I feel like I am dying without Luke and it has only been two weeks. We talk everyday and he told me that it is humongous and the guys are really cool. He said that one of the boys horse got hurt going around a barrel so he got to borrow their horse that they were keeping in the barn. So that was really nice of them. I told him that I can barely stand being without him.
I woke up early one morning and took a ride through the field and practiced my barrel racing. I am getting pretty good at it. I have only fell once so that is good. Every time I ride though I think about Luke. About how his ocean blue eyes are, how his great brown hair is, how his tan skin looks, and how he talks. I literally couldn't get him off my mind. It's not like I don't like him but I am feeling sadder and sadder as the days go by.
One night I threw up everywhere all over my clothes and bed. I dreamt Luke had an accident doing barrel racing, and he died. So as soon as I cleaned up I texted him and said, "Hey babe sorry I am texting you this late but I just want to make sure you are ok."
He replied and said, "Yeah babe, are you ok?"
"I am now, that I know that you are ok."
"Ok good I am going to bed night love you never forget that."
"Love you too babe, can't wait to see my baby girl again."
Then I finally went to sleep knowing that we was ok. I couldn't believe that I thought that dream was real. I was actually really freaking out. Then I thought you know I will be alone for some time this summer so I will just have to get used to it. But I really am alone and I really don't know how I am going to do it sometimes.
I woke up in the morning and went downstairs into the kitchen. Mom said, "Good morning sweetie how was your sleep last night?"
"Well it was good until about one this morning I woke up and had a dream that Luke had a barrel racing accident and died, and threw up all over my clothes and bed. So I texted Luke to make sure that he was ok, and changed my clothes, and the bed sheets and everything is by the door."
Mom came to me and hugged me and said, "Oh baby I am so sorry you should have woke me up, and told me."