A/N: Update again at 15 likes
I honestly wasn’t actually going to sleep with Liam Payne. I even thought it over all night while the other boys were “hitting on me” and I decided I was just going to give him a good snog and then tell him I didn’t want to sleep with him because I’d never had a one night stand before. Or some lie like that. It’s not that I didn’t think Liam was extremely attractive or that I cared about a one night stand or anything. To me, Liam just seemed like someone who would catch feelings, and I don’t do feelings. Also, sleeping with him would hurt him more when he would eventually find out who I was. Zayn’s plan was really dumb, to be honest, but he never thinks things through because he’s an absolute knob.
But then Liam opened up to me. In that moment he looked so vulnerable, and I felt special because clearly he was hurt and he was actually willing to spill his problems to me, of all people. And suddenly, JC, not Amy wanted to sleep with Liam. Well, I’m sure Amy would too, any girl in their right mind would go for a couple rounds with Liam Payne, he looks like David Beckham, god dammit!
So there I was, my back against my front door, my legs wrapped around Liam’s waist, his large hands cupping my arse, odd noises escaping my lips as he sponged kisses along my collar bone. I don’t know why a woman would ever leave Liam for someone else, because boy knew what he was doing, like really.
“Oh god, Liam. Bedroom, now.” I moaned into his ear while unbuttoning his shirt. I supressed a gap as his body was revealed to me. Zayn had told me that they had a personal trainer with them while on tour, and I couldn’t thank their management enough.
Liam just grunted, placing his lips back on mine once more before carrying me to my bed, gently placing me on the soft mattress. How he knew where my bedroom was, I didn’t care, I just wanted his body, right then and there.
“You’re so sexy.” He growled before climbing on top of me, his weight pinning me down beneath him, his hips grinding into mine. I felt my back involuntarily arch, pressing my body into his, begging for more contact. I wriggled myself out from underneath his strong body, putting myself on top, my legs straddling his hips. I could feel his heartbeat quicken as I kissed down his chest, his member hardening beneath me. I tugged at his trousers, discarding them somewhere behind me. The things this boy was doing to my body, I had never wanted to please someone so much in my entire life. I could feel his body tense beneath me as I wrapped my fingers around his now naked member.
“Mmmm, you like that Liam?” I glanced up at him before slowly running my tongue over the sensitive skin of his penis. All I got was a groan in response as I quickly let him fill up my entire mouth, hitting the back of my throat. Thank god I had no gag reflex because Liam sure had a huge dick. Like really, man.
“Oh fuck, Amy.” Liam moaned out, making me stop my actions. He sat up, looking at me frantically as I tried to stop the tears from forming in my eyes.
“I can’t…I can’t do this to you, Liam.” I pulled away from him, wrapping myself up in my duvet.
“What do you mean, Amy?” He reached for me, but I shrank deeper into the confines of my blanket. I should have never agreed to Zayn’s dumb plan, now I was going to have to be the one who told Liam that we were lying to him, all because I wanted him to call me by my real name when fucking me.
“My name is not Amy.” I couldn’t believe I was actually doing this. He was going to hate me. Good thing I barely knew him… The rest of his band had to deal with him forever though. Hah.
“Excuse me?” Liam was now off the bed, his shirt on, but still unbuttoned. He was so good looking it hurt. “If I tell you, do you promise to just sit and listen until I’m done?” My voice was meek and I hated it, but I was so scared because I knew he would hate me in the end. Hell even I hated me.
“And I was never planning on actually going through with it but then you talked to me and I actually liked you, and I forgot about the plan, and I was just JC, the girl who wanted to take you home with me. And then you called my Amy and I knew that I had to stop it, because if you were going to fuck me, I’d want you to know the real me.” She shrugged, looking at her hands, refusing to make eye contact with me.
“I…uh…fuck.” I felt the anger build inside of me. I knew it didn’t make sense for me to be so angry at her, I should have been pissed at the boys for coming up with the plan in the first place, but she really had me there. I actually thought that she would have wanted me. It’s funny, I thought that for one night I could just forget everything and be someone else, this guy who had no cares in the world, who could pick up gorgeous women in bars and take them home for a night of fun. But it turns out she was the one doing all of the pretending. It turned out that I was still some sad boy who couldn’t keep a girl to save my life.
“Liam, look—.” She reached out for me, but I cut her off by abruptly jumping off of the bed.
“No, you look Amy, or JC, or whoever the fuck you are. I’m tired of spending my life feeling like I’m not good enough. Jesus Christ, did none of you even think this thing through and actually think about how I would fucking feel? Are you all that daft?” At this point I was grabbing my things, redressing myself. She got out of the bed, following me to the front door. “Liam, please, can we talk this out? I thought about it, but you shouldn’t be going out alone at this time of night, people will recognize you.” She pleaded from behind me, but all I could see what red. It felt like my heart was breaking with every single word she said and I couldn’t figure out why. It’s like she was toxic.
“No, you know what? Fuck you, JC. I can’t believe I ever thought of sleeping with you. You’re just a worthless slut.” And with that, I was gone.
I stormed into the flat, greeted by four smirks.
“Fun night, Payno?” Zayn jested.
“Did you ride that wave?” Harry joked, lamely.
“I bet she was some fun.” Niall mumbled through a mouthful of crisps. “Daddyyy Direcctiiooonnn!” Louis hollered. I didn’t say anything though, I just glared at them.
“Uh, Li?” Zayn stood up, approaching me cautiously.
“You’re all assholes.” I mumbled before brushing past Zayn and taking his spot on the couch, “I can’t believe you set that whole thing up with some skank. Like did you really think that would work? Do you really think I’m that pathetic?” I ranted, grabbing Harry’s beer from his hands and taking a long swig, cringing at bitter taste as I swallowed. Before anyone could reply, Zayn’s phone went off.
“Hello? No, Jazz, calm down. Yeah he got here fine? He said what? Fuck, Jazz. No don’t do that. Don’t you fucking move, Jazz. Please Jazz, just think this through. I’m so sorry I put you in this situation. Please just stay there, I’ll be right over, okay? Can you do that for me? Stay on the line with me okay Jazz?” We all watched Zayn as he raced around the flat, grabbing for a coat and searching for his keys.
“Zayn?” I finally found my voice.
“What the fuck Liam! I know you were mad, but do you have any idea what you have just done?” Zayn sent me one last glare before racing off, slamming the door behind him. No, I had no idea what I had done, because they didn’t give me the chance to actually get to know the girl.
“You’re just a worthless slut.”
The words were ringing through my ears. And they wouldn’t stop. When Liam stormed out of my flat, it felt like something stabbed me in the heart, and all the old memories came rushing into my head. All the reasons why I fled the UK coming back to the surface. I was so weak. I felt my body fall to the floor, hugging my knees to my chest; I let the memories take over my mind.
“I love you so much, Jazz.” He whispered into my ear, tucking some stray blonde locks behind my ear, his blue eyes piercing into mine.
“I love you too.” The words came tumbling out of my mouth and I finally admitted it to myself; I was completely in love with the bad boy from the next town over. We were going to be a big cliché, but I didn’t care, I just wanted him forever. I was never the kind of girl to fall in love, or have someone fall in love with me, I was always deemed one of the boys, but Henry had seen something in me and learned to love me.
“We’re forever.” He locked his pinky in mine, like he was making me a promise.
“Henry, I think I’m ready.” I kissed him before he could respond, pressing my body into his. He responded right away, flipping out bodies so that he was on top of me.
“Are you sure?” He pulled away, a look of concern passing over his gorgeous features, and I just nodded, the nerves not letting me speak. And then I gave him everything.
“What the fuck, Henry?” The tall, beautiful brunette threw a book at Henry as I covered myself with his sheets.
“Jess, it’s not what you think?” Henry lifted his hands in surrender, seemingly forgetting that I was even there.
“It’s not what I think? You have some random slut in your bed and you’re telling me it’s not what I think?” The girl screeched and I flinched as she called me a slut. I wasn’t a slut; I had just lost me virginity.
“She means nothing, Jess, just a little fun. I swear.” He tried wrapping his arms around her, but she turned on him, her glare finding me.
“If she means nothing, get rid of her now.” Her voice was a low growl. I didn’t blame her; she probably thought I was just some random whore, not some 17 year old girl who just had sex for the first time from the town over. How long had Henry been playing both of us? I thought I had been his girlfriend for a good six months. I should have listened to Zayn when he called me to warn me that Henry was no good.
“Get out.” He didn’t even let himself look at me. I gaped at him, my eyes filling with unwanted tears. “Did you not hear me, slut? Get the fuck out of my house!” He roared at me, causing the tears to fall. I scrambled out of the bed, pulling my clothes on as fast as I could.
“Are you kidding me Henry? Just like that? This meant nothing?” My voice sounded pathetic and weak in my own ears.
“You’re just a worthless slut.”
I drove to JC’s flat as quickly as I could, my grip tightening on the wheel with every passing second. This was entirely my fault; I should have never put her in this situation. I should have thought it over better. I shouldn’t have used JC in my plan. It was a stupid plan anyways. I quickly pulled into her guest parking space, using my spare key to get into her building. I continuously pressed the button for the elevator, but it was taking forever.
“Fuck.” I breathed, until my eyes found the staircase. And then I ran. And there was no way I could have prepared myself for what I was greeted with once I finally got to Jazz’s flat. She was still huddled by the door, her knees to her chest, her hands knotted through her hair, the tears falling down her face. I hadn’t seen her like this since Henry.
I told the boys that there was a family emergency that I had to go home for. Jazz was family, always had been, and always would be. I had gone to her house with a pint of Ben and Jerries and all of her favourite movies, thinking that would be enough to cheer her up. But it was much worse that I had anticipated. It looked like she hadn’t bothered to get up and shower, or eat in weeks. Which she probably hadn’t. She didn’t even call me to tell me what had happened. Her brother called me, his voice full of concern. He had picked up his only baby sister up in the next town over, and she wouldn’t speak, wouldn’t even make eye contact with him, she just cried. And then no one could get her to move out of her room.
“Jazzy. It’s me.” I crawled into bed with her, ignoring her smell, wrapping my arms around her body, pulling her into me, my heart falling when I noticed how much weight she had lost. She had always been a skinny girl, but she usually had muscle, for she was a sporty one. But she had let herself wither away to nothing.
“Go away, Zayn.” She croaked.
“Oh, so she talks?” I chuckled into her ear, hoping to lighten the mood.
“Fuck off.” She wriggled in my grasp, trying to make me let her go, “Leave me alone, please.” But instead I pulled the covers off of her, rushing to open her curtains.
“Nope, I’m not leaving here until you’ve showered and had a proper meal. And even then, I probably won’t leave.” I picked her body up, walking her to her bathroom.
“If I shower will you have to stop fucking talking, Popstar.” She glared at me, and I couldn’t help but laugh at her hair which looked like a birds nest on the top of her head.
“As long as that stench is gone, I’ll shut up.” I shrugged, turning to let her undress.
“Fuck off, Malik.” I heard her grumble as I shut the door. I just laughed, shaking my head. I made my way to her kitchen to make her a sandwich.
“You’re like magic with her, you know.” I jumped a bit, I hadn’t heard her brother, Luke enter the kitchen. He was leaning his large body against door frame. I couldn’t understand how anyone would want to fuck with JC, everyone knew she had four very muscled older brothers who would do absolutely anything for her.
“She’s the same for me.” I shrugged, going back to making her sandwich.
“You know, we’ve all placed bets on when we think the two of you will finally get together.”
“It’s not like that Luke. She’s my best friend. I couldn’t risk it.” I shook my head, giving him the argument I had given myself whenever I thought of JC in any way other than a friend.
“So you’ve thought of risking it then?” I looked up and sure enough, he was smirking at me. I opened my mouth to reply, but the doorbell rang. Luke sent me a wink before going to answer the door. I ignored the fact that I was about to tell him how I had thought about it, but in the end, I’d fuck up and JC deserved so much better than me. She deserved the best. Not some popstar who would never be around for her. And before I was a popstar, I was just some weird artsy kid that she kept around.
“What the fuck do you want?” I stopped slicing cheese when I heard Luke’s thunderous voice from the front hall.
“Look, I just want to talk to her, mate.” Another voice pleaded.
“Don’t fucking call me mate. You’re not my mate. You’re scum. Now get the fuck out of my house, and if you so much of think about my little sister again, I will know, and I will find out, and I will tear your ugly head off.” I walked into the front room to find Luke face to face with Henry, both of them refusing to back down.
“I just want to apologize to her.”
“You don’t deserve her fucking forgiveness.” I growled at Henry.
“Oi, Malik, back in down to take care of the girl you’ll never have?” He was rubbing it in my face. Everyone but JC knew I had always had a crush on her.
“I’ll talk to him.” We all turned to find JC standing there, her long hair still wet and flowing down her back, my oversized jumper swallowing her small frame.
“JC…” Luke warned.
“No, I need to hear this.” Jazz placed a reassuring hand on her brothers arm, causing him to back off a little bit, but neither of us were about to leave her with that asshole.
“Look Jazz, you weren’t supposed to find out. I really do have feelings for you, but me and Jess have so much history and I didn’t know what to do, but before I knew it, I was too far into it all, and I didn’t know who to choose.” Henry looked genuinely conflicted.
“But you chose her. You chose her right away, you didn’t even think about me.” Jazz shook her head, refusing to look at the man who had destroyed her.
“No, I just, I had to calm her down. Please, Jazz, forgive me. I broke up with her.” JC’s eyes snapped up, her eyes assessing Henry’s face.
“I don’t believe you. After all, why would you leave her for just a worthless slut?” She snapped at him. All of a sudden I was seeing nothing but red. He had called her that? Before I could even think, I lunged at him, pinning him against the wall, my forearm pressing against his throat.
“Look, you piece of shit. If you come near her again I will end you. You’re lucky I don’t beat the shit out of you right now, but Jazz doesn’t need to see that. Now get the fuck out of here and never come back. If you so much as set foot in this town ever again, I’ll make your life a living hell.” And then I grabbed him by the shirt and threw him out of the house, slamming the door behind him.
“Zayn…” Jazz choked out, her arms reaching for me, but I just shushed her, pulling her into my chest, holding onto her tightly. On that night, I promised that I would never let anyone hurt my Jazz ever again. Which is why she could never be mine. Cause I would probably just hurt her in the end. Like everybody else.
“Come here, baby.” I picked her up, her body light in my arms. “Let’s take you home.” And I did the only thing that I could think of and I carried her to my car, taking her back to my flat. When we arrived, I carried her into the elevator, softly singing into her ear, knowing that always calmed her down. I kicked at the door, not able to open it for myself, hoping one of the boys would let me in.
“Holy shit.” Harry whispered as he opened the door. I walked into the flat, surprised to find all of the boys still up, waiting for me.
“JC’s going to stay with us tonight.” I glared at Liam before taking Jazz to my room, tucking her in. I pulled off my shirt and jeans, putting on a pair of shorts before settling in beside Jazz, wrapping her arms around her. It felt like if I held onto her long enough, maybe she’d be okay again. Maybe one day.