If it happens, a person something bad will repeat it in the mind of that person several times, each time the person closes his eyes . Now that you know this, what do you think happens when the person in connection with the accident , lost their eyesight? I wish I didn't knew the answer , especially today. Every time I wake up, go to sleep or keep my eyelids open so I can see everything that happened to the last detail , for they were the last thing I saw. I remember things and remember how someone or something looks, I can paint a picture of a person just by feeling the face, but all I see is the accident. I wish the answer would be different but it's not and I can not change it.
With a sigh , I went into the kitchen where Liam and his friends sat and ate breakfast. Today it's been three years sedn accident and I could not stop crying tonight , I could not fall asleep. There was silence when the guys saw me .
'Blaze , why have you been crying ? ' asked Louis. I sighed and ignored his question. All I did was open a cupboard in the kitchen and took out the first bottle I found. I unscrewed the cap and sniffed it. Votka , good. I closed the bottle again and started walking towards my room until I felt Liam's hands grabbed me .
' Blaze what are you doing? ' he asked anxiously. I said of course not and took me away and continued walking to my room and locked the door behind me.
' Call Ryan for me Niall , I'll call mom ' I heard Liam say. He would not get any response by Ryan , but mom would probably explain everything. I unscrewed the cap and took a sip , the liquid burned all the way down to my stomach.
Hours later, my bottle was almost half empty and Ryan , Liam , Niall , Zayn , Harry and Louis had given up to get into this a long time ago. It did not help that they asked me to open and they could not break down the door because I put a lot of stuff for it.
' Blaze , I know it's been 3 years today , but you must accept that you do not going to get it back within a short future. You can not live like this forever ' said Ryan through my door. I took one to sip. I know that I'm drunk and do not remember any of this here tomorrow , I do not even remember what I did all the other years , I only remember that I stole a bottle votka and raised it to my room.
The raindrops rolled down the window and the thick gray air was cold . Dad and I sat alone in the car on the way to my dance class . The radio played Bruno Mars and I hummed with the text. Dad was wearing a blue shirt and smiled at me . All was quiet until I felt the tires let go of the ground. I remember the panic in my father's eyes when he yelled at me to hold on , but it was too late . We were already above the parapet . It felt like an eternity before we hit the highway below us. I remember the pain in my head as I flew through the window and landed on the hard ground and got the car door on me. I remember how the cars slowed and people stood and cried , but I remember nothing more. I remember no more moments , just how everything was heard. I never saw if Dad died , or if he was seriously injured . It was only after all I found out that he had broken both legs and an arm . I do not remember that I've seen color of the sky , just that it stopped raining .
I struck hard against the wall I was leaning against before I took another sip votka . Tears streamed down my cheeks and I wished to god that I would recover my sight .
' Blaze , please open the door. I know I have not been here and helped you before, but I 'm here now ' I heard Liam say through the door.He can not help me, no one can. I took a swig from the bottle , it was the last . With a groan , I stood up and started to move things away from the door. I hope Liam is gone . I opened the door and walked out.
The whole house was quiet so I went down to the kitchen and opened the cupboard again . I took out the first good bottle and was just about to take a sip before I heard someone clear their throats.
' Blaze way down the whiskey bottle ' said Louis voice. I took a sip and ignored him .
' Liam and the others went on an interview and Ryan had to go . ' he said. so that was why it was so quiet . I started to walk past him but felt how he grabbed the whiskey bottle.
' release it ' I said but all that happened was that he snatched it away from me. I stared at the point I thought his head was at .
'Let's go and sit on the couch instead.' he said and led me to the living room , I was too drunk to resist.
' You know, you 've been in your room for 6 hours already since you went in there at 1. Are you not hungry ? ' Louis question made me realize that I was very hungig but I shook my head . I was placed on the couch and felt Louis sat down near me.
' we'll put on a movie ? ' he asked and I shook my head. I knew that I was still crying and when I felt Louis thumbs against my skin as he wiped my tears , I felt weird, in a good way.
'you are really beautiful, did you know that?' he said and i shook my head. Knew I wouldn't remamber any of this tomorrow but i just wanted to feel his face, so i places my hands over his face. He knew what I was doing and he let me do it. His cheek bones were high and His jawline sharp, he had a bit facialhair.
'what eye and hair colour do you have?' I asked with a shaky breath. 'I have blue eyes and brown hair' he replaid and I let my fingers go through his hair. This time he was the one who relised a shaky breath and I knew I would have to stop.
'im tired' i said. Louis laughed a bit bu after a little while he stood up and helped me to my room and without another word he left me with the horrible imagine in my head playng on repeat.