The days i spent trying to end my misery and pain.
The blades i always had...The pills i took...
Nothing would work because somebody i don't even know would find me.
I don't want them to care.... i just wanna leave this hell.
I lost everything.
My only friends...
And My Love
It gives me chills when i think about him or even say his name to myself.
When i think about him i just wonder.
Where is he?
Is he happy?
Is he married?
Does he have a family?
Many more question's stacked my mind.
My question's would be answered if i just go on the phone i haven't been on in 11 months.
Or even the computer that i smashed when i first heard heartbreaker.
I felt tears strain my cheeks.
Which is a normal thing for me.
My eyes are always red... and i have scars.
I haven't cut myself in a month.
I look outside and see the sunshine peek threw the dark room i sat in.
I sighed and i opened the window and looked out and saw light for the first time in 2 days.
I look at the time and i sigh.
I go over to my closet and get ready for my job.
"What would you like today?"i asked the couple sitting down.
They told me there orders and i gave them the strong and fake smile i always do and turned around.
I walked to the counter.
I place the order on the front counter.
I check the time.
I cheer inside when i see my time ends in 15 minutes.
I grab the food that was ready and walked over too the family of 4.
I saw the little twin girls and i smiled lightly.
"Mom are food is here!"One said.
I giggled and gave them there food.
"You beauties enjoy your food and you to"i said looking a the couple.
Pain shot threw my heart.
I walked away and i went to the back of the diner.
I saw the other group of workers all huddled together.
Scoffing i made my way over to them.
I was different from all of them...
they were in there seventeens and me
i just got out of high school and graduated like 2 months after i lost everything.
Im in my nineteens.
They where cool and happy with life.
I was broken and suicidal piece of shit.
I was about to say something before someone said something making me listen.
"Ha what a douche bag"Rob said looking at the phone as everyone else did.
I hid behind the rack and looked at them.
"Look he looks like a fucking dick... he fucking is one"Christy said and everyone laughed.
I knitted my eyebrows in confusion.
Jenna put the phone away.
"That was funny he looked so fucking ugly... why was he even smiling in his picture thats fucking retarded like him"Chris said.
I gasp lightly.
"So why did he even get arrested for anyway?"Sam asked.
"For drag racing, and drinking... he made a fucking horrible mistake... because he is a mistake."Rob said.
"He has been like this for like a year he won't stop being a fucking asshole and ruining everyones life with his stupidity!"Christy said.
They all nodded.
"I can't wait till the day he fucking dies!"Chris said.
They all laughed.
"Isn't he here for the stupid super bowl"Jenna asked.
They all nodded.
"He deserves to he is a gay ass faggot that needs to die choking on a dick!"Jenna Said.
They all bursted in laughter.
I gasped and covered my mouth.
What kind of sick kind of person would say those things.
"We should like all get guns and knifes and go end the mistake"Rob said.
They all laughed.
I shake my head not wanting to hear anything else.
I ran out of there and looked at the time and saw i had 5 minutes.
I took my stuff and signed out and said by to the chiefs before leaving the building.
I started my car and hopped in and quickly got out of that hell.
It's 6pm.... and i'm doing what i do when i get home.
I go in my room and stare at my wall till the sun falls... then i sleep.
I sigh and i look at my computer and phone that has laid there for a year.
It made me think what person they were talking about earlier...
if i look maybe i can see who there talking about.
Those people could be the worst new yorkers i have ever seen.
I get up slowly and shaking while i walk over to my computer and phone.
I grab them and i walk back to my bed.
Opening the computer i see the lightly cracked screen.
I frowned and remembered when i threw it.
I shook my head and i turned on the computer.
I grabbed my phone and i hesitantly turned it on.
My computer turned on and i clicked on google crome and i went on google.
I try to think.
They said this guy got arrested for drag racing and drinking.
Arrested for drag racing and DUI.
Links instantly popped up and my lips trembled.
*Justin Bieber Arrested In Miami For DUI and Drag Racing! Read For More*
I felt the warm water slip down my cheeks.
I sobbed lightly.
I put my face in my hands and cried lightly.
"No"i repeated in my hands.
I grabbed my phone and pushed the home button with confidence.
My home screen made me bite my lip and look at all what i have missed.
There was millions of updates and twitter notices.
The only thing i was looking for was the texts that i expected.
I went to my messages and clicked on justin's name.
I scrolled threw 100 messages he sent me and saw the last time i texted him.
You can't leave baby come back i'm sorry
I need you
I hate myself baby you are my everything i didn't mean to hurt you i promise i love you
something took over me angel
i love you
i love you so much
i'm out looking for you
where are you?
i can't find you
what if something happened?
baby just text me
babe i love you remember that.... i hope you got my messages.... and remember i will never change my phone number so sometime you will text me back... i know you'll text me back.
Honey i will never ever find someone because no one is you.... i want you... i have to have you... i'm sorry baby... you have no idea how much i have been crying... i will find you... and i'm funny committed to you.... forever i will be yours.... text me back angel baby.
I stopped reading and i sighed and wiped the tears away with the back of my hand.
I looked at the next text and saw it was sent 6 months ago.
It's been awhile since i texted you... everyday i just can't stop thinking about angel.... it was like the first time we met ... i had this picture of you in my head... and i still do.... i wanna see you badly... it's been 6 months since i last saw you running out.
I'm scared you could of died... or even got kidnapped.... i would never live with myself.... if you are reading this then i want you to know i love you... i still do and all the girls that come to me i just push them away.... because i'm yours angel....
God please just let her text me.
After skipping a lot the next text was a week after the
last text he texted.
I'm in pain....i can't stop smoking this weed Za has gave me.... and i can't stop drinking.... i'm just disappointed in myself... for hurting you.
I would kill myself or cut myself but i can't have my fans see that so weed is the only way angel.... hey maybe it will kill me... so i don't have to live on this hell anymore...
I gasped loudly and i started to sob....
he was suicidal like me to...
Baby i just want to fuck you so hard and hear you scream my name and i want to feel you claw marks on my back.... i want to break the bed... i wanna kiss everywhere on you
I'm sorry i was drunk.... but it's true... it would be nice to see you... to feel you... to kiss you... i want you so bad angel
I got butterflies and i saw the next text
was from 3 months ago.
Fuck there are so much shit people are talking about me.... and i didn't even do any of it... it's fucking annoying... i just hate everyone.... i can't trust anyone anymore baby....
Babe i'm so so so so sorry..... i tried to hook up with selena... i needed someone... i need you... i can't find you baby.... i ended things before it went far... i want to go far with you again.
I'm sorry baby angel....
I continued to read his actions in the text messages... it was like he was reading me his diary... it was like a story.
I cried while reading...
this is the saddest thing i have ever read.
The last text was sent a week ago.
My stomach exploded with butterflies at how soon that was.
Angel.... should i stop? should i stop breathing... should i stop smiling... should i stop caring.... should i just stop everything... because if i don't have you... i don't need to be on earth...
I stopped breathing and i just held my breath as i hit the letters on the phone screen.
From:Baby Angel <3
My Hands started sweating as i softly pressed the send button.
All the weight on my shoulders were lifted off my shoulders.
After looking at my wall again for 15 minutes my phone buzzed and i gasped.
I grabbed my phone shaking like crazy.
I started to sing softly into the mic as they recorded my voice for this new track.
"Good job bro i think we got it "He said.
I nodded and walked out of the room and went over to where my phone and water was.
I sat on the couch and i sighed heavy.
"Fuck"i rubbed my temples.
My mind was replaying the picture of my angel.
I tried to get it out before i burst in tears.
My eyes opened to the sound of my phone beeping.
I knitted my eyebrows.
I snatched my phone.
"I thought i told them to not bother me at-
I saw the text i got and i stopped for breathing.
I started to feel tears come.
Angel....i just can't
she saw my texts....
finally..... thank you god.
I wanted to smile so wide but i had people around me.
I stood up and gathered my things and hurried out of the studio here in NY.
I walked on the side of the studio and texted her back.
To:Baby Angel <3
THE FIRST CHAPTER FOR THE SEQUELLLL OH THIS IS GONNA BE GOOD!!!!
Hahaha thanks for all the support!
I love you boo's so much and i hope you like this!
Please read my others that would help.
I suggest change him and jerek twins because thats fans favorites
hehe ok TADA TADA!!
Finally i post this hehe
Love You XoXo.