Coffee this morning, for sure, and for the both of us.
"It was just a dream Kayla. I mean look at us, we're as happy as can be. We have Jason, together, and neither of us know a Louis Tomlinson. Or any of those guys for that matter." I tried to reassure her as I handed her a mug.
"You don't understand Liam. This dream... It wasn't just a dream. It was so real. I could feel everyone's feelings, and they were all real. The smells and tastes were so strong. How could I not have really been eating something, or smelling something? And the touch of each and everyone's body. The touch of a mug, of a flower, of the door, I can still feel it." She took a sip of her coffee, then set her mug down.
I took her hands in mine. "It was a dream. Sometimes my dream feel real too. One night I had a dream I was at funeral, it was your funeral. I thought for sure you had really died. The way Jason's hand felt in mine, his tears, and mine. Soon he became tired, I started carrying him. Every time someone would say your name he would tense up." She squeezed my hands as tears started forming in my eyes. "It was horrid."
"Oh babe, I know." I looked up at her tear stained cheeks, my face going blank.
"What do you mean?" My vision became blurry because of the tears. I blinked to let them fall, but when I opened them she wasn't in her pajamas anymore. She had makeup on, and the dress from the funeral, from my... It wasn't a dream.
Out hands slipped away from each other as I stumbled against the wall, then I slid down to the floor. Watching her become more transparent with each second.
"I love you Liam. Take good care of our little boy for me." She whispered, blew a kiss, then disappeared forever.
"I love you too." I set my head on my knees, letting the tears come as they please.
"Daddy." Jason called with his morning voice. "Who were you talking to? Why are you crying? What happened?" He knelt down beside me, putting a hand on my shoulder.
"She's gone Jason." He nodded, starting to tear up thinking about it. "I'm sorry. Come here." I took him in my arms like that night. His head resting on my shoulder. I could feel the wetness starting to seep through my shirt, making it stick to me.
"Is that who you were talking to? What did she say?" I decided not to send Jason to kindergarten this morning, honestly he doesn't need it, but I'm kind of regretting it. So many questions and I just need to stop thinking.
"She wanted to remind me that she loves me, so I won't give up. Then she told me to take good care of you." He smiled at my response. Then went back to playing with his toys.
"I miss her." He started to just move the car back and forth in one spot.
"I do too." I sighed, looking out the window, rocking in Jason's old rocker.
"Do you think it was Louis' fault?" As soon as the name Louis left his mouth I stopped mid rock.
I crawled down on the floor next to him. He stopped rolling his car. "What was that?"
"Tol-ison. Louis Tolison." Tomlinson... Louis Tomlinson. The one from her dream. I thought that wasn't real though?
"Jason, I need you to tell me everything about this Louis Tolison. Okay?" He nodded, setting his car aside.