It's been about 3 weeks since Niall and I broke up. We haven't talked since that night.. He's called and texted, but I'm afraid I'll give in and forgive him. I can't forgive someone who cheated on me.. I keep telling myself I don't love him.. I don't love him.. But I do. And I always will.. No matter how hard I try I can't get him out of my head.. So.. I'm moving back to the states.
The guys got all my stuff from Niall's house and got it all boxed up, ready to be shipped to the states. I packed up my two suitcases full of clothes and gave Emma and Jamie the stuff I didn't want.
We all agreed on not telling Niall I was leaving. It'd be better for the both of us. So here we all stood in the airport.. Not one dry eye.
I went around and started giving out hugs. People say I give the best hugs.. Haha. I started with Jamie.
"I'm gonna miss you!" Jamie said crying into my shoulder as we hugged.
"I'll miss you too. We'll talk all the time, I'll come visit too."
I hugged Emma and we started laughing for no reason.
"Same for you. We'll talk all the time." I said and Emma nodded crying.
I pulled Emma and Jamie into a group hug. "Thanks for being my best friends. I love you guys.."
"We love you too!"
We all cried harder and I moved onto the guys.
"Take care of Emma, Haz." I said smiling at him.
"I will, love." Harry replied hugging me back.
I hugged Liam and told him to take care of Jamie. Next was Louis. I hugged him and he hugged me even tighter.
"I'm going to just randomly send you a bunch of carrots." I said chuckling knowing that he doesn't like when people send him carrots.
"It's okay as long as there from you." Louis said chuckling.
Last was Zayn.. I hugged him extra tight and saw he was crying.
"Bye Zayn.. I love you big bro."
"Love you too little sis."
I handed Zayn an envelope with a letter I wrote in it.
"Give it to him when the time is right.. Okay?" I whispered.
I stood in front of them and saw all their sad teary faces.. This made me cry harder.
"Promise you guys won't forget about me?" I asked sadly.
"Never.." They all replied taking me into a big group hug.
I started walking towards the gate. I turned around and waved and Emma was in Harry's arms crying and Jamie was in Liam's.
I wiped my tears and got on the plane. U.S.A. Here I come.. Again.
The guys said they had to tell me something and they'd be right over. I haven't left my house once.. Barely even leave my room. I've tried so hard to get her to listen to me.. But I stopped trying. She's not gonna take me back. I lost my whole world. She got all of her stuff out of my house.. Maybe she got her own place. Maybe she moved back in with Emma and Jamie. I don't know..
The guys walked in my room and sat down on the bed. I looked at them and sighed. This isn't gonna be good.
"Niall.. I know you're gonna be upset. But just know that it was for the best.." Zayn said running my shoulder.
"What is it.." I whispered barely audible.
"Autumn.. She moved back to the states."
"She-she what?" I asked in shock.
"You guys didn't tell me!?" I yelled full of anger.
"I told you it was for the best.." Zayn replied.
"Whats the best!? Me not ever seeing her again!?" I yelled. "That night was an accident! The girl came onto me! I pulled away I never kissed back!" I yelled.
"Why didn't you tell her that!?" Louis yelled.
"Do you think I didn't try to!? Ugh! Oh my god.. I'm never gonna get her back."
"Here Niall. She wrote you a letter.. We'll let you read it alone." Zayn said handing me an envelope. They walked out and I opened the envelope and started reading the letter.
I listened to your voicemail.. You said you loved me. But do people who love each other hurt the other person? No. I thought you did.. Everyone told me they could see the love In our eyes and I could feel sparks whenever we touched.. But people fall out of love.. And it must've happened with you. But not with me.. I was in too deep. I remember the first time I saw you when I moved to Ireland.. I instantly knew I liked you. You just had something about you that I loved that nobody else had. Then you left for x-factor and made it to 3rd place. (Which I'm extremely proud of you). I didn't hear from you in years.. I tried to forget about you but I couldn't. Then you came back into my life.. Right when I almost had you completely out of it. I fell for you all over again. I guess I'm the one leaving this time.. But it's for the best. I'll always love you.. No matter what. I'll love you until stars fall from the sky and I'll love you till the day I die and long after. I promise. I hope your music career gets even bigger if that's possible. Haha. I hope you find your princess.. But you'll always be my prince and my first love. Whoever she is she needs to know how lucky she is.. Just don't screw it up with her.:) I love you, Nialler. -Autumn. <3
After reading this I completely lost it. I cried harder than I have ever In my life. She doesn't think I love her.. I need to prove to her I do! She's my everything. The guys had to come In and calm me down. I've got an idea.