50. Chapter 50
I hear his footsteps and calls from behind me but I choose to ignore them and I quickly dash to the bathroom before locking the door behind me so he can follow me no more. And when I finally realise I’m all alone, I let it all out. All of the emotions I was keeping bottled up before come falling down my cheeks as tears. I choke on a strangled sob as I lean against the door for support. So much has happened and I’m not sure if I’m able to cope with it all anymore.
My own mother doesn’t even give two shits about me anymore. I’m officially all alone and I am trapped in this place for the rest of my life serving as a sex toy. A slut would be the better word to describe me. I am a slut and that disgusts me.
And now I think I’ve lost Harry too. Who am I kidding? I never had him in the first place. He has been and always will be this fucked up monster and I will never be able to change him.
I bang my head against the door harshly as I slowly let myself slide down it, trying to ease the pain within me. I’m so alone and confused it hurts. My breathing becomes more and more harsh and ragged as I cry. If I keep this up I may hyperventilate.
I hear pounding on the door behind me but the voices are drowned out due to my rapid breathing and sobs. Why can’t I be left alone and drown in my sorrows for 5 minutes?
I hear the door begin to rattle indicating that it will soon give way. I stand up and try to steady myself but my vision is blurred due to the tears in my eyes. I angrily wipe at my eyes and groan. Just as I was about to open the door and tell everyone to shut the fuck up, something shiny catches the corner of my eye. I slowly turn around to find the razor that the boys finally let me have after I attempted to cut myself.
Visions of me releasing all of the pain and misery fill my mind and I am suddenly drawn to the small object. I am actually surprised of how dark my thoughts are going and it is enough to distract me from all of the commotion from behind the door.
However, just as I grab the razor, the door swings open with a loud noise and all five of the boys now stand there. When did they get here?
“Son of a bitch!” Harry yells when he sees the razor in my hand. He sprints over to me but I step away from him.
“Leave me alone Harry!” my voice comes out hoarse and strangled but Harry, as always, doesn’t listen.
“Give me the razor Amelia.” He demands, his tone soft but I can hear the anger behind his words. I lift up the razor and hold it against my wrist firmly.
“Take one more step or I’ll do it.” I threaten him and he looks at me speechless for a moment before his eyes grow hard and cold.
“Guys. A little help here.” he says to the rest of the boys behind him and within seconds I find my hands firmly held behind my back and the razor pulled away from me. I thrash and scream as the boys do this but they seem unaffected which only makes me angrier. Once the razor is safely out of my reach, they let me go and I tumble to the floor. I hear multiple footsteps leave the room and just as I think I’m finally alone again, I see Harry’s large frame crouch down level with mine on the floor.
He watches me as I sob like a fool on the floor. And he does absolutely nothing else and I’m not sure if I should yell at him or thank him for doing so. I’m not sure how long we’re on the floor like this but when I finally stop sobbing and the only thing I can hear is my heavy breathing, I feel a finger underneath my chin tilting my head up. I am met by Harry’s emotionless green eyes. He stares at me blankly and I flinch when he wipes the excess tears off my cheeks with his thumb.
After staring at me for a minute or so, he finally releases a breath of what seems to be relief. His eyes shut momentarily and I debate on pulling away from his grip but his eyes fly open just as I was about to do so.
“Why?” is all he asks me impassively. I blink at him not knowing what to say or do. He frowns as I pull away from his grip and shuffle back to distance myself from him. He confuses me when he’s near me. I don’t know whether I should yell in his face or hug him so I say nothing which only seems to make him angrier.
“Answer me.” He demands quietly indicating to me how hard he is trying to control his anger. I decide on answering him this time.
“I don’t know Harry why do you think?” I ask him sarcastically, my voice still weak from crying. He narrows his eyes at me as he shuffles a little closer to me and I move back even more. Can’t he just stay where he is?!
“Watch it.” He warns me and I surprise the both of us my letting out a sick laugh.
“Well Harry let’s see now, my mom just ditched me and no longer loves me anymore, I’m stuck here as a slut for the rest of my life and I know for a fact that I’m going to be alone for the rest of my life.” I ramble on hysterically and I grow angry as more tears begin to build up in my eyes. He watches me as he takes in all of my words.
“You think of yourself as a slut?” he asks me horrified, ignoring everything else I said.
“Well it seems that way. I mean I have banged most of you guys here anyway.” I reply not caring how ridiculous I sound. Harry only looks horrified by this.
“You are most definitely not a slut I can assure you that.” He says with a frown.
“I don’t give I fuck what you think anymore Harry.” I blurt out and I know what I said affected him when I see him visibly wince.
“And I know you don’t give a fuck about me either so go ahead, keep me locked here forever as a slut. You’ve already destroyed me anyway.” I say out of pure anger and self-hatred.
“Stop it! Just stop it!” he shouts before punching the floor angrily.
“Damnit Amelia! How could you say that I don’t give a fuck about you?! I release that girl because I give a fuck about you! Why can’t you see that?!” he continues angrily. His words tug at my heart a little but I’m not buying his shit. Before I can reply to him, I am cut off by another voice from the doorway.
“You did what?!” I hear it yell and I look up to find Zayn in the doorway.