"Waa waa" I woke up to crying I took a quick look up at Harry to see he was moving his head .
" deal with it" he mumbled I sighed I stood out of bed sliding my feet into my fluffly dog slippers and made my way to the room down the hall I put my hand on the knob and turned it opening the door I walked through and looked at the cot that was neatly placed In the corner of the room I walked up to it and saw Lou moving around crying I took the blankets of of him and his eyes opened to reveal his emerald green eyes I gently picked him up and rocked him in my arms , I walked over to the rocking chair next to the cot and sat down I yawned loudly I don't blame myself though cause Its been two months since I got out of the hospital andHarry's been ruder then ever cause every night when Lou will cry Harry will make me go , every time Lou cried in the morning he would make me go be cause he needs sleep well fuck him right now if any one needs sleep its me everyday I have bloodshot eyes and bags under them because of having to stay up most of the night to look after Lou I'm stressed, tired, annoyed , angry I'm just a big ball of emotions . I sighed slightly rocking in the chair .
" I wish I was in your place you don't have to worry about anything " I whispered to Lou a tear slid down my cheek not cause I'm stressed but because me and Harry have been fighting a lot in the past month and it always turns into me crying and locking myself in our room so Harry would have to sleep on the couch and I'm scared another tear slipped my eye.
" I don't think we're going to make it baby " I sobbed I looked down at my left hand seeing the two rings placed on my ring finger my engagement ring and wedding ring and yes me and Harry did get married it happened a month ago and I would love to say we're a happy couple but were not we never hug , we never kiss, we rarely talk unless we're fighting so basically we'er no where near happy I looked back at Lou to see he was asleep I smiled and placed him back in his crib and walked downstairs into the kitchen and saw the boys there i smiled greeting them and sat down .
" waa waa" I groaned .
" get it would ya " Harry asked I looked at him in rage I stood out of me seat .
" WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU . YOU'RE ACTING LIKE A JERK " I shouted at him everyone looked taken back .
"HOW AM I BEING A JERK " he shouted back taking a step closer to me .
" SERIOUSLY YOU NEVER HELP WITH LOU YOU ALWAYS MAKE ME DO IT YOU NEVER TOUCH ME IN A WAY THAT A HUSBAND SHOULD TOUCH HIS WIFE YOU NEVER DO ANYTHING AROUND THE HOUSE AND WE ALWAYS FIGHT YOU EVEN CALL YOUR OWN CHILD IT SERIOUSLY WHAT KIND OF MAN DOES THAT " I shouted .
" A HUSBAND THAT DOESN'T WANT TO BE MARRIED " he shouted back I looked at him shocked my lip quivered the boys all took a step in .
" mate you don't mean that " Liam said trying to reason with him he shook his head .
" oh yes I do " he said and thats all it took I bursted out crying and ran up the stairs I ran into our room and grabbed out my suit cases I heard multiple steps coming into the room I walked out of the closet with all my dresses and stuff that was hanged I chucked them all in my bag Harry walked over to me .
" what are you doing " he asked worried .
" I'm leaving" I said calmly they all looked at me in shock .
" what you can't what about Lou what about me what about the boys" Harry asked I turned to look at them mostly Harry .
" I'm taking Lou with me but you will get to see him we will divorce and I don't care about you right now considering you don't care about me and ill still keep in contact with the boys " I said making sure I had all my stuff I zipped my bags and took them downstairs then I jogged back up the stairs into Lou's room to see the boys already there i pack up all the stuff I needed nappys,clothes, shoes and hats to last him five days .
" but I want to see my son" Harry argued I nodded .
" you will ill have him week days and you'll have him weekends " I said .
" but-" I cut him off.
" not buts I'm leaving " I grabbed Lou and walked downstairs I could hear them running after me I quickly grabbed the bags and walk out the door to the car I placed Lou in his seat and put the bags in the back I was about to get in the car when I felt my wrist being pulled I turned to who it was with tears running down my face I saw Liam with tears running down his face all the boys stood behind him with tears trailing down their cheeks except for Harry I took a quick look at the door to see Harry sitting outside on the steps with his knees up and his head in them you could hear his sobs escaping his mouth they echoed down the quiet street it just made it harder for me to leave but not matter how much I didn't want to leave I had to or we'll just keep fighting "please don't g-" I cut Liam off " I-I h-have t-to " I said ripping my arm from his grip I hopped in the car and drove away as soon as we were out the driveway I saw Harry chasing after the car I slightly sped up I was at the end of the street I took a turn and took a quick look at Harry to see him standing at the end of the street I turned back to the rode and let it all out I screamed and sobbed I'm surprised Louis slept through the noises I knew I couldn't leave the city so I drove to my old house that me and vi used to live in except now its just me cause vi moved in with Louis I parked and got all the stuff and Lou out I unlocked the house and took the portable crib into vi's old room and put it up I placed Lou In it and went into my old room I flopped down on the bed dust flew out of it but I don't care I bursted into more tears .
"Why me" I screamed into the pillow .