Twisted Love

We all know the medias version of One Direction, the cameras version of Matthew Lush and Nick Laws. But do you know who they really are? Their fears? Pain? Trials? Scars? Well now you can. --- Note: this is all fiction. None of it is true.


14. A helping hand.

A helping hand.

Matthew's POV

I just sat there. I didn't cry. I just sat. Have you ever had that moment where you just think, and feel like living just isn't worth it? Ya, that's exactly how I felt right then, like a failure, I can't do anything right, I never have, and never will. I slowly stood up and walked back towards the bathroom, I didn't close the door yet, I just sat on the floor in the exact spot I had been before and I just thought, about everything. What if I wasn't gay? What if Nick was never my boyfriend? What if I never met Niall? That would all suck, but I deserved all the pain that I received. I went over to the sink and grabbed the bag I stuffed the razor down, and dug through it. I found the razor and shut the door, then locked it this time just in case. I sat back down and grabbed more toilet paper on the way, this time I rolled up the opposite sleeve and I cut. 1 for being gay, 1 for being a fuck up, 1 for hurting Nick, 1 for hurting Niall, and about 10 more for good measure, I stood up slowly, feeling slightly light headed and rinsed off my arm with cold water, wincing when it touched my skin, I jumped when I heard a loud banging against the door.

"Shit" I threw the blade away and ran towards the toilet and flushed it.

" Im just peeing!!" I yelled as I opened the door. Harry gasped and I followed his eyes down, I forgot to roll down my sleeve.


Harry's P.O.V.

I limped slightly to the bathroom, having to wee. I turned the knob, and frowned when it wouldn't turn, it was locked. We never locked the doors, ever. I pounded on the door slightly worried.

"Shit." I heard Matthew mumble on the other side then. "I'm just peeing!" He yelled.

I listened and heard nothing. I was about to bang again when the door opened. I looked at Matthew and saw his blood shot eyes, and sweat beading at his forehead. I narrowed my eyes, he was hiding something. My eyes travelled down his body and I gasped as I saw about 15 fresh cuts, that were bleeding slightly. I felt the familiar itch on my wrist, calling for a blade. I pushed it down and grabbed his arm, and pulled him back into the bathroom.

"Why?" I asked and grabbed the alcohol, I put his arm above the sink. "This is going to hurt, but it will ease the yearning of wanting to cut..." I said and quickly dumped the alcohol on his cuts.

Matthew yelped, his eyes wide with pain, but he slowly breathed out a shaky breath..

"Why?" I asked again, as I rinsed his arm off.

"I...I..I just can't take it anymore." He mumbled, as I grabbed the gauze and wrapped his arm.

"Can't take what?" I said meeting his eyes for the first time, I wiped some stray tears away with the pad of my thumb.

"E..Everything.." He started sobbing.

I wrapped him into a hug, while rubbing his back gently. "Shh, Shh, I know it's hard. I know. You're strong though." I said letting him go and putting my hands on his shoulder, then locked eyes with him . "I can tell."

"But...But... How did you know about the alcohol." He said clearly trying to change the subject.

I stiffened. And let out a sigh. I quickly pulled my shirt above my head revealing scars on my chest then took the ponytails off my wrist revealing more scars.

" this is how I know it gets better. I know for a fact, you will win this. You will beat it, whatever this is is." I said, my voice strong, yet gentle.

He stared at my scars, and his lips quivered. He walked toward me and traced a scar that said "fag" and I let out a shaky breath, and I grabbed his hand.

"Why? Harry? Why would you do that to yourself, you're a beautiful person. And you have amazing talent!" He yelled.

"I know this now. Now it's time for you to learn that." I said as I slipped my shirt back over my head.

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