Does he know how I feel about him? Does he know the reason I ignore him? Does he know how much my heart breaks when I see him flirt with other girls? No, he doesn’t. He wouldn’t have done these things if he did. I often ask myself why I even like him. What makes him so special from other guys? Why do I find him attractive? Then the answer came running over me like a big wave. It’s because when he looks at me, it feels like we’re the only people in the world. When he talks to me, it feels like his voice was made just for me. When he touches me, it feels like his arms were designed to hold around me. Does he know this? No, he could never know. If he found out, he would abandon me.
The cold wind blew straight through my body and it started shivering. Goosebumps covered my skin and my hair rose up. Owls were talking and crickets were hopping and making weird noises like they do every night.
“What are you doing here in the middle of the night?” A dark voice asked. My body froze and then heat came crushing through my face.
“N-Nothing”, I stuttered and hid my face. I was sitting on a bench and he sat down right next to me on my left side. I could feel our legs touching each other and he was quiet.
“You’re cold? Here”, he said and placed his shirt around me. I looked up at him and he smiled warm towards me. Why is he doing this to me? If he continues doing this, I’ll just fall for him even more. “What are you doing out here?” What was I doing here? I don’t even know myself.
“Thinking, I guess”, I muttered and laid my head in my arms, which was supported by my legs.
“About what?” About you, baka.
“Nothing special”, I lied. I’m not very good at lying but hopefully he won’t see through this one.
We sat in silence for a while but it wasn’t awkward at all. I don’t mind having it silent. I find it quite comfortable actually. His right hand lied on his lap but I’ve noticed it has been moving closer and closer towards me every 5 seconds. I watched it closely and glanced at his face but he looked to be in dreamland. He was completely zooned out of this world. Then his hand met mine and he quickly looked at me. I stared at him for a few seconds, then down at my own lap. I tried to hide my face from my blushing but I couldn’t exactly hide it with my hands. My hands intertwined with each other and I bit my lower lip. Please, don’t stare at me.
“Shiro?” He muttered and came closer and closer. I still didn’t move an inch and I shut my eyes together.
“Y-Yes?” I swallowed hard and breathed heavily.
“Are you still cold?” I shook my head but he still didn’t believe me. It was actually cold. He only sat in a t-shirt since he gave me his shirt. “I am. Will you help me keeping our warmth?” I looked shocked at him with wide eyes. He just smirked at me and opened his arms. I hesitantly moved a little bit closer and awkwardly leaned closer to him. I heard him giggle and pulled me even closer to him and he wrapped his arms around me. My head was leaning against his chest and he was resting his head on top of mine. “You’re warm yet?” I couldn’t move my head so I had to answer, even though I’ve never been this shaky and nervous before my whole life.
“Y-Yeah”. I mentally slapped myself to speak properly. He must’ve noticed I’m nervous.
“Why do you stutter?” He whispered and tightened his grip around me. I swallowed hard again and cleared my throat.
“Nothing. I, eh… I’m… I-I guess I’m just sleepy”, I lied. I’m actually not tired at all. I could feel his warm breath in my neck and it sent shivers down my spine. Any girl would die to be in my position but I’m just so incredibly embarrassed.
“Really? You’re just sleepy?” He repeated after me.
“Mhm”. He lifted up his head and I looked up at him curious.
“I don’t like it when you lie to me”, he started with a serious voice. My eyes widen and I stared at him, unable to say something back. “Since when did you start lying to me? What have I done to you?” I flinched at his words and stared at him amazed. “You’ve been lying to me all night. Why?” I tried to say something but it felt like my throat was too dry to even make a little sound. “Do you hate me?”
“No!” I screamed automatically and his eyes widen up. “Of course I don’t!”
“I could never hate you. Never. You’re my best friend and…” I stopped myself before I said something I’d regret.
“And what?” I moved away from him but he pulled me back. “Don’t go. Please”. My body sat completely still and I wasn’t in a comfortable position anymore. Why is he forcing me to sit like this? Maybe he doesn’t think much about it, but I do! I don’t just want to be in his arms now; I want to be in them forever. I don’t want this to be the last time. I really want him to hold around me like there’s no tomorrow. Just… Never let me go.
“I-I have to go Sasuke”, I said and stood up quickly so he didn’t have time to hold me back. I bend down to pick up my bag on the ground and then I heard him smirk.
“Do you usually wear those? Is it your lucky item or something? I’ve never seen you wear those before”. I jumped up surprised and glared at him embarrassed.
“P-Pervert! Don’t look up my skirt!” I yelled and blushed like crazy. Then out of nowhere, he attacked me with a hug. He was so fast standing up I didn’t even notice him and he squeezed me against his own body. His left hand was on my back, his right hand was behind my head and his face was buried in my right shoulder. “S-Sasuke?” I stuttered, surprised over this happening so fast. He didn’t move, just stood there and held me tight. I could feel the tears that they wanted to come out but I forced them to stay inside. I hesitantly and slowly wrapped my arms around his back and pulled him even closer. My head was resting in between his chest and shoulder. We stood there for what felt like hours without either of us moving or saying a word. It wasn’t even cold anymore, since Sasuke was covering my whole body with his.
“Don’t”, he whispered and I could hear his voice was shaky. “Don’t go. I… Need you”. My eyes quickly shot open but since he was still holding tight around me, I couldn’t move.
“No. Please”. If I didn’t know better, I would’ve thought he was crying. His voice was really shaky and it sounded like he was about to crack in tears anytime. I don’t know why though. If anything happened, he would’ve told me while we sat on the bench. I felt his grip loosen up a bit and I took my chance to push him a bit so our eyes met.
“Sasuke, did something happen?” I asked seriously. I stared into his eyes and they were blank… Too blank. He really was close to cry. “Tell me Sasuke”. I know I have no right to ask him to tell me because I’ve been lying to him all night. It’s not really fair but I don’t want him to be sad. I lie because I don’t want him to know my true feelings.
“I don’t want to lose you”, he whispered, still staring into my eyes. I could feel myself blushing but for some reason, our eyes didn’t break from each other.
“What do you mean? Of course you won’t. I’m not planning to leave for real. I just want to go home to eat and sleep. We’ll see each other tomorrow and many years after that”, I said, trying to cheer him up but he still looked just as sad, possibly sadder. Maybe I’m just making everything worse…
“Do you promise me to never leave me?” He suddenly asked. I looked at him surprised and confused but then I just soften up and gave him a warm smile.
“Yes, I promise”. He pulled me closer for a hug again and he didn’t say anything. I then could feel his breath in my neck and then his lips connected with my skin. “S-Sasuke? What are you d-doing?” I stuttered. Please… “Sasuke, s-stop it”. …stop. I then managed to push him away and he stared at me. “What are you thinking?!” I yelled but he didn’t respond; just kept on staring at me. Don’t look at me with those eyes. I don’t want to be weak anymore. “You can’t just do things and expect me to want it as well! You can’t decide everything! I’m sick of tiring that you think you can do whatever you want and just expect me to tag along! Things don’t work in that way”. I won’t let him have it in his way and just get away with it. If he first starts with it, he has to put his feelings in it as well.
“I’m sorry Shiro”. Does he know? Did he realize how I feel? “I-“
“I won’t let you do that anymore! Just get away with it!” I yelled and realized my words didn’t give much meaning. It was then I broke down. Tears were streaming down my cheeks and there’s no way turning back now. “You’re torturing me! You made me fall for you even more without actually doing a shit! I decided to stop loving you but you’re not making it fucking easy”. I closed my eyes and decided to just say everything that was on my heart. Now he’ll know how much I suffer in my heart. He walked closer to me but I put out both of my arms and held him back. “Every time I hear your voice, my body becomes jelly. Every time I see you, I see an angel who has helped me survive. Every time I see your smile, I can’t help but to smile as well and believe I’m in heaven. Every time we touch, I feel like I’m in a beautiful dream and never want to wake up. And when you hug me, I never want to let go of you. I want you to continue being in my arms and make you belong only to me. I know I’m being selfish but I can’t help but to feel and think like that. I always cry to think that I could never be yours and you be mine”, I screamed out without thinking. “That’s why I’m begging you to please stop…” I took a quick pause to catch my breath again. “…stop teasing me. I feel and think about it more than you do. Stop…” I whispered and continued crying. My head was down and my eyes were shut closed so I couldn’t see his face or reaction, but that doesn’t matter. Now he finally knows and will stop teasing and torturing me. I then felt a hand under my chin and he pushed my head up gently to face him. He had a soft look on his face but he didn’t smile. He looked to be more sad than happy. Apparently he doesn’t like it when girls confess their love for him. Yeah… That’s right… I’m not the only one who has these feelings. There have been many girls who have told him they love him but he always rejects them. He’ll probably reject me as well. Why would I be different? Many of those girls are much prettier than me, and stronger as well. I’m nothing special. His lips interrupted my thoughts. They were disturbed and thought of what happened right now. His lips were pressed against mine. H-He’s kissing me! His eyes were closed and his kiss were soft and gently. My eyes were wide open in shock and my body was completely paralyzed but then my eyes atomically closed. He pulled back for us both to take a properly breath. Our eyes met again and then he smiled soft. He leaned closer to my neck and started kissing it. My whole face turned red and I was unable to speak or even do a thing. Is he deaf?!
“D-Didn’t you listen to me! S-Stop!” I managed to yell and was about to push him away but he grabbed my hands and pulled me up against the fence.
“Now it’s time for you to listen to me”, he whispered in my ear and I stared at him.
“W-What do you mean?”
“Do you really think I do those things to just tease and torture you? You think when I kiss your neck it’s just for fun? And when I hug you I actually want to let go? Have you ever thought about my feelings as well?” I couldn’t help to just stare at him amazed. “Shiro… Have you ever thought about that I love you?” I heard myself gasp in shock and he kissed me again. “Miya Shiro… I love you. I love you more than anything”. Is he really telling the truth? D-Does he love me? “That’s why I made you promise to never leave me. I wouldn’t survive if you left me alone. I need you”. He kissed me again, more intense this time. Am I dreaming? If so, I never want to wake up again.
“A-Are you telling the truth? You’re not lying?” He smirked and giggled a bit.
“Yes, I’m telling the truth”, he whispered with a raspy voice. “Miya Shiro, will you be my girlfriend?” I can’t believe he said that!! I’m so happy I could die! Relax, don’t fangirl…
“Y-Yes. I will, Uchiha Sasuke”, I said with a grin and he kissed me again. I’ve never been this happy in my whole life before! He intertwined his hands with mines and leaned his forehead on mine with his eyes closed. This moment was perfect.
Written by: Terese Løvlien.