I spent the rest of the week with Cara, as planned. If she was going to hang out with Mikey and the other guys, I stayed back. If Nate called or texted, I ignored it. I felt a little bad, but I couldn't face any of them. But then the weekend came. Nate was back from visiting his family in Memphis and was back in Nashville.
"There's my baby girl, I missed you!" Nate wrapped his arms around me and I did the same.
"I missed you too..."
We sat down on my bed and I couldn't look him in the eye. Tears were starting to form again. "I did a bad thing. And before I tell you, I just want you to know that I feel horrible and that's why I was kind of distant this past week. And I just want you to know that I love you so much and I understand if you don't forgive me." My voice broke and the tears were starting to fall harder. Nate's eyes softened a little and got watery. "I... I..."
"I kissed Luke then slept with Ashton..." My eyes widened and I covered my mouth. But there was no turning back now, he knew. And he got up and walked right out. "Nate? Nate! NATHAN!" I followed him out of my house and grabbed his arms.
"Get away from me!" He raised his voice and moved his arm from my grip.
"Don't yell at me!"
"Why?! You cheated on me. Twice."
"I know and I'm sorry!" Nate rolled his eyes and walked out. I slid my back against the door and started sobbing. I screwed everything up and I couldn't fix it. I ran to Cara's house again and ran straight to her room. One look and she knew exactly what had happened. I stood in the doorway as my best friend held me and comforted me.
After a good half hour of me screaming and crying, there was a knock at the door. Cara opened it and then came back to me.
"El? There's someone here who wants to see you..." I got up and looked out the door.
"I'm sorry for just popping in like that."
"Don't be." The entire car ride was awkward and silent, with just a few of my sniffles filling the air. Luke had parked his car and we sat in silence for a little. I opened the car door and got out.
"But I have to ask... Was it a mistake?"
"No. I feel bad about it, but I don't regret it. Any of it." We walked in the cold air and Luke just nodded his head.
"I feel bad."
"Why? It was one innocent kiss. He wouldn't have minded that. The problem was sleeping with Ashton." We got to a bench by a pond and we sat down. Silence lingered a little longer. I sighed and watched the ripples of the pond. "Can I ask you something?"
"Will you be my friend?"
"Will you be my friend? You know, someone to talk to when I'm sad, someone who can cheer me up, someone I can come to for anything and everything. A friend." I realized I had just flat out friendzoned him, but I needed a friend. Sure Cara and Taylor were my friends, but having a guy friend is different. And since I lost Nate, I had no guy friends.
"Of course." He grabbed my hand. "I'll always be your friend." I smiled and rested my head on his shoulder. We sat in silence again for a while, but it was a good silence, peaceful.
I asked Luke to take me back to Cara's house. I couldn't go back home, I couldn't face my mom or my brother and sister. There would be questions and more crying, and I was done with all that. "Thank you, Luke. I really needed that."
"Anytime." He pulled me in for a hug and I gave him a tiny kiss on the cheek. He blushed and shyly walked back to the car.
"For the record, no it wasn't a mistake. None of it was." I saw him smile a little bit as he got in the car and I walked into Cara's room.