1) I consider myself a crayon, I might not be your favourite colour but one day you'll need me to complete your picture.
2) The broccoli says 'I look like a small tree', the mushroom says 'I look like an umbrella', the walnut says 'I look like a brain', and the banana says 'Can we please change the subject?'
3) You know you are getting old when the candles on your birthday cake start to cost more than the cake itself.
4) Remember: Don't Insult the Alligator till after you cross the river.
5) Today I saw something through a store window that was truly stunning, beautiful and sexy. I wanted to get it for you, but then I realized it's my own reflection!
I just want to say that Bathroom Singer is just the funniest person ever! - Jamaican Jellybeans <3