Tonight Emma's parents and broter would come for dinner. I had been in the kitchen since 3 p.m. to make sure that everything would be perfect for them. I had to get on their good side, even if it would be the last thing I'd ever do.
"Niall calm down okay, you are already trying your hardest, they'll love it." Emma tried to calm me down but failed.
"How do you know that for sure? They hate everything about me, so why would they like this? the soup will probably be too salt and than they've found a new reason to hate on me." I continued with the lasagna I was making for them and heard a soft chuckle from Emma.
"What!? You know they hate me and will do whatever it takes to stop us from being together Emma. It's not funny." She quickly stopped and looked at me with a soft smile on her beautiful face.
"Niall please, I know you think this the only chance you have to win them over but it's not. And they don't hate you, really. The only thing they hate it that I will go away from them... After Da... After Caleb moving out they treated me like I was the only thing they lived for, and they will lose that if I move in with you." I sighed and kissed her softly.
"What should we do? Because I really need something to do to keep my mind off of what is gonna happen tonight and tomorrow with John..." She laughed and hugged me tightly.
"Are you going to tell them that you will get her back soon?" I shrugged and kissed her head, being beyond happy to have her with me today because without her I would have probably smashed everything that belonged in the kitchen and went to a chinese restaurant for a take away meal.
"Probably, I mean why would we hide it? After all, in a few years she will be their granddaughter." I felt Emma giggling without a sound and smiled down at her.
"Or do you have other thought on that?" I asked, my voice sounding fun and joking but in my head this question was quite serious.
What if she didn't wanted to be with me for that long, what if, once Lauren was back and everything went back to normal, with the tour, the being away from each other and the rumours of stupid newspapers, she would realize that she could also find a normal guy to be with. Someone she could have a normal relationship with. Someone with who she could be young, wild and free.
"Of course not Niall! We can also say it like that. Tell them that we are getting married in a few months. They will totally throw me out and we won't have to worry about them not aproving." I laughed and shook my head.
"Or they will kill me and take you with them and never let me see you again."
"I will never get to see you again if you are dead silly." I rolled my eyes at her and laughed.
"Such a Ms know-it-all... How do you live with yourself and your sass?"
"Ask yourself, you live with me too remember." and with that said I couldn't stop laughing and picked her up, threw her over my shoulder and run outside to the pool.
"Oh god! No Niall!!! Stop it please!" I smirked and hovered her over the water.
"What did you say Ms know-it-all? I can't hear you, all the sassy comments of you are too loud."
"Niall put me down right now!" She shouted both laughing and scared.
"Okay, but remember that you told me to," and I dropped her in the water, then quickly ran inside again and sat down on the couch, picking my phone and pretending nothing happened at all.
"Niall you are so dead to me right now!" I heart her yelling and I laughed, quickly opened my camera app on my phone and when she walked in, completely soaked an slightly shivering, I took a picture, nice one for twitter and instagram.
"I think I'll call my parents and tell them to not come. I so hate you-" sneeze. I couldn't stop laughing and almost fell off the couch, witch only made Emma more pissed and she turned around, walking back outside and sitting down next to the pool.
"Em, baby please it was just a joke." I said and stood up, still laughing softly, trying to not piss her off more that I already had.
"You know that I love you right?" but still she gave me the silent treatment, which she never did so it was pretty serious.
"Niall this is not funny, like for real! It's cold here and what if I fell with my head to the edge?!" Something was wrong, other than me dumping her in the pool. I mean, I had done it before and she never was so angry at me for it.
"Emma, what is really going on?" I heard her sigh and I sat down next to her, puling her into my side and kissing her head softly.
"You know you can tell me everything right? That's why I am here, to listen to you when you have some shit going on. I can help you." She shook her head and started crying softly.
"You can't Niall...No one can help me with this." she burried her face in my shirt and I only got more confused. What was going on?
"Sweety, if you tell me I can atleast try to help, you really are scaring me right now." she slowly looked up at me and sobbed softly.
"We could have been pregnant..." She whispered and cried more while I could only stare at her with my mouth wide open in shock and confusing.
We could have been pregnant? Of course we could, I mean we had had sex before but we always made sure we used protection. Emma was on birthcontrol so how could this be real, be possible?
"H-how do you mean Emma? Talk to me okay?" I wiped some tears off of her face and kissed her forehead softly.
"Remember that I was working so much like a month ago?" I nodded and she continued telling me everything she kept inside for a quite long time.
"I started feeling ill and throwing up and shit and I went to the doctor, just to check if I didn't had some foodposion or anything, and when they took bloodsamples they told me I was pregnant, almost a month already... I wanted to surprise you with it, on your birthday but two days before that I lost so much blood, I was so scared and went to the hosiptal straight away... It died." I shook my head and hugged her tight, still not believing this happened, and she walked with this for almost two weeks without telling a soul!
"Oh god baby, calm down, it's gonna be okay, I promise you." I whispered and only held her closer to me when she cried her heart out, probably for the first, or second time since she heard the news.
I could have been a father of two in six months...
"I am so sorry Niall. It's all my fault... I wished for it, when I found out. I wished it was a lie, a dream... But this, I don't want it to be like this Niall, I want to have a family with you and I am the reason that can't happen."
"Emma it's not your fault okay. Do you hear me, it is not your fault and I am not mad at you for hoping it would be a lie... I think I can understand that thought, even tough I would have loved the baby to death and would have done everything to be the best father ever, I think we are too young, too dependend on others and lets not forget, you are still in school. We are too young, and we couldn't have taken care of a newborn yet, not like we will able to do so in a year or two." I whispered in her ear and sighed.
"Let is out princess, I only wish you would have told me sooner, so I could have helped you, supported you."
"I thought you'd hate me if I told you" How could she ever think I would hate her for being pregnant? If there was anyone I would be mad at it would be myself, for not seeing something was wrong sooner than I did.
"You know that I will never get mad at you, or hate you, for something we both did. Remember that getting pregnant isn't an one woman job. I was involved in it too so if there is anyone to blame, it's me. Because I didn't noticed you felt misserable and I just let this happen without being there for you when you needed me most." I heard her sigh softly and I kissed her lips, hoping she'd understand that there was no one to blame for what happened.
She lived healthy, with or without a baby, she only drunk alcohol when we were at a party or so and she worked out at least once a week.
Life is unfair sometimes, and ever since I adopted Lauren, life became even more unfair.
"You know what, you take a bath and I will finish here. Relax and take all the time you need to get yourself together again. I understand and I won't judge if you want to cancle the dinner. We can do it next week or so? Do you want me to call your parents?" She firmly shook her head and wiped her tears away with her shirtsleeve.
"No, they wouldn't understand and they will think you are not mature enough to keep your promisses," she did have a point with that... God why is life so complicated?!
"I will call them and ask if they can come an hour later or so, so you have more time to relax again. I will just tell them that Paul called me or something, that we had to talk about the next album and that, even tough I tried to tell him to not do this today, he insisted on me being there. And as mature as I am, I can't just let my boss down." I softly laugh left Emma's lips and I smiled too. I don't know how or when but I did became quite a good and believable liar.
"Are you sure-" god maybe she was right, she just kept sneezing all the time... Maybe it was too cold to throw her in the pool, if she got sick it would be all my fault.
"Yes, quick, go inside and take a bath, I will get you some dry cloths so you can change in them afterwards. You are getting cold and I don't want you to become sick." I kissed her forehead and helped her stand up, holding her closer than before. That was something I already knew I'd have to do more for the upcoming days, maybe even weeks.
What we, well actually, what she went trough was so hard, and we didn't even planned on having a baby. I didn't even knew I had to take extra care of Emma, but now that I knew, I wouldn't let it happen that she would feel misserable and sorry for me and the baby. She had to understand that what has happened had nothing to do with her not being healty enough. It had to do with life... how unfair it sometimes is, you can't just stop it.
She slowly walked inside again and I shook my head to myself, picking her up and carrying her to the bathroom, slowly and carefully putting her down and kissing her lightly on her lips.
"Do you want me to get you propper cloths for the dinner or just comfy clothes like your sweatpants and my hoodie?" she just nodded and went inside, locking the door and leaving me, slightly scared of what would happen.
But I had to trust her, she had known this for almost a month and she didn't do anything serious to herself, but what if she started blaming herself even more now that I knew about the miscarry?
I quickly ran to the bedroom and picked the first hoodie I found on the floor, it wasn't that old, only two days ago I had worn it. Emma wouldn't mind, I was sure about that. I also picked a pair of sweatpants for her, the pink ones she loved because it was fluffy and warm.
"Emma, I have a pair of cloths for you babe. Shall I lay them-" sobs, soft but still hearable trough the wooden bathroomdoor.
"Emma what's wrong? Can you please open the door for me." I trew the cloths down and tried to open the door but it was still locked.
"Sweetheart, if you don't open the door for me I'll have to break it. Please I'm worried for you." I heard the sound of water hitting the floor and I sighed relieved. She'd come and open the door!
"Emma," I didn't care about the fact that she was naked and wet, neither did I care about the fact that my cloths, which were already wet from hugging her down at the pool, would now definately be soaked. All I cared for was Emma, and making sure she would be okay, as okay as she could be at the moment.
"It's my fault Niall... Everything is my fault," I rubbed her back and sighed. How could she think this was her fault? Didn't any doctor told her miscarriages are no one's fault?
"It's my fault Lauren's gone, it's my fault the baby's dead, it's my fault you can't just live a life like the other guys... I ruined everything for you." It was her fault Lauren was gone? Lauren was gone because I wasn't a good father to her, because I let her slip trough my fingers twice. Emma was the reason she got back, Emma was the reason we were about to get her back forever.
"It's not baby, really. Shhh calm down okay?" I stroke her hair and kissed her head softly. "Everything is not your fault and you ruined nothing for me, for no one." I whispered and held her closer to me, lightly rocking her body and rubbing her back.
"I think it would be better for everybody if we broke up, no more pain, no more guilt... I'm sorry but this probably is the only way for all of us to be happy again."
Hey everybody! I'm sorry it took this long but school, work and trying to keep a social life are killing me. I think I will stop having the social life, just to write for you!
I also made a twitter! it's @SummerxLover1 (same as my usersname on Wattpad from now on) and you can ask me all you want. If you don't have twitter you can also ask me things in the comments. I hope you are not really mad at me for not updating sooner but I tried my best, it came out a little different than I expected but I honestly love the new twist.