3 days. 3 days without here and it was killing me. I haven't eaten at all and I've barely slept, all I've been doing is crying and thinking. I made a decision I'll go over to Louis's and try to talk to her. I don't even know if I should go over there. It might make everything harder and more complicated than is should be. Fuck things are already complicated. Why am I such a fuck up. My heart falls for a girl that is perfect but I just had to fuck it up. I've been waiting for my princess but it turns out that it isn't her, it could be but I doubt she will ever take me back. Maybe I should give her some space. Yeah thats what I'll do, I'll give her some space and at least try to be friends with her. Maybe everything would be better if I did. She has had a hard life. Her parents dieing, her boyfriend cheating on her, ending up in the hospital, and now she gets heartbroken by me. I know that giving her space would be right but for now I just want to talk to Louis, if I don't clear things up with him than he might kill me for hurting her.
I rang the doorbell and almost immediantly Louis opend the door in just his boxers. That seems a little odd to see, especially since Haley is here.
"Umm Louis can I talk to you?" I asked not being able to get over the fact that he was here almost naked with her. Were they about to do something? No no he wouldn't do that to me, no matter how much he likes her.
"Yeah come in." He said with a death glare. I sat down on the couch waiting for him to sit down next to me.
"Okay lets clear something up, I know that I was being a weird boyfriend. I didn't meant to break her and I know she broke up with me but when she walked away I couldn't help but see how broke she looked and that broke me even more. She sang to me to break up with me but you wouldn't understand. I just never wanted to hurt her, I fucked up I know but I just want her back and I was wondering if she was here so I could talk to her." I rambled on as he listened closely. He seemed to be in to what I was saying but his face said that he didn't give a damn. I wouldn't blame him, I broke her and he likes her so yeah I just wouldn't forgive me either. I don't know why I'm even trying maybe its because she's my world.
"She's not here, I don't know where shes at." He said with a straight face. Where could she be? Liam's? No they're not that close. Zayn? No they're not close either. Harry's? Yes she's at Harry's I know she is. They're like best friends.
"Okay well I'll just go then." I said and ran to my car driving to Harry's flat.
"Coming hold on." I hear Harry sat from the other side. He swung the door open and shocked was an understatement for what he looked like. I just couldn't describe it. "What are you doing here?" He asked completely confused as to why I was here. I couldn't blame him. If a girl broke up with him and he just showed up at my flat right after, I would be confused or maybe more worried. I don't know but it wouldn't be a good sign. As for me it is a good sign, I just want, at the least, closure.
"I was came here to talk to Haley, now move. Please." I said while trying to move past him. My plan failed when he moved in front of me blocking any entrance that I could have.
"No she doesn't want to see you. Now please just go." I gave him a glare not believing what he was saying. All I wanted was closure and he's saying no, I know her better than them.
"Let. Me. Talk. To. Her." I said through gritted teeth. My attempt at trying to move past him failed again.
"NO I'M NOT LETTING YOU IN!" My eyes widened. Did he seriously just completely reject me coming in.
"Niall?" That voice. I looked up and she was standing behind him but different. She wasn't her usual self. She was skinnier, paler, her eyes were bloodshot, and she looked...broken. I couldn't help but feel like it was my fault. Fuck, I know its my fault. She's broken and hurting because of me.
"It'll be okay. Lets just go out and socialize." I shook my head no declining Harry's offer. I didn't want to go out, I didn't want to face the world, I didn't want to see other people happy when I'm here broken.
A groan left Harry's mouth. He didn't want to be bothered by people right now and I knew that.
"Coming hold on." He said after realizing they weren't going to stop until they got what they wanted. I laid back and groaned. People have been bothering me the past few days. Louis won't stop texting me asking where I'm at, Sarah has been asking whats wrong, and Harry won't stop trying to get me to go outside. I've said 4 words in the past three days. When I left The Stage I was planning on going back to Louis's but I never made it, I couldn't go there and just cry to him. So instead I came to Harry's and I haven't left since. A muffled voice came from the door but I couldn't make out what they were saying.That is until I heard him yell.
"NO I'M NOT LETTING YOU IN!" Harry that was defiantly Harry and he was pissed. I got up and walked to the door to see what was going on. That is until I saw him, he looked so broken and I did that. It came out before I could even think.
"Niall?" His head bolted up and he looked shocked. He seemed to be studying me just as I was a minute ago.
"Haley?" He pushed Harry aside and walked right up to me. "You look different." He noticed I knew he would. Of course I've eaten one thing in 3 days and it was a granola bar. I just shook my head not speaking. Quickly I left his presence and walked to this couch, Harry leaving the room and Niall following me. "Are you okay?" I shook my head no.
He groaned and made me look at him. "Look, I know I fucked up. It was something that I shouldn't have done. I was protective and was acting like you were my property. You'll probably never forgive me. I wouldn't if I were you and that probably doesn't help me but yeah." The tears came. They poured out of my eyes and they wouldn't stop. I felt his arm wrap around me and I wiggled out of it. Running into Harry's room I sat next to him. He was always so comforting.
"What did he do?" Of course I didn't answer. Why would I? He got up and walked out of the room. "WHAT DID YOU DO?!?" Oh god he was yelling.
"NOTHING SHE JUST STARTED CRYING!"
"GET THE HELL OUT!" Bam! There goes the door. I'm just making everything worse aren't I? What if I didn't make it when I jumped? What if I died? What if I never accept to move here? What if my parents never died? What if my life wasn't so god damn complicated? What if I tried to kill myself again? It seems like a reasonable answer. I'm a burden on Harry, Niall's broken because of me, I'm ruining Louis, Harry and Niall's relationship. I looked around to make sure Harry wasn't coming into the room.
Quickly I ran to the bathroom and locked the door scavenging through the cabinet. Come on he has to have something. Aha, here it is. The perfect thing. The door handle started to jiggle and I immediately panicked.
"Haley? Are you okay?" Shit shit shit. He's asking questions! I hate fucking questions.
"Yeah I'm fine." Hopefully he bought that. I mean my voice was shaky but it has been for 3 days now.
"Okay just let me in really quick. I need to brush my teeth."
"Okay hold on." I need to do this fast. I grabbed the bottle and to my luck it fell on the floor along with like 4 other bottles. Okay as long as he didn't suspect anything I should be good.
"Haley, what was that?" I didn't answer instead I just continued picking up the bottles. "Haley open up." Still not answering. "Haley open this god damn door."
"Harry just go away." Great now I'm crying. Bam! The door broke down and Harry was standing there with his Harry sticking to his head. His eyes widened in shock at the sight in front of him. I was standing there with a handle full of pills ready to swallow them. He ran over to me and threw them out of my hand.
"I'm a burden to you and I'm tearing about your guys friendship. No one loves me. I don't deserve to be here. My family left so why can't I?"
"Don't say that. We all love you, even Niall. He still loves you, Louis loves you, Zayn loves you, Liam loves you, Sarah loves you and I love you. Please tell me again that no one loves you. Now come here." His arms were open wide like they've always been. I quickly ran into them liking how at home they felt. "Now promise me you won't ever attempt or do suicide again?"