The last thing I remember is someone singing to me. I have that horrible dream again I never remember what is but its terrifying when I'm having it. I heard myself scream and I looked up and saw Niall, he looked at me
"how long have you been havin nightmares?" I looked into his eyes, and decided I couldn't make him worried again
"awhile" I said, I don't know if he heard me or not it was so quiet. "I..I'm sorry" my eyes start watering again
"for what?" He answered with a worried expression.
"For being a fuck up and making everyone else feel shitty" I started crying once again as he frowned slightly and pulled me into his chest again.
I grabbed his shirt tightly and pulled my head away as I realized his shirt was wet with my tears, I jumped back.
"See!" I yelled, "all I do is screw up" He tried to grab me but I scooted back, his eyes were getting glazed over but I could see him holding back so I wouldn't get upset again. "Can I have my razor back?" I whispered.
"Can I have my razor back?" Matty asked in a small voice, as I felt my heart broke.
"No. No you can't." I said as I threw it in the loo and flushed.
Matty screamed then ran to the loo, I grabbed him from the back as he reached for the bathroom bag. He fought against me, thankfully, I had been working out so I was stronger.
I felt tears well in my eyes.
"Stop! Stop! Matty, stop! Please stop!" I screamed trying to be heard above his screams.
By this time I had tears falling down face. He brought his elbow back and crushed it down into my stomach, all the air whooshed out of me. Yet I still turned around and pinned him against the wall with his arms at his sides. His face was bright red, and he was fighting so hard against me.
"Stop! Just stop!" I screamed.
"No! I need my blade!" He screamed at me, and I swallowed a sob.
" Well I need you and I won't let you hurt yourself!" I yell back.
"I don't care! I hate you! I hate you damn it!" He screamed at me and I choked on a sob.
"I...I.. I don't care.. I love you." I said while looking at him throught tear filled eyes.