I lay awake, staring at the dark ceiling above me.
"I bet you're still a virgin."
His voice mocked me. Like he would know! Like he would know anything about what happened! Harry's always so confident, so cocky. He reminded me alot of a person who I used to know. A person who almost ruined my life because i let him.
The small pitter-patter of cat paws sounded on the wood floor, derailing my train of thought. There was a light whoosh as Misty landed on my bed. I felt her head work its way under my arm and i pulled her closer, petting her softly.
She purred quietly, comforting me in her own kind of way. I let my eyes close as her body quivered with sound. I found myself humming. Humming a song that was slightly familiar. It only occurred to me in my dream that night, that the song i was humming, was the song playing in Harry's car as we drove to the diner. My dreams swirled with colors that represented the strumming of the guitar. Soft and sweet. Soft and sweet.
Weeks passed, and I was never home. Me, Niall, Liam, and occasionally Josh, were always finding things to do to get out of the house. It was like summer break all over again. And finally it came down to a week before our first term started and we were franticly trying to get everything ready.
Harry had called me three times since our diner date (not sure how he got my number) but i had ignored all of them, and somehow managed to avoid him. I was now sitting on the couch flicking through the channels on my tv with lidded eyes.
The doorbell rung and i rose after some time of hesitation. My mind was already thinking through how to nicely tell Niall to go to the store and buy his own food instead of coming over here every time he needed a snack. I swung the door open. My mouth opened and then closed wen I saw who was standing there.
Zayn's hands were stuffed into the pockets of his leather jacket. His dark brown eyes glanced up from the floor which he had been previously staring at. An easy smile parted his lips as he spoke up.
"Hey, Lou! How've you been?"
I got over my initial surprise of him being here and inclined my head slightly.
"I've been fine Zayn. And you?"
"Oh, just great. Do you mind if I come in for a minute?"
I couldn't help but be a little suspicious. Let's face it Zayn was a bit of a sketchy character. You can tell that he is well-trained at hiding secrets. His eyes are almost too bright at times, his voice almost too loose. I would not have noticed if i had not been the curious, observant person that i am.
I said stepping aside a little to allow him access into my house. He stepped in quickly and I shut the door behind us. My throat was feeling a little tight but I was also very interested in what Zayn had to say.
"You can take your coat off, Zayn. It's quite warm in here."
I told him, reaching a hand out to take his coat.
"Oh, yes. Thank you." He said, shrugging it off his narrow shoulders and handing it to me. I hung it up on an empty hook that hung on the back of the door.
Zayn took a seat on the couch and crossed his legs in a comfortable way. I sat down too and waited for Zayn to speak.
"So. What have you been up too? The first term's getting closer so i assume you're preparing for that." He said.
This took me a little by surprise. I was sure Zayn was here to talk to me about Harry.
"Yeah, I've been getting all my books ready. Walked over to the school and had a conversation with one of my teachers. I believe I'm ready for this year to start."
Zayn nodded slowly, stretching his arms over the back of the couch.
"So what classes are you taking?"
"You know, the usual: drama, vocal, music. This is a music school after all."
"Yes. That it is." Zayn answered but i could tell his mind wasn't fully focused on our conversation. Sometimes his mouth would twitch slightly downward and his eyebrows would crease as if in deep thought.
"Do you want anything to drink Zayn? I have beer, Pepsi, lemonade. Whatever you-"
"N-no I'm fine. I was just about to leave." He stood up quickly and grabbed his jacket. "I was just coming over to see if you were... If you were doing alright."
"Okay. See yah around Zayn." I called even though Zayn was already out the door.
I watched the closed door as a weird feeling settled over me. Something seemed a little off. I shrugged it off as another one of my crazy assumptions. I mean I should at least give the guy a chance.
Just as I was letting that thought settle in my phone started ringing. I took one look at it before chucking it on the couch it was Harry again. I waited until the call ended to pick up my phone. It beeped again as I got a new text message from an unknown but still familiar number.
There's no use rejecting my calls. I know your home, Louis. I'll be there in a minute. Pack your overnight bag for me. ;)
I groaned and flung myself on the couch. Misty licked my hand with her rough tongue.
"If im not here in the morning, Niall will be here to feed you." I told the cat fondly, scratching her under the chin, her favorite spot.
I walked into the bathroom to wash my face, because there was no way of avoiding Harry this time. The doorbell rang out all too soon, destroying the peace in my humble house. I opened the door and there he stood, smiling down at me confidently.
"I don't see an overnight bag with you." He said cheekily.
"Why would I need that?" I retorted.
"Because you're staying at mine." He brushed past me and into me house. "Cmon I'll help you pack. But if you don't want to bring anything you can always borrow my clothes."
He said turning around to wink at me. He then faced away from me and started down the hallway to my room. I was silently gagging as i followed him.
"And what makes you think that I'm going with you, Harry?"
He ignored me, walking into my room and heading straight for the closet.
"You could at least answer me, Styles!" I told him, my voice rising unevenly.
Harry turned around with a flash, his concealed green eyes landing on me smoothly. His lips were drawn up in a contained smile.
"You are coming with me because you have yet to properly apologize to me for waisting my time and money on your dinner a few weeks back. And you have yet to answer a single phone call of mine even though I know you are not that busy."
I glared at him with eyes as narrow as his mind.
"I didn't waste your time or money on that dinner, Styles. You forced me into it. So if you aren't satisfied you only have yourself to blame." I crossed my arms defiantly and stared him straight in the eye. "Now if we are done here, I can kindly show you the door."
"Oh come on, Tomlinson. Where is the fun in that?" Harry chuckled before turning back to my closet.
I groaned and plopped down on my bed as Harry began to pack me a bag. It took him longer than it should have because he had never been in my room before. After a couple minutes he beckoned me to him and I unwillingly got up. He handed me my bag and i slung it carelessly over my shoulder.
I hear Harry laugh and I raise and eyebrow at him questionably.
"What's so funny, Styles?"
"Its just not really hard to tell that your gay." He stated calmly.
My jaw dropped dramatically, because that kinda hurt.
"Is too. I'm very good at hiding my feelings."
Harry's eyes were bright as he watched me. "Louis your walking like you're a model on a runway. And you slung that bag over your shoulder like it's your diamond studded purse."
"So. That doesn't prove anything."
"And you're short and slightly feminine."
"Hey that's genetics. Just because I'm small and short doesn't mean I'm gay."
"But you are gay."
"But that has nothing to do with my height and body."
"Tell me, how shocked were your parents when you told them you were gay?"
I watched how his smile widened and dimples deepened his cheeks. He knew he had won.
"Shut up." I mumbled, my own cheeks flushing to a dark shade of red.
"That's what I thought." Harry said as we walked out of the house and into his car.
The engine purred as it came to life and Harry backed it out of the parking space and into the road. Harry's driving was a lot more smoother than Liam's. While Liam was jerky and a bit timid, Harry was gentle and well controlled. It was kind of soothing in a way. Not being jolted forward every time the car came to a sudden stop at a traffic light or stop sign. I could actually relax.
It took me a minute to process that i had never been in Harry's house. In fact I had never been completely alone with Harry at all. Now I would be staying in a house with him for an entire night. I tensed slightly. But for some reason i wasn't as opposed to the idea that i would've been a couple weeks ago. It couldn't be that bad could it. He couldn't be that bad. I used to be just like him.
• • •
"Ooh! Ooh! Harry can we watch Insidious!?" I asked loudly, jumping up and down as Harry scrolled through Netflix with his remote. He shook his head.
"I-I'm not really up for a scary movie tonight." He said as he quickly moved past the movie.
"Aww, Harry I think you're just scared."
Harry set his jaw and clicked on the Insidious movie. "Fine, fine. We can watch it."
"Yeah! I'll go make popcorn."
I ran into the kitchen which I had memorized since the moment i set foot in Harry's house. I opened various cabinets until i found the one containing the microwaveable popcorn. I shoved it in the microwave and pressed the popcorn button. By the time i had buttered it and brought it into the living room, Harry was curled up on the couch, hugging a pillow as tightly as he could to his chest. I almost dropped the bowl of popcorn as i bent over laughing. Harry looked at me pleadingly.
"If I admit I'm scared can we change the movie?"
I wanted to answer but i was much too greatly enjoying this side of Harry. Knowing that moments like these would be very rare. And I mean As rare as a herd if albino gorillas breaking into your home as eating all your tv remotes rare. So you can say that I really wanted to savor this moment. But it was obvious Harry didn't share my opinion because ten minutes later i was watching some shitty action movie, and I had run out of popcorn to throw at Harry to beg him to change it.
I was about to fall asleep when Harry suddenly shut off the movie.
"You wanna play a game, Lou?"
"Depends on what game it is?"
Harry grinned casually. "Oh it's just 20 questions. I feel like we could learn a bit about each other."
"Okay. I'll play." I agreed. And Harry's smile instantly widened.
"Great but we have to play by my rules."
I shut my eyes so he wouldn't see me rolling them at him. Of course we would be playing by his rules. Sigh.
"What are your rules, Styles."
"I ask you a question and if you answer incorrectly, I get to kiss you wherever I want to." Harry replied leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees.
Before i could respond Harry had launched into his first question. "How old are you?"
"20" I answered.
"Good answer." He said, without a moment's hesitation he continued. "Where were you born?"
I wasn't exactly sure why he asked me this but I told him anyway, "Doncaster."
"Okay." Harry scooted closer to me so that are knees were now touching. "Where do you want me to kiss you."
My muscles tensed and i held up a hand "You're not going to kiss me anywhere." I snapped.
"I'm sorry. But that is not a valid answer." Harry stated and he crawled towards me until I was pinned up against the couch with Harry leaning on the arm rest for support as he hovered over me. His lips moved slowly, almost torturing me as they inched their way towards mine. I raised my head so that they connected. Harry smirked against my lips as he realized what I had just done. My face filled with heat and i pulled away from him immediately.
"I think we're done with that game for the night." I said as Harry climbed off of me.
"Cmon, Louis. It's bedtime." Harry said grabbing my wrist and pulling me from the couch. He towed me up the steps to where his room was he let go of my wrist as he shut the door and flipped the lights off. I saw his shadowy figure remove his shirt and pants as he slipped into the bed. He opened the covers up for me and I crawled in, wrapping myself in his fluffy bed sheets. I felt an arm snake around my waist and i was forcefully pulled back until my back collided with Harry's warm body. I was glad i still had my shirt on. His head rested against the back of my neck and i just let him stay there as i was pretty tired myself.
• • •
"STOP!" I screamed as he undid his belt. I pushed my back even farther into the bed, wishing i could just disappear. I felt so weak, so useless.
He stepped towards me. His eyes glowing red. His pants slid down to his ankles before he removed them completely.
"This is for your own good, Louis." He stepped closer to my naked body. His eyes raked over me hungrily as he flung his shirt to the floor. He gripped me hard by the shoulders and flipped me over so my face was being pressed into the mattress.
I screamed as he entered me. Tears flowed freely from my face.
"STOP!" I screamed again.
"YOU CAN'T STOP ME LOUIS I'M IN CONTROL!" He yelled his voice shaking with so much emotion. "This is how I felt Louis! Dirty! Weak! Powerless! IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT LOUIS!!"
My cries went unheard as he continued to rage and pound me. My heart thundering in my ears.
"YOUR NOT AS TOUGH AS YOU THINK YOU ARE LOUIS! None of this would have to happen if you had just stopped pretending to be someone that your not!"
My throat was too choked to speak though i tried to. Uttering in-cohesive syllables that couldn't be strung together to form words.
"Shhh, Louis. I'm only teaching you a good lesson. It will all be over soon."
(A/n) hey guysss! NEW CHAPTER! :D Hope you like it. I will try to update more often but it might not be that easy because i am involved in two sports at the moment. Love you all ~Nic