I woke up and sat up straight. I only got about an hour of sleep.. I sighed at the thought of me and Autumn's fight last night.. I'm an ass. I don't blame her if she leaves me.. Hell, if I was her i'd leave me. I might have just ruined everything.. I should've just left at 11 last night. I shouldn't have let Harry get me another drink.. I'm so stupid!
I covered my face with my hands and just cried. I'm probably the most sensitive guy in the world.. But I don't care right now. I don't deserve her.. I've hurt her so much! I've broke her heart, fixed it, broke it, fixed it, and then broke it again! She needs someone who will treat her like the princess she is.. And I don't think it's me. I don't want to go on tour knowing that the love of my life is at home, just waiting for me.. I would be gone all year.
I heard light footsteps coming down the steps. This is gonna be the most painful conversation I've ever had.. She sat down on the couch across from me and sighed. We sat there in silence for about 2 minutes.
"I don't know how to start this.." She said trying not to keep eye contact with me.
"I do.. Autumn, we need to just take a break. From us."
"So were breaking up..?" She sighed.
"Yeah.. We'll see how things go after the tour."
"I don't care if you go out or date again.. As long as your happy. That's all I want for you."
"I'm happy with you Niall.. I thought we'd spend our life together and live happy ever after." Her voice shook.
"It's not a fairytale, Autumn. At least not with me.. I want you to go out and find your prince. He'll treat you right."
"You know I love you right?" She asked and I nodded. It's taking all I have not to tell her I love her and to run up and kiss her and ask her to marry me all over again.. But, I can't. It's for the best..
I looked in her eyes and could tell she was trying not to cry.. We packed up all her stuff in boxes and loaded them into her car.
"So I guess this is goodbye..?" She asked sadly.
"Promise me something."
"What do you want me to promise?"
"Promise me that you'll send me brownies?" She said chuckling.
"Of course." I smiled.
"But really.. Promise that you'll find your princess and love her the same way you loved me."
"I promise." I choked out, trying not to cry.
She got in her car and left taking my heart along with her. I rushed inside and cried. I dialed Liam's number on my phone and he picked up after a couple rings.
"Liam come over. I need someone to talk to." I let out in one breath before he could say anything.
"Ok Niall I'll be right there."
I hung up and cried even harder. I love her so much.. But I don't deserve her. She deserves someone who will be there for her all the time, someone who won't hurt her.. Unlike me. She's better off without me.
I heard the door open and close and Liam's footsteps down the hallway. He came and sat down next to me.
"What happened?" He sighed.
"I- I broke up with her."
"Liam, I've hurt her so much. She needs someone who will always be there for her! I can't when I'm on tour across the world all year!"
"She loves you, Niall"
"I know.. I love her too."
He patted me on the back and I completely broke down. I don't care if Liam sees me cry. We have heart to heart conversations all the time, he's been in my position before.
"Things changed so quickly! These few days were supposed to be amazing and Saturday would've been the best day of our lives! I was supposed to see her in her wedding dress, walking down the aisle, and i'd get to kiss her and finally call her mine and-"
"Like you said, it's for the best." Liam replied still patting my shoulder.
"Do you know how hard it is to love someone so much, but have to let them go just so they could be happy?" I cried out.
"No.. And I hope I never do. You're strong, lad."
"No I'm not. I'm the weakest person in the world.."
I ran into me, Emma, and Jamie's old house, which is now Harry and Emma's. I probably looked absolutely terrible.. Makeup down my cheeks, my hair messy, but I don't care.
Harry was the first one I saw and he instantly knew. He pulled me into a tight hug.
"How'd you know what happened?" I asked.
"Word gets around quickly, love."
Emma came running in with some tubs of ice-cream, candy, and 'The Notebook' on DVD.
"Harry get out. Girls' night." Emma said pointing to the door.
"Okay, okay." Harry replied before innocently putting his hands up and walking out of the house.
"Okay, now spill out your feelings." Emma sat down across from me on the couch while turning the tv off so it was quiet.
"I don't know what happened! Last night we were fighting and I brought up what happened the night he got drunk and I asked if he cheated on me and he said maybe and I ended up saying that we should cancel the wedding and it just got carried away! Then this morning he said we needed to break up." I spoke quickly while hot tears ran down my red cheeks. "I- I don't think he loves me anymore.. And if he never did love me he did a real good job pretending. Hell, I don't even believe in love at this point! I'm just happy that he'll be happy now.. And his princess will be so lucky cause she gets what I once had that I deeply loved."