Jeff? I thought gnomes had weird names, not names that my classmates have.
The woods were silent.
Maybe Bill is just screwing with us, trying to get me to stop hating him. Not gonna happen.
"Jeff! It's Bill!"
Girlie almost laughed. Is that the best threat you can come up with? "It's Bill!" Even I can do better. I have done better. I'm seven, and I nearly made you wet your pants with fear.
Bill shot a look at Girlie, and she smiled, daring him to say something. She was just antagonizing him. She just knew how tempted he was to take a stroll through her mind, bringing up horrid memories and ruining great ones. She knew he was itching to know everything she was thinking.
And she prayed he would. As soon as he did, she could shut him out her life forever. She could protect Prez herself from whatever he thought was so very dangerous.
"Just put Gideon down. They'll come out eventually."
They laid Gideon on the ground, when Girlie stepped in a large pile of leaves that were hiding a ditch from view. She was already in a sour mood, and stepping in a ditch didn't help.
"Crap," she exclaimed. "There are too many flippin' leaves out here. I swear I'm gonna bring a leafblower and get rid off them all!"
"No! No leafblowers!" a voice screamed. A little creature with a brown beard and a tall hat stepped out from behind a tree. A gnome. His hands were up in surrender, like the idea of a leafblower was freakier than the fact three people just carried a corpse in the woods and dropped it on the ground like a piping hot bag of microwave popcorn.
Girlie yanked her foot out the ditch and got closer, making the gnome inch back. "I won't hurt you. I didn't mean what I said about the leafblower. I promise. If I had known, I wouldn't have said anything."
The gnome straightened up some and looked Girlie over. He didn't see her as a threat, so he ignored her and turned to Bill Cipher, who was just standing there, amazed by the fact the gnome hadn't gone crazy or something about the whole leafblower thing.
"What are you doing here, Bill? We told you we didn't want you coming around here!"
"I'm everywhere," he responded.
"We're not here to hurt y'all. We have a gift... somewhat."
The gnome finally noticed Gideon, turned back to Girlie, and smiled. "An offering? Guys! Come out!"
The once silent and mostly empty woods were suddenly filled with more gnomes than anyone could count. The first gnome said, "I'm Jeff. That's Carson. Over there is Steve. Andy is hanging from that tree. Mike's on that rock. And Jason is on that other rock. Eh. This will take too long. I'll leave it at that."
"How to you even tell each other apart?" Prez asked.
"We wonder the same about you humans," Mike or Jason replied.
One gnome with wall-eyes tugged on Girlie's shirt. "Shmebulock."
"They're so cute!" Girlie said with delight. Bill elbowed her and shook his head, saying "Don't say that," non-verbally. In return, he received a glare from Girlie.
"We'll leave you to whatever you do."
Bill, Prez, and Girlie left the woods just as the gnomes crowded around Gideon. Girlie pushed away the image of him and decided that the rest of her Spring Break wasn't going to be as odd.
No more murder or hiding bodies or Bill. This will be normal from here on out.
Girlie forgot one thing though: In Gravity Falls, normal is not normal.