As I watched my little brother shovel down his cake I gagged in disgust.
How could he do that? how could he be so carefree?
I finally placed the last of my granola bar into my mouth. As I looked at the empty salad packets and microwave meals my stomach started churning.
Before I could stop myself I was taking the stairs two at a time flinging open the bathroom door and locking it behind me.
I slumped against the cold back of the bath tub. My feet touching the wall.
I heaved myself up so I was slumped over the toilet. As my head was hovering above the basin I shoved two fingers towards the back of my mouth. The rough skin on the tip of my fingers scratching the back of my throat.
I gagged a little before I finally vomited.
Happy with what I achieved I pulled up my shoulders grabbing a small wet towel I cleaned my mouth and the seat of the toilet before flushing away the remainder of my lunch.
I ran a brush through my teeth after swilling it with water. Getting rid of the taste.
I pulled myself into my room,and looked down at my skeletal frame. I needed to hide how small i was. I walked towards my wardrobe, i had mirrored doors on it. I looked at my shallow cheeks and gaunt expression. My skin was a pale white and the black bags under my eyes made my eyes look grey.
I stripped off so i was just in my under garments. My ribs jutted out at such an angle they looked like they would pierce my skin. My legs were small and spindly; about as skinny as my arms. I had no muscle, i was simply skin and bones. But i was still fat, still ugly, still disgusting. I needed to lose some more weight. I opened up my closet door. Grabbing my make up bag from the shelf and a big baggy top with some lose fitting joggers.
I pulled them on and let down my hair. My black hair fell straight down my sides. Making my face even more visable. I re tied my hair so it was in a limp pony.
I appied some foundation onto my face. Making my bags disappear and my face looked brighter, My cheeks were less noticable meaning no body would suspect anything. I then put on some red lipstick to bring out my features more after applying some black eye shadow, eye-liner and mascara.
I grabbed my bag and put in my earbuds, Iphone, Ipod and my make-up into my bag. After putting in my money i grabbed it off of my bag and walked down the stairs, my mum was out and my sister was looking after my little brother.
I went to the music hall down the road. My keyboard was there, I bought it in secret. Hiding it from my family.
My keyboard was the only way I could escape the mess I was in. It made me feel worthy and useful. Like I belong here. Like I may actually be able to do something in life.
My family also don't know about my emotional and mental scarring or my bulimia they didn't need to know did they?
My Keyboard was proudly stood in the middle of the room, around it was the clutter of my music sheets and lyrics. I wrote songs and some with lyrics, and this -my only escape- was the only thing i seemed to be good at.
My fingers traced over the keys, only pressing lightly so faint notes were played. I then started playing fully, letting my voice get carried away by the beautiful notes that came from the keyboard below, hanging in the air until a different note broke the sound.
After i stopped i smiled widly to myself, adding on a few notes to my now finished song. A figure at the door pulled me out of my trance. His messy brown locks were pushed up into a quiff, he had a slight bit of stubble and those adorable brown eyes were stuck in my head. After about 5 minutes we stopped staring at eachother and he cleared his throat.
He stepped further into the room, S'cuse me? What does he think he is doing?His hands trail over the keyboard. Oh no! Oh hell to the no! You don't just touch my keyboard like that.
His fingers trace over the high notes at the end of the keyboard, pressing down on the highest note. Soon a melody filled the air. It was like nothing i had ever heard before. Wow. This dude was powerful.
"Nice keyboard." He chuckled when he stopped playing.
"Urm... yeah." Who was he and who the hell does he think he is touching my keyboard. Playing a song that reached out to me. This dude needed a friendly hug, with a hungry Lion :)
"Not one for talking then, eh?" He asked and sat down on the stool in front of my keyboard, only inches away from me.
"Ever heard of personal space?" I say barely audible. He must of heard me because a soft chuckle escaped his lips.
"Sorry. My names Liam, Liam Payne." he said in the tone of voice where you should've instantly recognized them.
"Sorry laddo. No idea." I spoke back. Shit! That makes no sense. I mentally slapped myself at my stupidity as i looked away and down at the floor.
"I'm from One Direction."