I felt fat.
My belly was getting bigger and i was feeling so sick all the time.
Today we were going to the hospital to our ultrasound appointment.
I didnt really care if today was the day we got to know the gender of our child, i didnt even care about the gender as long as it was healthy and happy.
I knew that Justin had he's dreams about a boy and then later getting a little girl and then the boy would be that kinda big brother that wouldnt gonna let anyone touch his little sister.
It was a cute dream he had, i was so sure he was gonna be the most loveable dad ever.
I was so stressed lately.
Justin was playing his music and hanging out with his friends.
It almost felt like he was livng his life without me.
I was just sitting here in this couch, eating food and peeing alot.
Me and Justin hadnt had sex since i we found out i was pregnant.
I needed sex.
God. I had to talk to Justin.
But he wasnt home...
He was at some friend's place chilln.
I didnt want to ruin his fun, but i really had to tell him and i had to tell him now.
I grapped my phone from the table and wrote a text for Justin.
Sam: Hey baby, NTT
I pressed send and waited for him to answer.
But he didnt.
I waited for 2 hours.
I looked at the time.
My apointment was in 15 mintues. I had to go now.
Justin was suppose to come with me, but i guess he was doing something way more fun.
Sam: Going to the ultrasound now, be home when im done. NTT
I took a deep breath and walked out to my car.
I got to the hospital and walked inside.
As i was sitting on the waiting room waiting. I thought about alot of things.
Maybe Justin was still not ready to have a family,
He was world wide famous, how could he possible have time for me and a baby?
Voice: Samantha, come on in.
I looked up at the nurse, smiled and walked inside with her.
I lay down and lifted my shirt, so my belly was showing.
Nurse: Okay Samantha, you might feel something cold in a second but just relax.
Sam: I wish i could.
I saw the baby.
It was so beautiful.
I couldnt believe my own eyes.
After the ultrasound i drove home.
As i parked i noticed that Justin car was here.
I took a deep breath and walked slowly inside.
I opened the door and walked into the livingroom.
Justin was standing infront of the couch and looked at me.
Justin: What's wrong Babe?
Sam: Justin, i cant handle this on my own.
Justin: What are you talking about?
Justin looked worried at me.
Justin: Sammy, are those hormons blowing up again?
I felt the anger getting to my head.
Sam: What!? Not everything is the hormons! I can get mad because i feel like it too.
Justin took my hand.
Justin: Babe relax. Dont yell.
I pulled my hand away from Justin's and looked mad at him.
Sam: Dont tell me what to do.I've been doing this thing all by myself. Its your fault too. Dont make me handle this alone.
Justin: Babe, im sorry if i made you feel like that, i just thought that soon i couldnt do what i love every day.
Sam: So being with me and the baby isnt what you love?
Justin: You know thats not what i ment.
Sam: Do i?
Justin: I just want to be young right now and then be an adult when the baby comes.
Sam: Justin, i dont want to be the evil wife all of your friends hates because im calling you all the time calling for your help.
Justin: I'm sorry
I stared walking away and looked back at Justin.
He was just standing there.
Sam: I dont want to raise her by myself.
Justin: What did you just say?
Sam: I said that i didnt want to raise her by myself.
Justin walked closer and took my hand.
Justin: It's a her?
Justin: am i having a little girl?
Justin smiled and kissed me.
We walked upstairs and cuddled for a while before i discited to let my felling speak for me.
I kissed Justin neck and rubbed on his jeans.
He moaned but hurried to push me away.
He looked at me.
Justin: Sammy please dont.
Justin: It's not a good time.
Justin: Because youre pregnant, with my little baby girl.
Sam: Justin, we havent had sex since we found out i was pregnant.
Justin: I know, i know.
Sam: Justin, i really need sex.
Justin: I know, me too but i dont want to do it.
Sam: Why not?
Justin: What if it hurts her?
Sam: Thats the stupidest thing youve said all day.
I turned around and fell asleep pretty fast.
Tired, dissapointed and mad.