Thoughts of a Dead Girl

Hi I'm a 16 year old girl, and I don't care about looks or how I act or even what I say or do because of one good reason...
I'm dead.
Yeah I know what your thinking. "Why would you do that? Your so young! You had your whole life ahead of you and you threw it all away!"
But my life was a hell to me and to properly explain what was going though my head I'm going to show you some of my thoughts.
So here's a dead girls thoughts.

*This book mentions cutting and suicide*


7. Food

All though primary school I got picked on called names I don't want to repeat, but one of the two names that affected me the most was 'fat.' I was always worried of my weight afraid of being too big. So when they called me fat it just confirmed that I was fat. I started dieting, faking to eat things for breakfast and lunch by taking them out the fridge and putting them in the bin so my mum would think I'm still eating. But the worse meal of the day was dinner because we would all sit around the table and eat. I hated it. 

I had to eat everything off my plate before I could leave. Then once I had finished my meal I would go to my room and have to cope with my stomach twisting and turning within me trying to get rid of the food. But I couldn't throw it up because that would make me bulimic and then my mother would be very 'disappointed'. Which means she would lecture me and watch me every second of every day to make sure I'm eating and that it stays down, and I didn't want that. 

So what I lied about what I ate for the last 5 years of my life, I was fat and I wanted to loose weight.

I'm dead now what does it matter that I didn't eat much.



*I'm here to help*


*Note from co-author

By the way,

if anybody tells you that you are fat.


You are beautiful just the way you are.

And nobody can tell you otherwise.

They do not know ANYTHING!!!


and cecil your not fat either.

YOU ARE THE BEST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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