So cold. So, so cold. As I open my eyes, loneliness and emptiness shrivels up and down inside my still body. I look up and see the dark stars lighting up my surroundings with my arms beside me. I start counting them one by one, expressing their beautiful appearances until they start disappearing. They start fading into the midnight sky, every single one of them. I close my eyes and open them quickly making sure I was seeing things right; all I saw was a dark sky, no stars.
When I force myself to sit up, in the distance I see smoke. The kind of smoke that you can smell and hear from a mile away. the kind of smoke that instantly puts a sudden pain in your chest.
Before I know it, I'm sprinting towards the smoke not knowing where I am or who I am. My name, what is it? My mind starts racing just as fast as I am running.
I keep running but I cannot reach the smoke; it feels like I'm getting farther and farther away from it with every sprint I take.
My lungs are about to explode so I slow down to catch my breath and bend over my knees. My mind is aching with the thought of where I am and who I am; I don't remember anything that has happened in the past or present.
As I lift my head up, sweaty curls falling over my head, I squint my eyes to see far into the distance. I don't see the smoke anymore, a little teenage boy is what my green eyes take in.
I stand up straight and yell, "Hey!" Nothing.
"Can you even hear me?" I yell louder.
He doesn't say anything but I see a movement in his head. He tilts it to the left on his shoulder and whispers, "Why did you do it Harry? Why did you do this to me? You knew I wasn't safe in that car, you knew you were drunk."
It was a whisper but even though he was in the distance, I could hear him clearly and I wish I hadn't.
I shake my head in disagreement, "No! No, I don't know what you're talking about!" I yell.
The little boy starts walking towards me, "You should have never taken me to that party with you." He is now running towards me, I try to run away down the road but there is a force that stops me. "I was all alone with nobody to take care of me, I warned you that you shouldn't be driving while you were drunk." The street lights burn out with a pain that strikes me while he is now blocking me from going anywhere. I start seeing the scars on his body with his clothes ripped up and every single scar gushing out blood.
I recognized his golden blonde hair that was dripping out blood just like sweat drips from your face. His hazel-gray eyes, the way his freckles glide across the bridge of his nose, and that silly old blue sweatshirt that he always wears. Ethan.
"I warned you Harry and you didn't do anything about it."
"Ethan!" I cry out, trying to grab him by the shoulders but my fingers slip right through him, leaving me empty handed.
"You left me in the passenger seat of your truck with me yelling at you to stop the car." He continues, a tear rolling down his face.
"Stop it! Stop it now!" I scream at him while I cover my head with my arms and sink to the ground.
"It's all your fault."
I close my eyes so that I can't see or hear him anymore. It seemed to be working from the absolute silence that surrounded me.
I open my eyes and jump to the setting that I am now in. I can't breathe, I'm sweating from terror, my lungs feel swollen and I am still very cold. I gasp for breath and hold onto my throat.
That dream, that nightmare.
It felt so real, so believable I think while I catch my breath and smell a familiar smell. I sit up and realize that I am in the backseat of my truck. I must have fallen asleep from the...the... I look out the window to see a big house with drunk people, plastic cups laying across the lawn, music blasting, the party.