30. How Far We've Become/ Depression
Hours past me and Justin came back from the restaurant sitting down on the couch watching movies till we fell asleep. The next day I woke up getting up off the couch holding my stomach cause it started hurting I went upstairs took a shower got myself ready brushed my teeth my phone vibrated on twitter seeing beliebers that I followed tweeted me I replied to some looking at my tl and tweeted "Wedding tomorrow can't wait @justinbieber" I logged off and sighed getting a bag of chips going into the living room watching tv turning channels Justin sat beside me kissing on my neck "Morning horny person" I said and he chuckled "Morning tomorrow is a special day" "I know I'm nervous and excited" I said "Yeah same" "So..what about your credit cards" I asked "I don't know" he said taking a deep breath I cut the tv off and turnt towards him. "What's wrong I can feel when something's wrong" I said "It's nothing" he said "Noo tell me I'm here for you and I don't want you upset at something" I said "You trust me" he asked "Of course I do now what's wrong" "I've been taking my mom pills for depression" he said "...And" "I've been taking them for 5 months" "And I didn't know about this why didn't you tell me Justin" "I was scared my life my career everything is just out of order there's a lot of shit going through my life right now and I can't keep my mind straight" he said "Okay babe I understand that but were in this together I don't want to think like this but I don't want you to end up killing yourself was that what you were trying to do" I asked and he grabbed my hand. "My god Justin listen to me the media will always talk the more famous you are the more shit you have to put up with the lies rumors are just stupid don't believe what you always hear TMZ are just a group of people that has no lives and likes to pick on you because of how famous you are I don't want you taking anymore pills because of depression I get that I want to cry sometimes because you're going through it all hey I went through it also you lifted me up when I was down and now it's my turn to lift you up I don't want you thinking crazy just take a deep breath think positive about your daughter your family your fans before you end up making the wrong decisions were in this together and I don't want you to be feeling bad you took a break from your career for a reason to get away from everything paparazzi's are getting on my nerves to I can't even go outside play tennis or something without them flying around the damn house it's annoying I know but you'll get used to it I think you need a vacation by yourself to clear your head and calm down" I said "Noo I'm not taking a vacation our honeymoon is gonna be a vacation" "But-" "No buts I'm not taking a vacation by myself you're crazy" "It'll help you settle down get things straight for a while you need it" I said "Well I don't want to I'll have all the fun I need tomorrow" he said and pecked my lips. "Fine but if you're not smiling and having fun you're gonna have to take one by yourself just relax" I said "When I'm with you I am smiling" "Yeah but sometimes you hide your sadness" I said and he sighed. "Just promise me whatever happens we will always be there for eachother and have eachother back" I said "I promise" he said "Good come on let's go get some wings" "You really love wings" he said "Oh hell yes" I said we left and went to a pizza place eating wings. "We're going out for Chinese tonight I decided for us to have dinner before we get married tomorrow" "Yeah okay but couldn't my parents and your parents come just a family dinner instead of us" he said "Yeah that's fine it'll be nice us all having a dinner" "Yeah" "What's wrong" I asked "Nothing's wrong why do you keep assuming that" "Cause I know something is wrong I know you Justin" I said and he sighed. "I'm just-... I don't know I'm nervous about the wedding and everything else I still can't think straight" "Hey being nervous about the wedding is normal an soon as we go on our honeymoon your mind will be cleared trust me" I said "I hope" he said I wiped my fingers and hugged him. "Everything's gonna be okay I got your back" I said pulling away "Thanks Claire for not giving up on me" "You're welcome I was there at your good and I'm gonna be here for your bad nothing is gonna tear us apart especially when it's over something really stupid" I said and he nodded.