Julien & Madeline
My name is Madeline, however, if you didn't know that already you must live under a rock or something. I mean, why am I even saying this. As far as I know, everybody in the world knows my name. However, if you don't know me, which I doubt is the case, a brief introduction of myself. For starters,I have blue eyes and straight brown hair. You may have seen me in a few magazines. Yeah, I'm that girl, the model with the horrible ex-boyfriend who the last time I saw him was last spring. Everybody pretty much knows about the new me. However, what most people in general don't know, is that I used to be a blonde with bouncing curls and green eyes. I'll say this, it's not a very good pair in my opinion. Well, at least not on me. I wasn't one of the smartest people either; however, that doesn't matter anymore because I can't help the fact my persona is changed. It's just the way it is. So, on to why I am writing this. Honestly, I don't know yet but I am going to try to be successful and see it through none-the-less. I think that if this piece ever gets published people will have questions about what happened between Julien and I so I suppose I will start there.
Ok, so my childhood was decent. I never really was too smart or too dumb and I had just the right amount of friends. I was your average teenager. Problem was, some things happened that completely derailed the original course of my life. The story of when I met Julien started like this:
So I had studied really, really hard for my SAT's. I was even ready and prepared as I had taken them. I was one of those kids who had the classic study group and went to bed early on the day before the test. I was just like every other kid. What could possibly be wrong with that? However, the scores I got back indicated something else. I hadn't failed per-say, but I got bad enough scores that they would not be acceptable for any decent college. I feel so bad for myself now. The day I got the letter, I was so excited that I was practically leaping for the mailbox every day the mail truck came by. When I had first opened up my envelope my heart had shrunk a few sizes and tears came immediately to my eyes. I decided to do something that I normally did under stress, I ran. My parents of course had known I was going to be back eventually. I just knew that there was no facing it right then and there.
I jogged throughout the community. I lived in the classic kind of American dream suburb. The weather wasn't too muggy. I lived in the south eastern part of the United States when I grew up. It was nice there, the people were friendly and would wave and smile at each other. The beautiful art of barbecuing was always happening in someone's yard every day. The people were always so happy there. I ran throughout my entire subdivision, crying with my eyes all red and puffy, until I ran into some brown haired twerp boy. We accidentally head-butted once our bodies met and fell to the ground on our butts in the grass because of it. I looked down at the grass for a moment and then up to see if I bumped into one of my friends. At that moment, I saw his cerulean eyes. Oh how they glistened in the sunset environment the neighborhood now was. He was new around the block, I could most certainly tell. Typically, you knew when people were new to the south. The stranger got up and his t-shirt went with him. He had unbelievable abs. Now granted, I didn't fall in love with him at that moment or anything, not even close. In fact, I thought he was a prick for knocking me over and not apologizing sooner.
"What was that for prick-head?" I asked in fury, getting mad at the fact he hadn't said sorry yet.
"My name Julien for starters, by chance,"he returned to me slightly sarcastically.
I became furious. The fact that someone had the nerve to say that to me like that was already infuriating. Add that to the fact that I was just beginning to enter the anger stage of my grief for the SAT's wasn't helping. Almost out of pure animal nature, I quickly snapped a reply back, "Well, Julien, do I need to give you something to help your blindness or is it just that way with newcomers?"
I quickly began to jog at full speed towards my home. He panted,"How did you know I was a newcomer? Sorry for bumping into you!"
I bared my teeth. Now, he had decided to apologize. At the time, it was way too late for him to correct himself. However, since he did get around to apologize, I decided not to argue it out. I shouted,"Save it for someone else!" Then, I ran off to home.
I met Ryder about a year after Julien and I separated. There were so many things so wrong between Julien and I, but I couldn't shake the feeling of regret on the day I left. I had loved him so much, not that I could help it. I literally loved him enough that I sacrificed part of myself to help him stay alive in a way. The day my path took a new course again, I had been going through one of my episodes.
Episodes were basically and are still moments where I feel extreme pain when I am without Julien. They happen suddenly and stay for a few hours at least. When they begin, I feel the same feeling a person gets when they fall in love with another person. Yes, I feel sparks. However, these sparks continue and become full bread fire that sears throughout my heart, chest, lungs, and pretty much everything else in my body. I sometimes go into seizures at this point and if it happens to me on the street, people get freaked out. It has happened a few times on the street and each time I am sent to the hospital. I once had one happen in the middle of the photo shoot. Unfortunately, it got all over the papers because the photographer had sold all the pictures to the paparazzi. Yeah, my luck always changes when I have episodes. The day I met Ryder was no exception.
I was going to have a get together with my friends from high school on the day I met Ryder. I had gone on a jog that morning by the coast, some things never change. My friends were flying in from California, which was where I used to live. The only reason I invited them is because I needed to have people to think I was not crazy. I liked to be always by myself. I still do. I suppose the only person I hesitated to leave was Julien. I suppose one of the main reasons I have always hated company is that people have always treated me like an asset. To most people, I reek of money. I suppose that is a side-effect of being famous. I have only had one person I thought that didn't care about the money at all, but in the end he became a monster too.
Anyways, after my jog, I had come to my vacation house. I had bought the vacation house because the rainy, cold shores of New York didn't exactly suit my style in the summer. Coming from California, and going through what I did with Julien, I did not like cold weather. It just so happened that one day while I was walking home from the studio, a newspaper was blown around by the wind and landed directly at my feet. It had all sorts of housing advertisements. I decided to take it with me and look at it at home. When home, it had just started to rain. The rain always made me frustrated because I was sick and tired of it. I looked at the newspaper I had picked up. After 30 minutes of searching, I saw an amazing mansion beach house on one of the pages. I called the seller and looked at all the pictures of it. Within the next few hours I bought the house.
I was never reckless with my money, if that is the thought that runs through the mind of anyone. I just tend to trust my intuition. In this case, it happened to be right. I told my modeling company about the new house I bought. Surprisingly, they thought it was a great idea. The proposed that I would spend my summers down there and model tropical products. I was of course expected to come back to New York in the winter and model in the fierce snow, but even though I still in New York I was very joyful about the new deal.
I entered my house. I went to the kitchen and grabbed a pineapple. I loved Hawaiian pineapples. I grabbed a wooden cutting board and a sharp knife. I washed the pineapple and as I was about to slice through it my hand went rigid. I fell to the ground. I pulled myself against the counter and squeezed myself into a tight curl.i kept fighting against going into a full out seizure. I sat for a few hours. The pain receded and I shook as I reached for the phone. I was going to cancel the day. However, when I touched the phone, I lost the pain. I felt numb, but I was good enough to manage the party.
I took my jeep and began to drive. I passed people out and about on the dirt roads. Everyone on the island knew me. It wasn't completely because I was a big part of the community that I was known so well. I mean, most people in the world had always known me. However, I did live on one of the smaller island so it was given that most knew me personally. That's why I always decided that I liked the smaller islands better. The fact stuck true. I drove to the air port. The plane was just leaving. I ran for the gate and made it just in time. For those of you who don't know, the main method of travel from island to island is by plane. We used to have many ferries, however, after we lost the one going in and out of the main island (Hawaii) the price of ferry travel became way to expensive to deal with. Well ferries were never too expensive for me, but I must say that flights have always been much faster and also a bit cheaper. I owned and still currently do, a third house (in addition to New York and Molokai) on the main island so that when I have photo shoots I don't have to spend the money for a hotel.
I walked onto the plane.
"I see we are going to Hawaii as always," said someone behind me.
I turned around to face the vice plane captain. He smiled at me with the most familiar smile of all of Molokai. I knew him very well and knew that he had a thing for me, but I wasn't going to go for him. I hadn't ever liked a guy since Julien had been with me. Julien was always so repulsive to me, but I could never get rid of the feeling that we shared in each other's presence. Julien and I were just like always connected. We would have chatted longer except for the fact the plane was going to take off soon.
My friends were already waiting at the air port for me with my other jeep. We all decided I was going to drive. Lisa, my oldest friend hopped into the car seat next to me. Her blonde hair and green eyes looked good on her, unlike on me. The funny thing was, we first became friends because of the fact we looked so similar. My second friend Rasha hopped into the back seat. She was a fiery red head with blue eyes. Occasionally, one of us would call her bloody Rasha because she happened to have a very fiery personality that suited her hair. Rasha and I became friends because Lisa and I helped her with her abusive boyfriend. She just happened to gain a new spirit from hanging out with us. Lastly, Victoria joined us. Victoria was the more solemn one of us. She was good friends with us, however, it was rare when she spoke. Rasha was the one to reach out to her. I never knew as much about her as the others. She was always more reserved about her past. It appeared that nothing had changed in the amount of time she had not been seen.
Through habit, I glanced at my wrists before we drove off. I had decided to take them to a local carnival. As we were driving I heard the news the girls had to give. Lisa had gotten a job at Aeropostale as a fashion designer. Rasha was going for the mayor of her town. Both were not surprising to me. Lisa had helped me shop and pick out outfits for years. Rasha had just the kind of passion that if she wanted to be president she could probably do it. However, Victoria's news was surprising. She had gotten a scholarship to Harvard and now was engaged. As far as I knew, she had always despised how men were and how they would cheat at you. None of them asked about me, they knew that Julien and I were off limits. I refused to talk about it.
We walked through the park and they picked the roller coaster ride. I remembered the pain of the morning. I began to feel pain creeping through my system as I walked closer to the ride. I knew what I had to do and ditched them silently. I walked towards the Ferris Wheel in a Hail Mary moment to try and at least hide a little before getting seizures. I got in line, hoping that I could board it alone. Unfortunately, I could not get on alone and so someone in line volunteered to ride with me. I nodded even though I couldn't see from the pain. I got in the seat and the pain started to slowly dwindle. I could see again and so I looked to my right to see who I was sitting with. It was a guy. He looked amazing, and surprisingly a lot hotter than Julien. I was interested in him. However, I couldn't be because something felt too perfect about him.
He said,"You know, you should probably at least introduce yourself. Give me your name. I mean, because you are staring"
I didn't want to speak with him because I already imagined what trouble this would have on my senses. I could tell something was off as the pain in my body was diminishing. I felt the warmth of his legs next to me. However, I needed to be polite. I would have to speak.
I indulged, to be polite, and said,"Yeah, I suppose, but I'm pretty sure you already know it."
I hoped that would end the conversation. He knew who I was and that I was a serious deal. But, he scooted closer. His hand was on mine and I could feel his warmth as he teased me with it. I looked down, refusing myself to get pulled into whatever his eyes were.
He laughed and said,"Fine, but do you know my name?"
I didn't know his name. He was not a local. I had no clue. Still looking down I did the best thing possible.
"Alright, you have me beat there, what is it?" I asked.
I still looked at the floor of the carriage. My personal space being ever approached upon. I waited patiently for a response that I knew would be teasing. I knew the more time ticked by, the closer I became to loosing the battle.
He finally said, "Hmmm, I dunno, Mrs. Madeline, I think you have to earn it."
When he said my name I lost the battle. I looked up into his hazel brown eyes. The green was however manifesting over the brown part. They were gorgeous. They were just like Julien's however, they were full of kindness and love.
"How about a smooch from the most famous woman in the world?" He continued right after I looked up into his eyes.
We both laughed at that. I got a grip on myself and bearings again.
"How about no and you tell me your name?" I demanded.
It didn't exactly come out harsh though. It was more like a simple request.
"Alright fine, but only because I can't resist your prettiness. My name is Ryder." He says nicely back.
I felt myself being drawn to him as we sat in silence after that. I knew what I wanted. I scolded myself for being so helpless again. The ride was just about to end. I knew I had to act. I quickly grabbed my wallet and a pen. Inside was a spare piece of paper that I always carried. I scrawled my digits across it. Then, as we were getting off I put my belongings where they belonged.
I said, "Alright Ryder, my personal phone number goes to you, as well as a peck on the cheek. Of course from, the most famous woman in the world."
I stood on my tip toes and gave him a kiss, nobody had made me feel that drawn in a long time. After going our separate ways, I eventually found my girlfriends again. They were all eating cotton candy and so I decided that I needed cotton candy to eat as well. I bought the cotton candy and returned to the group. I smiled and licked it. It was a long time since I allowed myself junk food. As part of the modeling business I became crazy with looking perfect. However, for some reason I ate willingly. The rest of the night commenced for me in a strange feeling of joy and it was almost like the opposite of a seizure.
Looking back, I feel a difference for writing this. I know for sure neither meeting by chance. Julien and I were undoubtedly fated to be together at some time. Ryder, well that is an entirely different story. Both boys were special to me, in very very different ways. Love is a very confusing thing. It always seems different at first. I suppose, it truly is like a box of chocolates. There is always something that you aren't going to like and there will always be things you love. The difference between me and other people is that I don't think I will ever be able to get a new one. The only thing I can hope for now is to survive what comes next in my chapter of love.