Finally, after walking along in the crowded streets, we arrived at her door step. I waited as she unlocked her door and let us in, immediately falling on to the old, ragged couch. I sat down next to her, thoughts rushing through my mind, trying to understand them. We decided to watch a bit of T.V till we get tired and decide to go to bed, so we did. We watched old cartoons, and new ones. We filled the room with the voices of the cast of Friends, and skins; watching anything that could possibly entertain us, but it didn't. How could someone be entertained knowing this? Knowing that there is a kid who can't sleep at night because of the memories that haunt him.
Growing anxious because of my disorganized, and unanswered thoughts, I started to tap my foot, and bite my nails, trying to sooth myself. Destiny soon caught on,"You good?" she asked perched up on her elbow, laying on the floor. "Yeah, yeah I'm okay." I answered but it wash't, nothing was. It's not okay that there are people out there that are able to ruin someones innocence like that. It's not okay that Beth has to raise a kid all by her self, and it's not okay that I was so quick to judge, and grow angry at a child when I hadn't known anything about him. Nothing's okay, nothing is.
My head was now pounding, eyes threatening to pour out salty tears, I began to mess with my hair, and take deep breaths. Destiny gave me an odd look, "Harry you wanna go to bed? You don't look so well," She asked, concerned. "Maybe that would be good, yeah, yeah lets go to bed." She led me down the hall to her room, "So you got the bed, I'll sleep on the couch," she said motioning out the door. "No," I quickly stopped her,"No, I mean can you sleep in here, if you don't mind." I asked, she slowly nodded,"Sure I don't mind." She began to add more blankets to the bed and I took this time to get changed in some clothes I could sleep in.
I came back to her sitting in bed, hair up, face washed away of any existing make up. She sat up proud, glasses sitting promptly on her face as she read and highlighted passages of what seemed to be from the bible. I admired her beauty, her confidence; her. Walking slowly over, making my way to the bed, I watched as her features changed, stiffening due to my presence. "Ready for bed?" She spoke, without looking up. "Yeah," I replied and she closed her book, and turned the lamp off, extinguishing the only light source in the room. We laid there in silence, as the seconds passed, I felt myself growing more insane.
"Destiny?" I called out, I heard a hum of her voice, letting me know she was awake. "Why?" I asked, letting in a barely audible voice, cracking in a high pitched snap. "Why the snow falls different each time, or why I'm so amazing?" She joked, unknowing of my seriousness. "No," I flew my body up, arching my back, startling Destiny which caused her to sit up as well,"Why do people have to go through bad things? Innocent people? It's not fair!" I looked at her, now after hours of holding tears back, they flowed down my cheeks like a rapid river. She looked at me caught off guard, confused and startled. "I-I don't kno-" I took a breath, letting a whimper out,"No! Don't say that! Don't say you don't know! Please don't, tell me why Tom had to go through those things! Tell me why a boys innocents had to be taken away so young. Tell me why it's okay for no one to care if he has another sleepless night again.
"Tell my why no one is willing to help a single mother, tell me why Destiny! Tell me why everyones so quick to hate, and to judge, tell me why I am Destiny! It's just not fucking fair how a kid like him will never be the same, he shouldn't have gone through that!"I scream at her, tears now burning the thin layers of skin on my cheeks. Gasping for anything to fill my lungs, to fill this void that is making a home in my chest. I waited for an answer, any kind, but there was none. She grabbed onto me, holding me close, cooing, calming my beating heart. She held me, she the big spoon, and I the little. She protected me from the cold that whipped around the room, giving my the warmth of her heart, and body. I felt tear drops fall onto my head, I felt as they soaked a spot in my curls. They kissed my head, giving me hope, like a single lasting daisy in a field of weeds.
She pulled my in so close, she pulled my in tight. So tight I felt her heart beat against the back of my spin. My heart began to beat to the same rhythm as hers and I felt like although no words where spoken, all my questions where answered. Like all the stress, and worries have been taken off of my.
No, no this is wrong, this isn't right. I feel the weight of his world clenching onto my heart like a thirsty child, but i have nothing to drink, I have not enough knowledge to tell him what he wants to hear. I don't think I can take the weight of helping him, I can't. I cry the tears of sorrow into his hair. He was suppose to hold me as I cry myself to sleep. Out of all those years, never have I thought he would have problems, that he would need help. I'm a sick person, a selfish sick person. I needed to help him, unknowing how, or what to say I don't speak, I stay silent. I listen to the cries of his voice fill the room.
This is the moment as to which I realized that, that, was not Harry; this is. Caring, loving, vulnerable to the world.