I've been back in America for about 2 weeks now. I just got off the phone with Emma and Jamie.. I have absolutely nothing to do. If I go out I get surrounded by fans and paparazzi and it doesn't help when the fans want to kill you. My parents and brother aren't home so I'm by myself.. Bored out of my mind.
I laid on my bed and turned on the tv.
"Niall Horan cheats"
"Niall and long time girlfriend split"
"Behind the Nautumn breakup"
Channel after channel was gossip news channels talking about it, still! It's kinda hard getting over him when he's literally everywhere. I glanced out the window and saw most of the fans left except for 2 who were holding a sign that says, 'We love Autumn'. A smile instantly grew on my face.
I slipped my flip flops on and walked outside and over to them. They started freaking out and jumping up and down. They looked maybe 14 or 15 years old.
"Hi. Don't you guys get bored standing out here?" I asked chuckling.
"We were starting too but it was worth it to meet you!" One of the girls said happily.
"Can we get a picture!?" The other girl asked.
"Of course." I smiled.
She took her phone out and held it in front of us getting our faces into the picture. She took it and I got a picture with the other girl.
"Thank you so much!" One of them said.
"You're welcome! Thanks for the sign.. It definitely cheered me up!" I said smiling.
"I heard Niall's really upset. Is he?" One asked.
"I have no idea.. Honestly. I haven't talked to him in weeks.." I said sadly.
"I totally ship you guys.." The other one said making me laugh.
"Thanks. You guys are awesome! Now you should probably go.. It looks like it's gonna rain."
"Okay. Bye! Nice meeting you!" They said.
I walked inside and couldn't help but smile. Not every fan hates me. I thought about what they said though.. Is Niall really upset? Should I call him..? Or just call one of the other guys and ask them? Yeah.. I'll do that.
I scrolled through my contacts and came across Harry's name first, so I'll call him. I hit call and put the phone up to my ear.
"Hey Autumn." Harry answered.
"Hey Haz. Whats up?" I asked.
"Watching the lads play FIFA waiting for my turn. You?"
"Nothing.. Just bored."
"You're around the beach. How are you bored.." Harry said making us both chuckle.
"I don't know I just am. So how's Niall?" I asked.
"He's doing better.. We finally got him out of his room."
"Yeah. So when are you coming to visit?" He asked.
"I don't know.. I've only been gone 2 weeks.. And I don't know when the next flight is."
"We can send you our private jet."
"I don't know.." I said doubting the idea.
"Come on! Please? I'll meet you on the plane."
"Okay see you tomorrow. Bye, love."
I hung up and sighed. Well I'll get to see Niall.. I'm still not quite sure if it's a good thing or a bad thing. The good thing is I'll get to see him and talk to him.. I miss him. The bad thing is, I don't know how he'll react to me. He knows I still love him.. Zayn told me he gave him the letter.
I started to get hungry so I decided to make something to eat. I walked to the kitchen and looked around. Well.. Since my family left for a couple days, I'll be cooking for just myself. I'm not bad at cooking but I'm not the best either.
"Spaghetti sounds good.." I said to myself before getting out all the ingredients.
I started making it when my phone started going off. I rushed to wipe my hands off and answer it. I quickly picked it up and answered it, not bothering to look at the caller id.
I couldn't do it anymore. I needed to hear her voice and laugh. I needed to hear her words and accent. I grabbed my phone and went to her contact name in my phone..'Princess'. I hovered my thumb over the call button but finally got the nerve to press it.
"Hello?" She said.
"Hey, Prin- I mean Autumn. Hey, Autumn." I said mentally face-palming.
"Hey, Nialler." Oh my god I love when she calls me Nialler. I like when she says my name.. It's cute with her American accent.
"Whatcha doin?" I asked.
"Making spaghetti. You?" She replied.
"Oh um just sittin here. Bored."
"Sounds fun. Well I'm gonna-"
"Wait! I need to talk to you about what happened.. And the letter." I practically yelled into the phone.
"Don't you think we should in person?" She asked.
"It can't wait. You need to know now.."
"Okay. What, Niall?" She sighed.
"That night.. That girl came onto me. I didn't kiss back I pushed her off.. You just didn't see. I promise."
"I wanna believe you.. But I just don't think I can."
"Autumn.. It's true. And that letter.. It killed me inside. You don't think I love you. I love you, more than anyone else in the world"
"Niall. You don't have to say that just cause of the letter. It's okay.. I understand."
"No, Autumn I-"
"I gotta go Niall, talk to you later." And with that she hung up.
"F**k.." I cursed under my breath hanging up my phone and dropping it on the floor. I laid back on my bed and covered my face with my hands.
Its like I'm playing a game that I'm destined to lose. I need to prove that I love her. But how? I'm just gonna have to do something romantic.. But not cheesy.. Ugh this is hard. I'm just gonna sleep on it, maybe I'll get an idea.
I laid down and stared up at the ceiling. The bed feels so much bigger and colder without her.. I've had to deal without her for so long.. I can't do it. I don't know how I did it for years after I left for x-factor. I just want her next to me again. I wanna hear her laugh and have her singing and dancing around in the kitchen while making breakfast. I want her stuff back in here it makes the house look.. More homey.. If that makes sense. I miss waking up in the morning and seeing her next to me all curled up under all the covers. I miss looking into her eyes before she kisses me. I miss her! I miss everything about her! Why do I have to screw everything up!
I finally fell asleep at about 6am after crying and crying and crying for hours.