I walked through the door at half past 4 and not one person was waiting to yell at me for being late, maybe their beginning to stop caring too.
As i walked to my room, i realized how tired i was and as soon as my head hit the pillow i was out like a light. Until the nightmare started.
i was about 5 or 6, i remember hiding under my brothers cot from John, My mum and him were fighting again,when she storms into the room I'm hiding in, i thought she didn't know where i was until she turned around and looked me dead in the eyes from across the room and said
"'If the police ask he did this" and she grabbed a flat packed chair and started hitting the walls, i remember that was one moment i thought my mum had completely lost it, until John came in, i've never seen her so terrified, he punched her, again and again and again until the police finally arrived and stopped him but by than my mum was a mess, missing 2 teeth, instant bruising all over her face, and broken down again, the last thing i see before i wake up is tears runnung down my mothers face.
I woke with a start, my face was damp and so was my bedding, i felt sick remembering in such detail, those horrible nightmares are why i started drinking it keeps them away, so many times I have watched that happen, so many times I've wanted to hurt him for hurting her. more and more memories keep flooding through until i cant take it anymore, i put my head under the pillow and tried to suffocate myself, after a non-success attempt i was able to think straight again, lock all those memories back up in the box they came from.