suicidal silence is golden

Danielle, 17 years old. Meets kellin. Kellin Quinn. What will happen? (Not romantic) Triggering content to suicidal/self harmers/ and or anorexic people. Please tell me what you think

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4. third entry

So you want the details huh? Every detail? Here it is. 

I got to school at 7:30am. 30 minutes before my first class which is music. Our school is rich so we have recording studios and tons of instruments. One of our assignments is to record and edit a CD. It could be vocal or instrumental. I chose vocal. Sounds fun right? Here's the catch. The dreaded partnerships. I don't mind them actually. I never get picked so I always work alone. I like it that way. No teasing or mean names when I'm alone with myself and my music. But someone did pick me today. His name is Joe. I like him but he hates me. I don't understand why he picked me. He is popular. I always liked him because he wore hoodies all the time like me. But he probably wore them as a fashion thing not to cover scars. Everyone likes him. I got stared down by ten girls and I almost had a panic attack. I had to keep pulling my sleeves down. I thought they would find out. we finally picked a studio and got to work. Joe recorded while I sang. I sang Roger rabbit by sleeping with sirens. Joe would cue in every now and then to tell me it was going good. After we finished the CD we sat in the recording studio and talked. He scared me, in a good way I guess. Here's what he said. I'll show you my scars if you show me yours and he took off his hoodie to reveal the scars of his arms. I was shocked. I stuttered. 'I don't know what your talking about' while staring at the floor. He gently grabbed my arms and

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

pulled up my sleeves. 'Yes you do' was all he said. 'How did you know?' I

said almost crying. 'You came to one of our concerts and I saw them.' 

Now there's where I got confused. Joe wasn't in a band. And if he was it wasn't my kind of music. He told me to meet him after schools

 And we can walk to his house. I agreed. See mystery person. I don't mind if you spread my secret. Here's the rest. Joe and I walked to his house in silence. I was terrified. What was going to happen? Was he going to take me there and have me trust him only to hurt me even more? We slowly approached a huge house. I mean like huge. And he walks up to the security cams and says free tacos are the way to go. Possibly a security password? The door clicked and we walked in. He leads me to a room with in add on bathroom and tells me to make myself comfertable and that he would be out in a minute. I wait for him to close the bathroom door and I walk around admiring the room. He has tons of cool shit. A signed Andy biersack poster 'good luck with your dreams hope you make it, Andy' wow. I would literally kill for that. He has a TON of music. All the albums of sleeping with sirens , bring me the horizon, Pierce the veil... pictures of kellin Quinn and Vic standing together making silly faces... wow. Nice. 

He also had other things. He had a small black writing desk in the corner of the room. On it were blades. Tons of them. I had a couple that looked alike and I walked to the desk almost in tears reminding myself I hadn'tpunished myself today. I will when I get home. 

I touched one of them and almost cried. The door of the bathroom swung open but not forcefully. And out walked kellin Quinn. My brain didn't even process it. I just looked at him. 'Hi-i' I stuttered. He smiled 'hi'

I didn't want him to know I was touching his blades so I just put the one I had picked up in my pocket. 'So kellin. Why do you go to school? Your famous and everyone likes you why go through the torture again?' He didn't answer for a while just stared at me. Eventually he answered 'I don't want the fame all the time. Schools a break from the screaming fans and nasty haters. Its also a break from fake friends.' I just nodded. 'I would rather have fake friends then no friends at all' I whispered. He walked up to me and hugged me. I froze. I can't stand people touchingme. 'Kellin?' I said my voice muffled into his shirt. 'Yeah?' He said looking at me. 'I don't like hugs' I said hoping he wouldn't think I was a weirdo. He doesn't know that I was molested. He doesn't need to know that. 'I'm sorry Danielle.' 'Its OK' he smiled. " OK so I have something I want to do." I looked at him and just said "OK. What's that?" He walked up to me and unzipped my hoodie. He took it off carefully making sure not to hurt me. Then he walked to the couch and sat down and patted the seat next to him to tell me to sit down. I look at my arms and try covering them up. I hate short sleeves.

"Danielle just come here." I nodded and walked over and sat down still trying to cover my scars.

He started singing to me.

"I kissed the scars on her skin. I still ink Ur beautiful and I don't ever want to loose my best friend." By now I'm crying and shaking because he knows that I'm sick and twisted and horrible. 

"Danielle?" He looks at me. "I want to show you something." He gets up and walks to his laptop in the opposite corner of the desk. He opens it and starts typing. After a while he frowns. "Shit" he muttered under his breath. "What is it?" I asked worried. "Nooottthhhiinnnggg its fine I'm OK" he said smiling nefvously .

I get up and walk over to him. I slowly pick up his laptop and see what's wrong. On his laptop he was on Facebook. A picture of him taking of his hoodie and me looking at him was on there captioned 'dirty danny gets some in music class.' I look at him then back at the screen. "Shit" I muttered. I asked him if I could get on my Facebook real quick and he nodded. I log of his and log on mine. I check my notifications. 'Whore' 'slut' 'wow getting some aren't you?' 'Really? I knew you were nasty but is is ridiculous.' And then I see something that scares me. My moms comment 'Danielle. You are no longer my daughter. When you come home get your things and leave. Your a disgrace and I don't love you. You were a mistake. Have fun. Ex mom.' I gave him back the laptop curled up in a ball and cried and cried. Kellin walked over to me and sat down next to me. "Danielle you can stay with me

 

 

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