8. Mind off the pain
School is a living hell and i hate the person who decided to put all the children into one place all day five days a week, because it was hell. Each night i would come home tired just wanting to sleep so all the pain could disappear for a while. But no it's apparently not normal to go to sleep at 4 pm so I would go on Facebook or Twitter and be teased online.
I know, I know why didn't I turn it off or tell someone. Simple because my family already thought something was wrong with me and i didn't need anymore attention from them or they would put cameras in my room or give me a bodyguard. Ok maybe i was over reacting about the cameras and bodyguard but they would be watching me constantly and i don't want that!
There would be things like 'your ugly, fat no one will ever love you and go kill yourself.' The thing was I agreed with all of the things being said about me, and it hurt knowing that they were right. I had to take the pain away somehow...so I cut.
I would try to take the pain away other ways like drawing, getting caught up in TV shows, going for runs, listen to music. You name it i tried so hard not to cut but nothing would work so i cut. Then when the cuts weren't helping, I gave in and did what they told me so many times and killed myself.
*I'm here to help*