escape from tragity.

This is the story of the abused and the confused.

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2. dress for distress

 

i might of told you this already but tallin has abusive parents that are fighting all the time. i feel like when he is here with me he is safe.

he always sais that one day he will leave and never come back. like about two years ago he asked me if i would run away with him, then

i liked him but dident love him so i said if he paid to get me a burger i would. but now if he asked i would say that i will follow him into a fire if he needed me to. i feel awkward when i think of that though. i look over at tallin and imagine how he  lives through all this stuff he is in. he gets bullied at school, at home and annywhere eles i can think of besides in my basement. i know why, he is a fighter. thats why, my fighter. well not all mine but i feel safe when i say that so i dont care. i need all the saftey i can get. i have never felt so un pretected the past week before me and tallin got together. its hard to take this all in at once but its not as much stress as a normal teen goes through. annyways right now sitting beside tallin playing video games make me feel like the luckiest girl in the world right now. god i am so in love with him and i cant stop thinking about him and he is all i have thought about  for the last 4 days and i..... omg i dont have a prom dress!!! i dialed my 2 bffs and boom. tomorow is saturday and saturday is dress day!!!! i cant whait to see what they have. while tallin plays his turn on the game i sit beside him and scetch in my scetchbook. he puts his arm around me and i smile. i tell him that i love him and told him im going dress shoping with alice. feonna is going to the movies with cloe and her bf and cloes bf. feonna is dating cloes brother thats the only reason that feonna talks to cloe ever. annyways right after i told him he said ok then my mom yelled at me to come upstaires this instand so i squeeze out of tallins arms and sneek upstaires. she and my dad are staring at the tv and she sais that the three gangs r back in town and that i cant go dress shoping without a armed adult. also she said for me to tel tallin and that he needs to go home. i went and told him and he said ok and left. i walk into my room and i feel lonley. not the normal lonley.like scared and cold and i feel like noones home so i run around and get like 4 other blankets and snuggle into all of them on my bed and open my computor and message tallin. i fall asleep in ten seconds and wake up and run into the basement and tell alice that we need an armed adult to come or i cant go but when i look at my phone and she has already texted me that her dad is coming in his suit. he is a cop by the way so il tell my mom and she will be fine with that hopefuly. i text her ok and then i go take a long,warm,relaxing shower and just relax. when i get out its time for lunch already so i go downstaires and eat a bunch of chips and then call tallin. i tell him that im going dress shoping in an hur and that his tux is at his dry cleaners under the name mr.prom and i already paid so u dont need to worry. he sais ok then he sais he has to go and we say bye and i call alice. she said that she will pick me up in ten minutes and i hung up and got dressed. then i herd a beep and ran out the door yelling bye mom see u at five thirty. i hear a light ok and i slam the door and hop into her car. we drive for about three seconds and we are there. i look around and see a shiny one shoulder gold dress that would go up to your knees and right then a girls hand went for it and i slapped the hand , grabbed it and ran to alice and told her its perfect for her and then she pulled out a strapples dress  with a puffy but not too much poof skirt to it and it had the coolest designe. we tried them on and omg  we look so pretty. we ran to the frount desk to get them and right when her dad walked up to the counter to pay for alices dress we herd four gun shots then shortly after police cars then one more shot and we just ran for the truck with the dresses and went to alices house til the news was on  that said they where captered so they drove me home and when i got in my house  i found my mom on the floor shot dead and i herd my dad screetching for air and i ran over and he said with his last breath that my bigger brother is going to be in chardge of me so i dont need to go to foster care then i grabbed his head and placed it on my lap and sung his favorite song. “ right now it seems to be dark in this place of ours. then the night will pass by and we will be ok because the day will never fade away for we will always be together together forever.” as i watched his eyes close i now have tears in my eyes yet i will not stop singing til its over .” i hope forever will never meet an end for my love is true and i love you we will stay together forever forever forever forever.” i never knew what the futer held until i saw your face and the i knew we would be..... i dont know the last bit of the song because my dad always ssung the last words. i now place him and my mom side by side. couver them with a blanket and call 911 so i dont feel like i killed them. but i somehow wish i would have been there to save there lives. now im stuck with my big brother tomas and he is always gone and when he is here  he is eather drunk or hungover or mad. at least that is how i remember him. i never reealy knew him much . he never visits and he hates that his mom left dad. my mom is not his. we have the same dad but different moms and he just hates seeing her so when he hears about this i bet he will be happy its all over. the police come in and all they see is my dead parents infrount of me couvered by a white blanket and my sitting in a corner crying my eyes out because now, now tallin dousint have a safe place. my brother hates him and will never let me see him.my life just went from good to the point that i am thinking of how good death sounds. but i could never do that to talllin, we are in love and i would never break his heart. one of the police come over to me and ask if im ok. i say to make them into ashes and deliver them back here by the end of the month please and no im not ok. my parents just died if you look on the floor. do you know how HARD IT IS TO SING YOUR FATHER TO HIS DEATH. DO YOU? I DONT THINK SO BUDDY I BET YOUR DAD IS IN HIS HOME RELAXING ISINT HE? WELL MY DAD JUST DIED WITH HIS HEAD ON MY LAP. SO DO YOU THINK ID BE OK?? oh my goodness im sorry i just... its ok its ok i understand. i saw tears in the police officers eyes and i knew he understood. i went to my room and told alice and feonna what happend and went to bed. i just need to sleep it off.the next morning i hear a door bell. i look and its tomas. i oppen the door and he looks worse than ever. he is red faced with tears coming out of his eyes. he gives me a big hug and takes his things to his old room. me and him go to there room and pray to them in hopes that they made it up there safely and then he moved his bed into my room and we slept in the same room ever since he became my guardien. we close our parents door and we hear the door bell. it was there ashes. we desided to go and put half of each of there ashes into the river where they met. then we put the other halfs together in a urn and we put it on a table in the middle of there room with my favorite picture of them together  by two candles. thats where we pray to them once a week and we also go and talk to them if we need. we kiss the picture before we go to sleep and blow out the candles and go to sleep. annyways today is the end of the long weekend so im back to school. everyones staring at me when i walk through the door. but not bad staring . its the kind where people are saying sorry for your loss with there eyes not there mouthes. no one picked on my today at least and neather was tallin. so today was the worst yet best day ever for me, and theres manny more to come. but at the moment all i care about is trying to forget the image of my dead mom and dad couverd with a bloady white blanket from neack to feet on the kitchen floor with me humming a tune crying in a corner in frount of them.i just cant whait to talk to them tonight about how people are acting at school.yet never getting a responce, ever , ever again. my brother has met some friends his age so i think he has forgot all about them because last night he came home at 1 am and fell asleep right where they died. when i woke up i thought he was dead too but he was just hungover. here comes the old tomas,drunk druggy tomas. same as the friends he has discoverd witch are ex gangsters. great some more bad influinces hanging around my family, just great. now i have way more to pray to my parents about. since he wont annymore i need to keep up with mine. i dont thonk tomas will ever understand how i feel because he hasint needed parents for six years so he dousint know how i feel. anyways tallin walks over at lunch and asks me if im ok and i tell him everything that happend. the shoting the brother trouble. everything, then he asks me how dress shoping went and i said it went terific til i got home. he just walks away and two minutes later he comes back with a necklace with a little locket on it and inside theres a picture of my mom and dad on on each side. he said the pictures where from camping at the lake last year when we brought him and my dad kept getting pushed in the lake thats why he is wet in the picture. i giggle and then couver my mouth. i have not even been close to laphing ever since my parents died. im so happy that i have him or i couldent live another day. And I don’t want to end up like adam...

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