"So…" I say, trying to break the sudden silence. "I guess we will be spending a lot of time together." He just nods and my attempt to start a conversation failed. With a shy smile I stand up and walk over to the two beds.
"Which one is mine?" I ask.
"That's up to you," he says and fall silent again.
"Okay… uhm…" I pause, wanting to continue, but not knowing what to say. I just want him to talk to me, explain what's going to happen or just loosen up a bit, cause I can see that he's tense.
"Hmm?" he looks at me with confuse written on his face.
"What time is it?" I ask, thinking of going to bed. My eyes are beginning to hurt as well as my whole body. Today has been a long and rough day, so of course I would feel exhausted.
"It's almost 11 o'clock. Are you tired?" He asks while walking over to me. He has loosen up a bit, but he still looks a little tense.
"Yes, a bit."
"Okay, you can just go to bed, your change of clothes is right there. I'll turn around while you change," he says, pointing at some clothes in the end of the bed and turns around like he promised.
After I've changed clothes, I lie down on the bed. André is still facing the exit, so I clear my throat to make him know. He turns around, facing me, looks at me for, what feels like forever and then looks away. Silent. I want to say something, but I feel like he wants to say something as well. So I wait for him to speak, but since he doesn't, I break the silence at last.
"Go-good night." Damn! My voice is shaking. All the pressure from today, the anxiety, the adrenalin and the loss of my memory has made me weak. I hope he doesn't notice.
"Good night, sleep tight. Looks like you need it," he says. Did he notice? He walks over to the light and blows it out. "I'm right here if you need anything," saying that he goes out of the tent leaving me here. I can see him standing right outside, so he didn't completely leave me. Maybe he is just being considerate? Cause I don't think, I will be able to sleep, with him watching me. I probably wouldn't either way, but still… This is better.
After thinking for awhile I finally fall asleep.
* I'm back in the woods, running, out of breath and scared. The person chasing me is closing in, but I just keep running, running until I can't feel my legs. The sound of a water stream is getting closer and I know the river is right up ahead. I just have to make it to the river, then he will probably stop the chase. Hopefully. I run past some bushes and can know see the river. It's normally a really beautiful sight, but not today. Today it's much more scarier, maybe because the stream seems stronger than usual. Or maybe because I'm running for my life. Could be both. I stop, hesitating, not sure if this is such a good idea. But the sudden sound of a branch cracking, surprise me and you reflex I jump in. The second my head gets under the water, I can feel the river pull me away. I try to get up, so that I can get some air, but I'm being pulled down, right as I'm inhaling the air. The river carries me away and I lose consciousness, after giving up on fighting the rivers stream. *
With a gasp I sit up. My body's shaking uncontrollably, my mind's spinning around and sudden tears are welling up. It was just a dream. Just. A. Dream. Or so I wish, but I know it wasn't. The fear is overwhelming, surrounding me in the dark. I can still feel the pain in my chest, from where my lungs screamed for air. But most of all, the fear of being chased, is still as clear as the sky. What scare me the most, is that I don't remember who chased me.
"Are you alright? Adele?" André says, surprising me, cause I didn't see him come. He sits down on the bed, looking concerned.
"Hey, it's okay, you're not in danger. I'm right here, so relax," his kind words just makes my tears run wild. I can't stop crying. I can't speak. All I can do, is accept his comfort.
While crying to my hearts content, I can hear Andrés kind words. He keeps talking to me, maybe trying to make me feel comfortable, so that I would stop crying. But for now I just can't. Simply because I need this. I need to be able to cry, that way I will be able to smile in the morning. Crying helps you to move on, that's something I learned a long time ago. I can't remember who taught me, or what I was crying about, or how old I was, but I know it was someone precious to me.