"I can't believe we had to leave. I didn't think the day would ever come." I said finally.
"Your head may be stuck like that." I didn't look up, I didn't need to. I knew it was Niall. He may be right. My heads been down, along with my attitude, since we got on the bus. To be honest, I didn't want to leave this time.
"Louis look at me." I almost looked at him. I didn't want to look at anyone, I didn't want to talk to anyone, but Harry always gets his way. "Stop the bus." He was making his way to the front. I jerked my head up to look up at him. "Much better. Now are you going to talk to us?" He shot a smirk. I didn't have much of a choice.
I kept thinking about him, both of them, all of them. It was one of the best days we've ever had together. As soon as the bus left my view I ran inside and started to cry. I felt like they would never have to leave again. I loved all five boys, each a different love, but two a deeper more intimate love. They're my brothers and no matter when or where they'll always be there for me, and I love that feeling. I miss not having them right here with me. For a long time now I'm not going to have Louis coming over in the middle of the night unexpectedly, his hugs, his kisses, the smell of his cologne left on the furniture or my clothes, him letting me play with his hair, and what I'm going to miss most of all is when he would sing to me. I won't get a hug from Niall for so long, I don't know if I'll survive without my Horan hugs. Harry stealing my bananas, now I'm going to have to start getting less or most will go bad. Zayn, oh Zayn. He's perfect in every way... He has biggest heart, definitely gives the best advice, and I could tell him everything, then he wouldn't say anything. Now who am I supposed to talk to? I just smiled to myself thinking about everything. In my mind I saw Liam laughing in the hallway last night. They've been here for months, and in the last couple of days I've once again fallen for this angel. His smile is why I ever walked over to him in the first place.
That huge smile, and his eyes squinted as he laughed so hard with some friends in a parking lot. He jumped back, his hand covering his mouth. He moved it to his stomach, he was laughing so hard he could hardly breathe. I tried to watch the other boys to see what they were doing, but I kept going back to him. His smile was too great to not look at. I walked over to the group. Just five boys, if you include him. I was walking up behind his friend, he looked at me. Suddenly caught my eyes, and then turned away just as fast. His friend turned around, then all the others looked over to see me standing there.
"Leave her alone Dan." He said. I was shocked to hear his accent.
"What makes you think you can tell me what to do?" Dan turned to face this stranger, who would end up being such a huge part of my life.
"I'm asking you to leave the girl alone. Please. I think you've done more than enough today." This boy, with the perfect smile, just a moment ago was laughing. Now on the inside he's probably hoping Batman will come in and save his ass. He looked over and smiled at me. I waved at everyone as they turned their heads to look at me again.
"I don't think..." I decided to cut him off, maybe it would be a good decision, maybe it wouldn't.
"Hello. Can I say something?" They all walked two steps towards me, which seemed like too much. "Ok well first off, hi I'm Kayla. I wanted to say the only reason I came over here is to talk to that boy right there." I pointed behind Dan.
"Liam doesn't know any girl like you. Matter of fact Liam hasn't had the best of luck with the ladies, so if he met one he'd definitely tell us about it." Liam, his name is Liam, that's all I could think about. Putting the smile, with a name.
"What makes you so sure?"
"Liam do you know this girl?" The friend that was just talking bad about him turned around to look at him. Dan, along with the other boys, kept their eyes on me.
"Yes, I do." Between Dan and the other friend I could see a smile and a quick wink, as the guy turned around.
"Now can I talk to him? It's kinda important." I moved my eyes, as slow as I could, from Liam to Dan. He looked quite shocked.
"Yeah, go ahead Liam buddy." He patted his shoulder as he walked past everyone.
"We need to go somewhere else." He said as soon as he got to me. We walked somewhere they definitely couldn't hear us, and hopefully couldn't see us anymore. "I'm so sorry about that. I really shouldn't be hanging out with those guys." I looked around for them, but I didn't see them. Hopefully they were gone.
"It's fine. I'm sure I've endured much worse. We can just act like it never happened. Ok you stand there, I'm going to come walking and "accidentally" bump into you, and that'll be our first meeting." I left him standing there and ran off. I turned to see if it was enough. I got my phone out and started to act like I was on my phone. Finally I bump into him.
"Hi there. Are you ok?" He was trying not to laugh.
"Oh yeah, I'm fine. Sorry about that." I shook my head, thinking this is so stupid.
"I'm Liam." He stuck his hand out.
"Nice to meet you Liam." I started to shake his hand. "I'm Kayla."
"Kayla, this was the stupidest idea ever, but I would love if you would come have tea with me." Tea? Sweet tea, black tea, what kind of tea? I'm sure my face said I was confused because he answered my question without me asking. "Come with me and we'll get sweet tea, and maybe lunch if you're up for it?" He smiled at me again.
"Ok, let's go."
I would never expect everything that has happened, would happen. Now I have to miss that smile for such a long time. I shouldn't have ended it with him, but it's what I felt was right. I had to do it. Now I'm stuck in between loving him still, loving Louis. I don't know what the right thing to do is this time.
"Liam?" I heard someone calling for me. I had decided to go to bed early. I hadn't really slept much, it's hard to change your routine after so long. It was so uncomfortable. "Liam? Are you asleep?" This time they opened my curtain. I opened my eyes to see Louis. "I thought we could talk. While you know, just us could talk." At first I thought he was joking, but he stood there waiting for me to get up. I finally pulled myself out of the hole. I stumbled all the way to a seat, either I had no energy or I wasn't used to the driving and walking yet. It flashed a quick memory of the night Kayla broke up with me. When I got home trying to be calm about it, but I couldn't. I can remember having to stumble around because I kept throwing things and kicking things. The usual after a breakup. I cried to, for the first time in forever I had cried. I let her go once, I knew that was one of the biggest mistakes of my life. I told myself that night if I were to find her I would never let her go again. What am I doing right now? After this is over, we can't just come right back here. There's family, friends, home. What if she slips away again, not just away from me, but Lou too? I don't want him to feel like I do.
"You know she loves you a lot Lou?" He looked confused at first.
"I know. You know she loves you too?" He didn't look as upset as I thought he would talking about it.
"Yeah, I know. I just don't think I could do that to you though. You didn't know about us before, but I would know that you and her dated. I couldn't do it man." I shook my head at the thought. I would love to be with her again, but it's not possible.
"I think about it Liam, a lot now. Who would she be happier with? It doesn't matter who she's with, what she's doing, nothing matters except that she is happy. If she came to me and told me that she would be happier with you I would let her go. I wouldn't hold a grudge, I wouldn't be mad, I wouldn't even kiss her goodbye. I'd tell her go, go be happy and walk away. I would never look at her like I do now ever again. I would probably still love her for a while. Sooner or later, hopefully I would finally get over her." His head was down again. I knew he meant every word he said.
"Wow Lou, maybe we can actually be close after all." We laughed a little. Then it was quiet. "I want her to be happy too. I can see that she's happy with you, like today, that's why I keep my distance. At first I thought..." I couldn't put it that way. "I just wanted her back so bad, that I was willing to do anything for that to happen. Now I know I may never have a relationship with her again and that's ok. I'm actually ok with that. As long as she is in my life some way, a friend, a neighbor, whatever it may be, and as long as she is happy." Louis looked ecstatic at my answer. Little did he know I lied, partially. I did want her to be happy and all, but I wanted it to be with me. I still wanted her.