Niall felt shared in two parts. Okay, maybe he had feelings for Harry, but at the same time it was so new. How was it that Niall only readily became gay? He had no idea that guys could be interesting, but still attracted Harry him. It felt so natural to have sex, and it was wonderful. Somehow Harry had really shown what he felt about Niall and it felt strange that someone could love him. Niall couldn't help but feel butterflies in the belly and he looked at Harry with new eyes. It was as if the younger guy had changed.
Niall woke up in the morning and felt Harry lying near his back. He held tight his arms around Niall and snored against his cheek. It was wonderful, but at the same time so odd. Niall hardly dared to move and he wondered if Harry would soon wake up.
Finally woke Harry up and directly he kissed Niall in the neck.
"Good morning, love."
Niall didn't know what his would answer. He liked that Harry was so close to him, but at the same time not. Think if he was utilized and think if Harry just have sex as the payment. There was still a chance that that was the truth.
"I love waking up close to you." continued Harry and spun Niall around so that he ended up on his back. Niall swallowed and met his gaze. There was only love in his eyes and Niall was almost ashamed that he doubted him.
"Well yes ..." Niall got out. Harry laughed and kissed him. He lay down on top of Niall and rubbed his face with both hands. When he had finished the kiss, he looked straight into Nialls eyes and showed just how happy he was.
"What do you want to do today?"
Niall didn't know what to say or respond.
Harry laughed again and let his hands slide over Nialls face and hair. Harry looked at him with new eyes and Niall could do nothing but blush easily.
"Maybe we should continue training so that your parents think I'm rich?"
Harry sighed and showed that it was a boring idea.
"You know the basics, so we put it on the shelf today."
"But I will make a fool of myself."
Harry shook directly on his head and kissed Niall lightly on his nose.
"They will love you as much as I love you."
"Should we tell them that we are .... together?"
Direct Harry became serious and seemed almost frightened at the thought.
"Niall, we can't show it openly. Not yet!"
It sounded strange in Nialls ears, but perhaps that Harry had a good reason? Harry hesitated before the answering.
"No one but mom knows I'm gay. She doesn't like the idea, and she doesn't want me to coming out of the closet as long as she lives."
Niall frowned. Okay it was a good cause, but wasn't it Harry who wasn't afraid of his parents?
"So your mom knows but doesn't want to know?"
Harry nodded weakly.
"I know I'm a coward, but I promise that one day we will be open, but not now."
Niall gulped and tried to think like Harry. Maybe his parents were still quite similar Nialls dad, although they didn't fight with him? It sounded funny that rich people had such views of their sons, but Niall didn't want to question Harry.
"Okay!" he got out of it. "We keep it a secret?"
As soon as they had put on their clothes, Harry's mobile rang and Niall heard it was his mom. Harry sounded more adult in his voice and he was numb all over.
"Yes mom!" he got out and seemed to answer questions. "One more thing, I have a friend who lives here for some time. His home was burning up and I lend him a room."
Niall didn't like that lie, but he didn't dare to contradict. It was Niall who was the guest and therefore he couldn't make demands.
"Well he's okay!" Harry continued. "And his parents are in Italy right now on vacation for six months., It will work out when they're coming home again."
"So you lied?" Niall got disappointed when Harry was done talking. Harry nodded slightly and looked down at the floor.
"I know I'm being dishonest, but I have no choice."
Niall sighed and decided to go downstairs to the kitchen. He didn't know how to be in a relationship, but he knew that you shouldn't lye about the feelings in front of others. Perhaps they had two different opinions on how to behave in a relationship?
"Sorry!" Harry got out and followed him. "But I have no income more than from my parents. I have nothing else that can give me this life."
Niall didn't like Harry's thoughts.
"So you mean that I have a choice?"
Harry sighed and got Niall to stop and stand still.
"Please, you mustn't be angry with me!"
Niall looked at Harry that he was heartbroken, but still everything felt so wrong.
"Are you ashamed that I am who I am?"
Harry shook his head.
"No, that's what makes you unique and I love you with all my heart."
Niall gulped and looked at Harry for a while.
"So tell your parents that you love me?"
Harry looked down at the floor and shook his head.
"You can't? But you can seduce me and desire me?"
Harry sighed and shook his head.
"It's not the same thing!"
Niall gulped and turned with the entire body what he felt.
"Well it's the same thing. If you love a person, your proud and showcasing him for all. You are ashamed of me and you are ashamed of being gay."
Harry almost started to cry.
"Well maybe a little, but I'm ashamed only of myself."
Niall needed to think. He had to untangle himself and think about what he would approve. Would he act like it wasn't anything, as Harry did? Did he wanted to be gay and did he loved Harry?