"Last night shouldn't have happened. I'm sorry." I ran out of the room, out of the house, and kept running until I got to Cara's house, not looking back. I let myself in and ran up to her room, tears brimming my eyes.
"Woah, Ellie, what's wrong?"
"I did a bad thing last night, Cara. A really really bad thing." My voice cracked and the tears were starting to fall. Cara motioned for me to sit down on the bed next to her and wrapped her arms around me.
"Shh, it's going to be okay. What did you do?" Cara stroked my hair as I started to sob harder and harder.
"I don't think it will be.. What I did was unforgivable." I whispered between sobs.
"I can't help you if you don't tell me what happened."
"I...I slept with Ashton." I started crying even harder. "I cheated on Nate, again! I'm such a bad person, and a whore! He's never going to forgive me, I don't even forgive me." Cara just stared at me and as if on cue, my phone rang. I checked the screen; it was Nate. I took a deep breath and answered.
"Good morning precious. Have you been crying?"
"Um, yeah. Just a sad book, that's all."
"Okay.. Well I just wanted to tell you that I miss you and I can't wait to see you this weekend."
"Yeah. Me too. But I should go, I'm at Cara's and were about to eat." I avoided Cara's glance as I said this.
"Okay, I love you Ellie."
"I love you too..." I hung up and looked up as Cara was staring at me.
"What? I can't tell him. Not like that." Cara just disapprovingly shook her head. I sat down on the bed and broke down again.
I was never like this. I was always the good girlfriend, good friend and person in general. I always did my homework, I aced every test, I never talked back, I never lied, and I never cheated. I don't know what came over me.
Ever since Luke, Ashton, Calum, and Michael came my entire world got turned upside down. I knew Luke and Ashton liked me, they did everything to get my attention. But I liked the attention, if Nate wasn't around they were the once to make me smile. And now, because of them I cheated on the one guy that never hurt me. I cheated on the boy I knew since I was a baby. The boy I grew up with. The boy who gave me my first kiss. The boy I lost my virginity to. The boy I was madly in love with. I know what everyone is thinking, if I was so madly in love with him, why did I cheat? And the answer is, I don't know. I missed him and I needed something to fill that empty feeling.
"Look, Ellie. I know this is hard for you, and I know you don't know what to do. So stay with us until the weekend."
"Come on let's go get some breakfast and you are going to tell me what exactly happened last night."
Cara handed me a mug of coffee and sat down at the table next to me. "Were you wasted?"
"No. But I wasn't 100 percent sober either. I just had one drink."
"Okay and?" I took a deep breath and told her everything, taking pauses to catch my breath and let her take in what I was telling her.
"... And I don't know, it all just happened so fast, it was as if I wasn't in charge if my body. Like another girl took over." I looked down and tears started to fall again. Cara reached over and grabbed my hand.
"Well did you at least use protection?"
I smiled a little bit, "obviously. I'm not that stupid." Cara let out a laugh and pulled me in for a hug. I still didn't feel good about any of it, but I felt better after talking to Cara. I just didn't know how I was going to face Luke, Ashton, or especially Nate.