Chapter 13: Revelation
It had been a little under a month since Luke and I had gotten into the fight. It was the beginning of April and we were all now back in London and they were playing a series of shows in the O2 Arena again. Tour had gotten tiring. All the boys and the crew were exhausted every night and we didn’t have much time for goofing around. Days of shows consisted of rehearsing, eating and then playing the show. Days off consisted of sleeping. I had skipped out on a couple of the shows that were in London just because there were still a couple months of the tour and I didn’t want to get tired of hearing the show. On those days I would hang out at the 5SOS house so I wasn’t stuck in a hotel. And even some days where there were no shows, I was at their house. The company of the three boys overshadowed the emptiness of Luke’s absence.
The off day at the end of the O2 Arena stretch before we headed to Newcastle, Ashton and I were watching TV from the couch. We had been there all day, with little talking and a whole lot of rest. During a commercial break Ashton looked at me. I looked back and smiled, then turned my attention back to the TV. But I could still feel his eyes on me. I looked back at the TV and he was still staring at me.
“What?” I questioned him. “Do I have something on my face?” I asked quickly.
He laughed and then shook his head.
“Well then why are you staring at me?” I asked him.
“Do you have plans tonight?” He said, taking me aback.
“Uhh if you count eating ice cream in my hotel room plans, then yes. Why?” I asked him, knowing where this was going.
“What if we went and ate ice cream together? But at like an ice cream shop, after a movie?” he said slowly.
I felt my cheeks flush. He just asked me on a date. This proved my suspicions about his feelings. I hadn’t been completely positive until this moment. Just then I felt my thoughts jump to Luke. Would he approve? He had gotten mad when he saw me dancing with Ashton. I didn’t want to make things--- what? What was I thinking? I didn’t care what Luke thought. I could go on dates with who ever I wanted.
I looked back at Ashton who gave me a nervous half smile, while trying to avoid eye contact. He looked nervous. He was seriously so cute.
I flashed him a smile. “What time should I be ready?” I asked. His face lit up.
“Umm lets say like 7ish? You can pick the movie!” he said excitedly.
“Okay sounds good. I need to go back to my hotel so I can shower and not look like this. Do you want to meet me in the lobby at 7?” I asked him.
“That sounds perfect. I need to go shower also. But for the record, you would look beautiful if you went exactly how you are now.” He flashed another smile at me and I felt butterflies in my stomach at his compliment. He suddenly got up and held out his hand to pull me up. I took it. Once standing, he walked me to the door.
“See you in a little while!” he said with his famous dimpled grin.
I walked the usual way back to the hotel feeling excited. But a part of me felt a little bit guilty. Luke popped into my brain again. What did he mean “Why Ashton?” I don’t understand. Why is he letting my life affect his? Isn’t that exactly what he didn’t want? He was acting like a jealous ex boyfriend. I never cared who he went on dates with.
Suddenly I stopped walking. I had cared. I thought back to the pool. That was the whole reason Luke and I had stopped being friends. I had ruined a potential date. But I couldn’t help myself. I was so sick of watching him go on dates with girls that didn’t know or deserve him. It’s only because he was my best friend and I wanted him to be with the right person…right?
I started walking again. Ugh this was so confusing. Why had it bothered me so much back then who he dated? Did I like Luke….? Eww no…he was just Luke. My best friend who was smart, sweet, clever, driven, funny, cute…oh my gosh. I was such an idiot. I did like Luke. All that time I had wondered what made me be so stupid to try and protect him. I had just thought that I was being a good friend.
Well it was safe to say that I don’t anymore, after all that he’s put me through. Not to mention he was being a complete ass about the whole Ashton thing. Well wait a minute. He’s kinda acting like I did at the pool…does that mean he likes me…as more than a friend? I stopped walking for a minute to think about it.
He never acted like it. He had always just treated me like a best friend. Someone to share everything with. There was no way that he had liked me. Why would he have left me alone if he liked me? Why wouldn't he have just told me?
I had reached my hotel by the time that my brain had processed through all of this. I was now more confused than ever and had a ginormous headache.
I had thought this whole thing over, and over and over again while I showered, got dressed and did my hair and makeup. (Outfit: pink jeans, white flowy tank top, black leather jacket, combat boots. Hair: pin straight with a black knit cap). Once I was finished, I had reached a conclusion.
Luke didn’t like me. That doesn’t make any sense. Why would he stop talking to me if he liked me? About the whole Ashton thing, he was just trying to protect him. He didn't want me hurting Ashton like I had hurt him. Realizing this kind of made me mad. My relationships were no concern of Luke’s and I wasn’t going to let him bother me.
I looked at the clock. 7:02. Oops I’m late. I took one last look in the mirror, grabbed my purse and headed down to the lobby. No more thinking about Luke. Time to focus on my hot drummer that was waiting for me downstairs. It was gonna be a good night I thought with a smile.