My little secret

Arielle Malik was as close to her brother as two people could possibly be. That was until the one night that caused her to change drastically. After months of being depressed and pushing everyone away, Zayn is extremely frustrated by his failed attempts to not only comfort her, but to have her confide in him about what it is that happened. When Arielle is finally ready to recover, and her mother arranges for her to tour with her brother's band for a few months, things may spiral out of control in more ways than just one...


11. 10

I spend the whole concert in the back, playing around with different things I can find in Harry’s dressing room. He told me that I could hang out in here and do whatever I want, so I did. Most of the time I am texting Vi back at home, explaining everything that has happened on tour so far.

After a long few hours, I hear the boys clambering backstage and I walk out to meet them. They take only a half hour to change and meet their fans before we can go back to the hotel for the night. When we arrive, Liam grabs a towel and declares that he is going to take a shower.

“Alright. I’m going to grab something to eat downstairs,” I say so that he might think that I am not starving myself. He delivers me a proud smile before stepping into the bathroom.

I leave the room with my phone and room key and ride the elevator down to the lobby. When I get there, I head into the buffet room and look around for the smallest thing to eat. I end up with a petite bowl of steamed broccoli.

I practically inhale it and am dying for more, but that is just what the fans want me to do. Get fatter. I stroll back upstairs and walk into Liam freshly out of the shower with only in a towel around his waist. I quickly turn around and cover my eyes.

“I’m sorry. I’ll just wait outside,” I say, swinging my hand around and trying to find the door handle.

“That’s alright. I’ll just grab my clothes and change in the bathroom,” he says nonchalantly.

I feel so embarrassed. I just walked in on him half-naked even though he shrugs it off as nothing. I hear the bathroom door close and go to grab some clothes from my case. I wait by the the door until Liam comes out, and then head in and change myself. When I come back out, I find he is already asleep. I turn off the lights and climb into my bed, instantly falling asleep as well.

“Ryder, stop!” I continue to cry as he just kisses my neck and trails his hands up my thighs.

I gather up all my strength and push him off the side of the bed. He hits the floor with a thump and I stand up groggily. I try and make my way to the door, but Ryder spins me around and backs me into a wall.

“You ugly bitch! You think you can push me like that?” he screams as I try not to faint.

He picks me up and carries me back to the bed where he rips off my dress, leaving me in my bra and underwear.

"Stop" I cry, but he begins to take off my clothes.“

I jolt awake and sit up straight in my bed. My breathing is heavy, but I am surprisingly not crying. Liam is sitting on the edge of the bed, looking horrified.

“I just had a nightmare. I'm okay,” I explain, trying to calm down.

“Are you sure? You were screaming about someone called Ryder,” he says, his brows furrowed.

“I’m sure. Good night, Liam,” I end the conversation as I flop over so that I face the opposite direction, completely ignoring his comment about Ryder.

"You know you can talk to me, right? I won't tell anybody or judge you," he whispers sadly.

"I know," I reply without elaborating.

He sighs before turning the light off and climbing back into his bed.

“Good night, Arielle,” he coos quietly before I hear him snore lightly.

Again, not being able to sleep, I head out onto the balcony and just wait for the sun to rise. At about eight in the morning, Liam walks out and sits down next to me.

“We have to be on the bus in about an hour,” he says without making eye contact.

I can tell he is still confused and worried about earlier, but I am glad he doesn’t push on the subject. I have been trying my best to forget the incident, but very often it comes back to me in dream form. It’s as if my mind wants to hold on to the memory at all costs.

“Okay,” I say simply as I walk back inside to take a shower.

I change and do my hair as quickly as I can. I walk back out and gather up my things before finding that I have another fifteen minutes before we have to go. I figure I might as well get my stuff onto the bus. I look around and just now notice that Liam has also gotten dressed and left with his things.

On my way out to the bus, I hand my room key to the front desk and thank them for their service. I catch a glimpse of the boys at breakfast and find them all fooling around except for Niall and Zayn, who both sit quietly in the corner, not touching their food.

I hand my bag off to one of the guards and go lay down in one of the bunks again. I feel bad about Zayn, but why is Niall so upset? It can’t just be because he can’t hang out with me. I’m not that big of a deal. He could probably find some girl way cooler and hotter than me to spend time with any day.

After a few minutes, the boys come into the bus talking. I hear a curtain closing and know that it is Zayn again. I climb out of my bed and head out to see them all. They all turn to me and quickly simmer down.

“I brought you a bagel,” Liam offers, breaking the silence and pointing to the plate on the table. “I saw you didn’t eat breakfast so I thought you might like it.”

“Thanks,” I utter simply and sit down at its place.

The boys seem satisfied with this as they carry on their conversation. I hear a loud roar of the engine and we are suddenly moving, off to our next destination. I just stare at the food in front of me. So many carbs, but I am so starved. I catch Louis looking at me and I slowly pick up the bagel and take a bite to please him.

He waits for me to swallow it before he looks away. When none of them are looking, I toss the bagel in the trash and grab my phone. Before I can open up my Twitter, Harry walks over and grabs the device from me.

“Hey,” I proclaim, turning around.

“You’re not going on Twitter,” he states, walking back over to his spot and playing around on the device for a few moments before handing it off to Louis, who delivers it to me.

I try to unlock it, but it tells me that my passcode is incorrect. I try again. I could’ve sworn that was my passcode.

“I changed it,” Harry answers my unasked question as I look at him dubiously.

“You are not going onto your Twitter,” Louis repeats firmly.

“And we saw you throw away your bagel,” Liam adds matter-of-factly.

I look at each of their serious faces and frown. They all stare at me except for Niall who looks down as he did yesterday.

“Arielle, you aren’t fat! You are freaking hot!” Harry screams, making me cross my arms over my chest, sure he is just mocking me.

“He’s telling the truth,” Liam pipes up.

I begin to feel slightly better about myself for a moment, but then I remember that they are just trying to get me to eat so I won’t starve.

“You are just saying that so I will eat,” I say, not making eye contact with any of them.

I wait a few moments before looking up and seeing the shock on each of their faces. Especially Niall’s. He looks like someone just told him he’s actually adopted.

“Don’t you dare say that!” he screams, anger coming into his face as he stands up. “You are so perfect it hurts, Arielle! You dare to think you are too fat... or a whore... or whatever the fuck else? Those dumb ass bitches are jealous, don’t you understand?”

I just sit there, slightly afraid of Niall. By the time he finishes yelling, he is standing and pointing his finger in my face. The fury is obvious in his features and the rest of the boys and I stare at him with our mouths hanging open in shock. Without saying another word, he climbs into one of the bunks and closes the curtain. I don’t even move.

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