Thoughts of a Dead Girl

Hi I'm a 16 year old girl, and I don't care about looks or how I act or even what I say or do because of one good reason... I'm dead. Yeah I know what your thinking. "Why would you do that? Your so young! You had your whole life ahead of you and you threw it all away!" But my life was a hell to me and to properly explain what was going though my head I'm going to show you some of my thoughts. So here's a dead girls thoughts. *This book mentions cutting and suicide*

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8. Mind off the pain

School is a living hell and i hate the person who decided to put all the children into one place all day five days a week, because it was hell. Each night i would come home tired just wanting to sleep so all the pain could disappear for a while. But no it's apparently not normal to go to sleep at 4 pm so I would go on Facebook or Twitter and be teased online.

I know, I know why didn't I turn it off or tell someone. Simple because my family already thought something was wrong with me and i didn't need anymore attention from them or they would put cameras in my room or give me a bodyguard. Ok maybe i was over reacting about the cameras and bodyguard but they would be watching me constantly and i don't want that!

There would be things like 'your ugly, fat no one will ever love you and go kill yourself.' The thing was I agreed with all of the things being said about me, and it hurt knowing that they were right. I had to take the pain away somehow...so I cut.

I would try to take the pain away other ways like drawing, getting caught up in TV shows, going for runs, listen to music. You name it i tried so hard not to cut but nothing would work so i cut. Then when the cuts weren't helping, I gave in and did what they told me so many times and killed myself.

 

 

*I'm here to help*

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