I was supposed to die first

I wasn't supposed to be left without him

It's not supposed to be like this

My best friend John Watson is dead

~Sherlock Holmes


2. 2

"Oh my god! Sherlock?"

Sherlock opened his eyes to see Reign standing over him. Mary was by his side in an instant, kneeling on the pavement and examining his wrapped bloody hand. Sherlock groaned as she touched it. "What did you do?" She asked quickly helping him to his feet.

"I was upset" he groaned, following Mary up the step to 221B.

"Do you have your key?"

"No" he lied, too incoherent to search for it.

Mary rang the door bell and picked up Reign.

"Oh deary have you seen Sherlock?" Mrs Hudson whined as she opened the door. "He hasn't been home all night"

"Don't worry I have him." Mary maneuvered to reveal Sherlock behind her. "Needs a bit of fixing up though"

Mrs Hudson moved aside, letting the three of them into the flat and upstairs while she remained downstairs, minding her own business. Mary set Reign on the couch and brought Sherlock to his room. They sat on the bed as she unwrapped his scarf from his hand. "The hell did you do to yourself?"

"Nothing" Sherlock clenched his teeth together, as Mary was forced to pry the scarf from his partially healed wounded. She rewrapped it with a thin whit bandage after rinsing it with warm water. Mary ordered Sherlock to change out of his wet clothes and into something dry and warm, she went to the kitchen and began making breakfast.

Sherlock sat on his bed shirtless, his head fell into his hands as he let out silent tears. He missed John, Sherlock had never felt this much pain in his life, not even when he had been shot. He felt as though his heart had been ripped out of his chest. He changed into new pants but didn't bother with a shirt.

Sherlock made his way into the kitchen and grabbed the blue cup of coffee Mary had made for him. He brought it with him to the couch as he plopped down beside Reign. Reign stared at him, wondering why he sat with grey sweatpants and no shirt, Reign had always seen Sherlock dressed up, and looking sophisticated, never had she seen him this run down.

"That's enough" Mary took his coffee and set it beside him. She forced him off the couch and back into his room. She shut the door and blocked it, crossing her arms she glared at Sherlock. "There is a not even two year old out there, her father is dead, and you Sherlock, are her role model! Now clean up your act!" Sherlock looked up at her tears filling his eyes. "I'm not moving until you put a shirt on"Sherlock walked to his closet and grabbed out a simple purple dress shirt, he slid off his pants as well and changed into a better pair. He stood up and held out his arms. "That's my boy" Mary smiled and hugged him.

Together they walked back into the kitchen and she continued to work on making his meal. Sherlock walked over and picked up Reign. "When da-da coming?" She asked with a smile.

"Da-da went bye-bye remember?" Sherlock fought to hold himself together.

"No" Reign shook her head.

Sherlock hugged Reign and sat down placing her on his place facing him. "Look at me Reign." He paused. "Your da-da isn't coming back Reign, da-da is gone"

"Where da-da go?"

"Da-da is in heaven" Shelrock pointed above him. "Heaven is a happy place."

"Is heben real?"

"Yes" Sherlock said to her although he didn't believe it. "And da-da is watching, like I said yesterday Reign he's looking after us" he paused. "But he's gonna stay there"

"Why da-da stay?"

Sherlock let a single tear roll down his face. "He has to" he hugged Reign as his break slowly broke.

"Breakfast" Mary called cheerfully, piercing through the veil of sadness. Sherlock carried Reign to the table. There were three plates with scrambled eggs and toast on them. The three of them sat together and began to eat in silence. For a moment Sherlock simply poked the fluff yep yellow eyes with his fork. He wasn't hungry, but he knew John would've forced him to eat it. After all he hadn't eaten in days. He finally took a bite of he eggs. They were warm as they slid down his throat. He hadn't had decent food in quite a long time.

"Besides the hand how was your night?" She asked.

"Wet" he mumbled and coughed slightly. "Yours?"

"Empty" she focused back on her food.

"Unkey Sheryuck I wan pay!" Reign begged as she threw her hands in the air.

"We'll play after you eat." He smiled slightly. His hand began to throb as he finally let himself relax. He could feel the blood flowing in and out of the wound as his body attempted to heal itself.

As Reign finished her food she stumbled into the living room and fell to the floor, playing with Sherlocks skull. Sherlock and Mary remained at the table, slowly chocking down their food. "John would've loved this" Mary smiled. "Us all spending time together."

Sherlock remained focused on his still full plate. Mary's words flew over his head, the only word he caught was John. He held in his pain as he pushed his food away from him like a child and crawled across the floor to Reign.

Mary watched them play, in her mind seeing Sherlock as John. She thought about how good of a father Sherlock would be, collecting his own pain inside to protect Reign. He held a smile on his face while he made up a voice and spoke to her through the skull. Reign laughed and seemed so happy. Mary had the feeling she would be coming here more often.

Her late had and however didn't leave her mind. She constantly thought about how he would want her to act in the situation of his death but she never expected it to happen so soon. Her heart was torn, but for the sake of her daughter she had to hold herself together, she had been through this before, but it hadn't hit her as hard as this had. With John she had been Mary, with John she had tried her best to be good with John she should've have deserved this, not this time.

Mary jumped as she finally noticed Sherlock beside her. "You need to talk." He said, noticing her body posture.

"I'm fine Sherlock." She shrugged. "Just don't know what to do"

"Need to stay here?" Sherlock offered, simply for the protection of Reign. "There's another bedroom upstairs."

"That would be wonderful." After all she would no longer be able to afford her own flat. She flung her arms around Sherlock as he hesitantly hugged her back. "Thank you Sherlock,would you mind watching Reign, just while I run and get what we need."

He nodded and Mary quickly scuttled out of the apartment. Reign reached her arms up, begging for Sherlock to hold her. This he did and paced the flat, rocking her as they walked. Reign slowly drifted off to sleep and Sherlock set her on her fathers chair. He sat in his and folded his hands, keeping himself as collected as he could. "I promise to keep her safe" he cried out to John. "I promise to keep them both safe" and with that he fell into a slump, letting his tears drench his face and hands.

He watched Reign sleep peacefully in Johns chair, wishing for John to be sitting there again like he had before. He wanted to be a team again, he wanted his best friend back. He had gone two years without John, but now had only been a few days and he felt lost, lonely, void. John was his better half, John had been a miracle to Sherlock, he took his life and changed it, causing him happiness, and excitement, but now he was gone, and he wasn't coming back. This wasn't a trick, an illusion, like the one Sherlock had pulled. No, this was real, this was death and John was really gone. Gone from his life and gone from this world.

Sherlock had heard a out the idea of ghosts, of the supernatural, he never believed it. It always had an alternate explanation. But believe it or not Sherlock longed to see the spirit of John. To simply see him again, to hear his voice, to know that he was alright, to be forgiven. Sherlock knew however that it would never happen. He would never see John again, or hear his voice projected through his own mouth, he would never be able to spend another moment with his best friend.

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