm sorry baby, I do take this serious, I was just trying to light the mood a little bit." She sighed and stood up from the couch.
"I'm going for a walk and if you are still acting like a toddler when I come back, I wil just leave again as soon as I got inside." I really pushed her limits, she was pissed, and I could only blame myself.
"I'm sorry princess reallly. Please don't go." I tried but my begging was without result. She grabbed her jacket and left the house. With a sigh I sat down and started thinking really hard of a way to tell Emma's parents that I was so in love with their daughter that I wanted to test our relationship by moving in together.
People always told me that it's a big step and that it usually has some issues. It's like a rehearsal, a small tast, of what life will be like when we really do get married.
Mariage, what a weird thing. It's like writing some shit down, signing some stuff and then you are supposed to be with one person for the rest of your life, and if you find out that it was not meant to be, both persons go trough a load of crap, fights, useless loss of money because there will be lawyers needed in the way to a divorce. And that would only be the beginning.
Would Emma and I end up marrying? What would her dress look like? What would be the song we would dance on as our first dance as husband and wife? Why am I asking myself these questions?!
Emma made it clear that marriage was our of the way until she had finished school and had a steady job. So not in the upcoming year an a half, longer because she wouldn't have a job straight after graduating for sure.
Niall focus!! A way to tell Emma's parents that I want her to move in with me.
Do I smell food? I am so sure I smell food, the kitchen, no focus! Such a hard choice, food or focus, food or focus, food or... Both!
"So we could like invite them over here, for a dinner, people are always in a better mood after they ate some good food. And after desert we can like tell them that this is what we want?" And some people say that I am the worst person to come up with good ideas when my mind is set on things that involve food.
"Niall that is the worst- Wait?! That idea wasn't so bad at all... Who helped you? Was it Liam or Zayn?" I looked at her with wide eyes, while she did the same. Then I opened my mouth, looked very indignand and placed my hand on my heart, like what she said hurt me emotionally.
"Thank you, next time I have a brilliant idea I won't tell you since you don't believe it is actually mine." She laughed and kissed my lips quickly, making up for her comment.
"No, I'm sorry for not believing but you just kinda are not the person that gives the best ideas when it comes to things like this, if you know what I mean." Oh I totally knew what she meant, the guys always told me that they would only come to me for girl advise or other things that revolved around relationships, if they were so desperate that it was already a lost cause.
"Well okay, you are forgiven, because I am just hungry." I said laughing and pulled her on my lap.
"What about you just go home, I will call you later tonight and we can just adjust some things of my brilliant plan to confront your parents that you are me are meant to be together and that we have to do this in order to make the entire world happy." She started laughing and I got so disracted, her laugh, it could brighten anyones day, it was the most beautiful thing in the entire world. I would do anything to just see her smile every second of the day, for the rest of her life. What made me even more happy was knowing that I was the reason she was smiling.
"Sounds like a plan to me. Love you." She kissed my lips and walked to the door, luckily this time she wasn't pissed and annoyed by me.
"Love you too princess. Drive safe." I told her as she closed the door behind her, giving me time and space to think of so many things that it seemed like my head was going to explode anytime soon.
At first I was just thinking about my idea for the give move, but the longer I thought about that the more often I started to hear the word 'mariage' in my head. I really was losing it. Emma and I had only been together for like a year, maybe not even that. And here I was, thinking of locations, dates, rings, dances, speeches ect. for my wedding.
I mean, not that I don't love her that much, I am 20 so in theory there was enough time for me to just search before I was ready to be committed to one person for the rest of my life, but since the day I met Lauren my mental age lifted by like 5 or 6 years. Which made me a 25 year old popstar, with a daughter that wasn't officially his at the moment, with a girlfriend that he met not even a year ago. There are so many people that are 25 and getting married.
"Niall stop it! you are so totally losing your shit right now." I said to myself and shook my head, forcing myself to escape the thoughts about marriages, honneymoons and proposals, not in that specific order.
I am still only 20 years old and I have the most unpredictable job in the entire world, the most amazing job in the world, but as unpredictable as it could be. We were huge all over the world now, but no one knew how it would be in a year, no one would even know how big we would be in only two months. We had to keep our fans happy, keep writing music that could inprire them.
My life depended on them. If this would blow up, I had nothing. That also was a reason why I was so happy that Emma wanted to work for her own money. If I had to quit the band there would still be someone to make money for me, Lauren, maybe another child..
And there I was again, thinging about marriages, even a real baby of my own... I call it quit for today, it was long, weird and really exhausing. Tomorrow I would know more about how big my chances were to get Lauren back and about me and Emma living together. Another day full of stress and worries.
And my weeks off from tours were supposed to be relaxing and making sure I had rested enough to rock the stages again for a month straight. Sigh, when did life started to become so complicated?