Dealing With Death

Sequel to The Reason Sirius Doesn't Love Anymore. It has been six years since Belief's death and everyone is in their seventh year. Sirius still isn't the same. James and Lily are officially together and Severus is no longer tolerated by anyone but the Slytherins.


4. Return to School

Sirius waited outside for his friends to return.  He was in a terrible mood.  They were all together, they had caught up on the train back to Hogwarts.  James, Lily, Peter, and Remus went up him.  For a second Sirius saw Belief walking there with them, smiling at him, but he blinked and she disappeared.  Lily hugged him and James patted him on the back.

"How are you doing?" Lily asked pulling away

"I'm alright," Sirius lied

"Sirius," James pleaded

"I'm fine," Sirius growled

"Alright," James sighed and walked away, Lily right behind

"Peter," Remus looked at him, "Please go with James and Lily,"

"Okay," Peter looked back and forth between them, then left

"Sirius," Remus turned back to Sirius, "I know you aren't alright.  We all know you aren't alright, but the only way any of us can help you is if you open up.  Don't you dare tell me that you don't want help, I know that even if it is deep in your soul and only there, you want help.  You need to tell us how to help you.  We don't know you as well as we could.  She took that away, I know she couldn't help it, but you aren't the same.  You don't care as much about others.  And with the way you're acting, Sirius Black, you may never love anyone again!"

"Good," Sirius said gruffly and turned away

Remus sighed, knowing he wasn't going to get anywhere with him.  Sirius walked back into the school, turned a few corners and went up to the dormitory that he shared with James, Remus, and Peter.  Remus followed, closely and quietly, behind.

They were all there.  Peter, James, Lily, and Remus.  Sirius wanted desperately to be alone, but he never really would be.  She was constantly there, and so were they.

"Can she leave you alone?" Sirius snapped

James' eyes widened and Lily began to whimper.

"She's constantly around you.  You'd think she'd be able to find other friends, I mean she moved on so easily when Be-, when she died.  Honestly." Sirius snarled

"Sirius!" James began to lose his patience, "Do you want to know why she's always here?  Why we are always here?  Or do you just not care about anyone else but yourself?  Sirius Black, you are so cruel, so cruel to not only us but to yourself!"

"Am I the cruel one?  Really?  I think she could have a life outside of being your girlfriend.  That's what normal people would do, but no, she has to always be there!" Sirius shouted

"Sirius!  She's always here because she cares, like us she cares.  This isn't about me, Sirius, this is about you.  You scare her, you scare us.  Darn it, Sirius!  We're afraid you're going to do something stupid that you won't be able to regret.  We're afraid you'll do something that afterward, you won't be here to regret doing it!" James yelled

"What?" Sirius stopped, "What do you think I'm going to do?  Kill myself?  I'm not that depressed.  I can take care of myself."

"I'm glad you think that, but we aren't going to leave you to wallow in pity." James replied his tone now calm

"I wish you would," Sirius said, his voice barely above a whisper

"I know," Lily replied hugging him, "I know."

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