Midnight Letters

Letters to him. Written usually in the middle of the night.


2. January 23, 2014

I saw a picture of you tonight. It made me think of all the times we'd been through and I cried. How could you just walk away like that? Is this what you wanted in the end? Did you want to break my heart in half? Did you want me to feel like I did something wrong? "Say something I'm giving up on you. I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you. Anywhere I would've followed you." That's how I feel about you. Also, "you're the one that I love, and I'm saying goodbye." I wish we would still talk. I miss it. I loved it. No matter how I tried to deny it to my friends, I loved it... And you. Why would you give this up? Is this real? Are you okay? Do you not miss me? Is it something I did? Was it something I said? "I keep replaying the last few months in my head, trying to pinpoint the exact moment I lost you. I just wanted to let you know, these were the best years of my life." Where are you? Why would you just walk away? Why did this happen? God I wish you were here. I pretend that I don't like you in front of my friends but I'd do almost anything for you. How did you get this deep under my skin. And then you just left. My friends think your gay. I don't. I know better. I just want to feel your lips on mine again. Is this how it ends? Is this how WE end? If so, just know, I love you with everything I have.

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