I laid back staring at the white ceiling.
My body was tingling from laying there for a long period time.
I sigh and closed my eyes avoiding the light in the window that blasted me right in the face.
"God I have missed you"
"The real monster is ... me"
"Because i'm stupid .... and i'm a waste of space"
"MY LIFE IS RUINED!"
"Stop"I whispered as i held my head to get rid of his voice.
"I have missed you... your touch...your smell...your love....it's been a year
....I want you"
"STOP!"I screamed as i sat up quickly holding my head in my hands.
Why can't I forget him? Why can't i just pretend that he doesn't exist ,and go on with my life without so much pain and hurt beating inside of my heart? I shouldn't have trust any boy.... including him.... i should have ripped those posters off of my wall and should have pushed every guy away. Why didn't i? Why did i let him do this with me? Why did i let him dissect me like i was some research project and let him study all of my movements, and weaknesses? Why did i let him get in my heart and get me to love him and do so much. Why is he acting like he cares now? The things he promised he broke... i already had many promises broke and i couldn't stay with him after that promise was broken. Why is he acting like he love me? That is a good question.... why does he love me?
He loves you because you care for him and you treated him like a human being despite him having all this fame! Why would you wanna forget the best thing in your life! Your shitty life i correct! He has made you forget! For crying out loud he killed your uncle... well i mean your father. Your sexual abuser father! He protected you for every harming thing that the world had came since day one! Remember when he came to your school to get surprise you and to meet you and he beat that asshole up in the hallway that was all up on you like your were a meal! Why on hell would you wanna forget that! Oh because he broke one little promise that he soon came to regret the second it happened. There is a big pile of guilt that is laying in that mans stomach and he wants it gone...just guess how long it has been in there! A whole year! A whole fucking year he has cried his eyes out has cut himself... has went behind peoples back and did stuff illegally. He made stupid stupid stupid choices because of something he did to that wasn't as worst as cheating on you.... or lying to you about something major.... or doing stupid things behind your back. He just hit you at a show of anger. He turned into someone else once his issues took over Angel! Now think about what you say. Him dissecting each part of you was the parts of bringing you to a happy and successful life.... with him by your side. Now do you want the pain or the happiness? Of course you want happiness! Then pick it don't walk away from it.Just saying when you where around justin it was like all your issues and problems......were never even there to begin with.
Do i you think i can trust him. I mean yeah your right i love him blah blah but.... do you think he will ever do it again... do you think i should maybe give him..
A second chance! YES! yes yes yes. Girl i just want you to be happy. Or us. You know i'm you and your me whatever. BUT, You love him and he loves you and he wants to be happy with you so lets get your head out of your ass and make this official shall we?
Wait wait but i need time i mean we. WE need time ok? We need to know if we trust him.I can see what your saying but i need to take one step at a time ok?
Ok girl but we can't leave him waiting forever.... because he might just....give up.
I disconnected my hands from my head and i looked up at the mirror and laughed to myself.
I was going insane.
I was just talking to myself like i was some crazy maniac!
But my brain and head came up to a agreement...
That i was willing to give justin another chance.
I narrowed my eyes at the computer across the room.
I sprung up and opened my mac and smiled at the fixed screen.
Thank you the guy that fixed it for me yesterday!
I checked the new message i had for facebook and i looked at the name.
It read "Nicole Soria"
The spit got caught in my throat and i choked following with a few coughs.
My anger grew in me faster then the own heartbeat of my heart.
"Why the fuck is this bitch talking to me now?"I growled under my breath.
Hey this nikki! I uh wanted to catch up maybe this friday or something you know. I just wanted to see how you were doing. Text me if you can about this catch up please. i have missed you my besty!'
I Scoffed loudly closing my mac and jumping back on my bed.
My phone started ringing and i closed my eyes and swear quietly.
"WILL EVERYONE JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!"I screamed.
I grab my phone and answer anger clearly showing within me.
"Hello"I said annoyed.
"Hey! This is Christy from work!"She said.
"Oh hey Christy'I sighed.
"Did i interrupt anything?"She asked.
"No no just people you know"I laugh.
"Well i wanted to know if you maybe wanted to go with me and the others tonight to a club here in new york.... it's gonna be super packed because the super bowl is this week and-"
"Others?"I cut her off.
"Yeah like everyone that works with us!"She said excited.
"Oh well.."I trailed off looking at the clock.
"When is this?"I sighed.
"In 3 hours i can pick you up!"She said excited.
"Ok thats sounds fun"I smiled.
"Ok ill see you soon!bye"She said hanging up.
I sighed and looked at myself.
I whence at my experience.
I really need to get clean up for tonight
Hey angel... maybe it ill be fun!
Yeah maybe... but its not my thing.
It is if justin is there
Whoa whoa there what do you mean by that!
You know you should like take him with you... i mean its like that first little step!
Little step my ass! Thats a big step. Its not safe for me and justin being in the same room as music,drugs,and other people doing stuff!
Then just don't do anything with him damn just talk.... hang out with him...thats a step right?
No i just don't wanna be with him right now ok?
No its not ok...
Well sorry bitch.
I shook out of my thoughts and walked to the bathroom.
"I gotta stop doing that"I laughed to myself.
I put this on:
I smiled at myself in the mirror. To be honest i haven't felt this good and heathy and... kinda happy in a long time.
I finally decided i wanted to be happy....
The door rang making me jump up in shock.
It must be Christy.
I was kinda stunned that she asked me to go to this party with her and the work crew.
I knew they made fun of me.
Then it rung in my held.
There all 17 or 18.... they kinda can't drink without a ID.
They probably think i'm 21... which is false i'm just 19 but i'll be turning 20.
Do i look older than 20?
I walked to the apartment door and it revealed Christy.
She looked at me and her jaw dropped.
"Damn girl i didn't know you cleaned up nice"She giggled.
"I'm jealous"She said circling me.
"You gonna get all the guys"She played with my hair.
I whence at the two words "Get" and "Guys".
Something i just wanted to get out of my head.
"Ok your ready?"She smiled hopping in front of me.
"Yeah um if you want me to buy drinks for you guys then i'm sorry i can't... i'm only 19"I said playing with my dress.
"Oh yeah we know... we weren't using you for drinks silly"She laughed.
I narrowed my eyes at her.
"Then why do you want me to come-"
"Let's go will be late"She pulled me out the door as i closed with force as i was dragged to the car.
She hopped in and i got in the passenger.
Why would they want me to go to a fun party at a club.... if i thought they hated me?
The smell of weed clear and i coughed up some the air that shout up in my lungs.
Alcohol was present everywhere i looked.
When i compared myself to these girls here.... i just thought...
And i thought i was dressed sexy....
But thinking about it most of these girls are sluts and druggies.
I'm glad i'm not them.
The music was starting to have a great effect on my hearing because i couldn't even hear the people that were right next to me.
"Ok guys!"I heard Christy yell to all the workers.
"Let's party"She screamed everyone cheered and left in all different directions.
I just stood there looking at everyone and admiring everything.
My eyes took a look at the empty seat in the distance.
Please no making out couple flop there body's there.
I fast walked and sat in the seat and i sighed.
I looked down at my dress and played with it shyly.
"Hey there"I heard a husky voice say.
I instantly look up and meet with eyes with a boy around my age.
I whence at the eye contact.
"H-Hey " I shyly said looking at my shoes.
"Why is a sexy girl like you over here all alone, hm?"He said sitting next to me.
"Because this is not as fun as i thought"I sigh.
"I'm Gavin... you are Angel"He stated.
I looked at his face but not his eyes.
He had a sharp jawline and he had a scuff beard and he had spiked up brown hair.
I bit my lip and looked down and glanced at him bright blue eyes.
"Yeah how did you know?"I whispered.
"Well i know one of your workers i'm friends with all of them and they all told me great things about you to me."He smiled.
Great things my ass buddy.
"Oh well thats nice there all good workers to"I sigh.
"Well let me get you a drink"He smiled.
He stood up and i grabbed his arm.
"I don't want a drink... just come uh sit with me... i need to talk to someone"I laughed nervously.
"Yeah ok sure"He smiled down at me.
As a hour past i was kinda having a good time just talking.
"Hey but you should dance with me"He smirked.
"I gotta go to the bathroom first can you show me?"I asked.
"Let's dance , but i bet you won't have to pee after"He smirked.
I narrowed my eyes and felt myself grow kinda nervous and scared.
"No i need to go now... show me"I said calmly.
He groaned showing he was angry.
I shrug it off and followed him.
"There hurry"He demanded looking at his phone.
I walked in and shrug it off.
I did my stuff and washed my hands.
I fixed my hair and the door opened fast which made me jump.
Gavin walked in and laughed.
"Why are you in here it's-"He grabbed me by my arm and dragged me out of the bathroom.
"What the hell"I said trying to pull away.
"Damn"He said looking at his watch.
He dragged me to the VIP and went in the rooms.
He threw me forcefully at the wall and i hit my back really hard against the wall.
I yelped and cried after the impact it had on my back.
"Shut up bitch!"He screamed.
"What the fuck are you doing with me in here!"I screamed back.
His hand swung and hit my cheek as fast and hard as it could which cause my head to fling back from such impact.
"You listen to me! You got that bitch!"He spit in my face.
"What do you want?"I spit out.
He pulled me up by my hair and cried.
"Fuck"I cried out loud.
He laid me down on a soft surface and i suddenly started kicking and swatting him away but he didn't bulge one bit.
"You ready to feel me baby"He laughed bitterly.
"Just saying this is from your fellow workers"He laughed in my ear and i started crying.
"They wanted to say"He pulled my dress up and he started to pull at my underwear.
"Leave me alone"I cried.
"They wanted to say fuck you"He laughed.
He ripped my panties off and threw them.
My tears were flowing rapidly down my cheeks as he touched me were i didn't want to me touch.
"I know you want this slut"He laughed.
I cried harder.
He shoved 3 fingers in me and i lost my air and gasped.
"Not yet baby"He chuckled evilly in my ear.
I heard a click and all movements were stopped.
"You might wanna listen to her, and stop before your ass is mine"I heard a familiar raspy voice.
He slowly got off me and i crawled away as i saw the gun held in his hands as he held it behind Gavin's head.
He put the gun in his pocket and Gavin instantly swung but his fist was caught by him andhe grabbed his gun again and the fire went off and i screamed and covered my eyes.
I peeked and saw the bullet in Gavin's leg.
The blood started to come out.
I covered my mouth and looked at the guys back as he slowly turned around.
"What the....how the...when did"I had so much to ask.
"Come on before they call the cops"He said grabbing me and pulling me out of the room in the VIP section.
Oh justin such a badass lol yasssss
I want justin to shoot a guy for me lol
I want justin to do anything with me except you know doing bad stuff lol.
I hope this chapter is long i tried to make it long for you guys to make up for my lackage of updating hahah.
Hope you enjoy this chapter and many to come in the next yasss.
Do you think justin and angel should get back together admittedly or take time?
Love You XoXo.