I decided that I should try and make some friends at school, and then get them to help me. They could get the police involved maybe.
Oh whatever I guess I will just have to wait.
I couldn't sleep, so I stayed up most of the night thinking of mum. Oh how much mum loved me. She loved me with everything she had, and more. I still have the locket that her mother gave to her.
I can't let Dave see it though. He would be so fucking angry, and rape me no matter where we were. I just thought of a memory, that can only stay a memory. That I can only tell you, my carrots.
We were at the beach and my sister and I were trying to throw each other into the water.
"STOP IT CHI!" Caylee knows that I hate my nick name.
"NEVER CAY!" ha, take that Caylee
Just then my dad came and picked Caylee up and threw her into the water. But then, I was next.
"NOOOOOOO DADDY NOOOOOOOOO!" I screamed.
"I'll save you! Super Mum, to the rescue!" yay mum's gonna save me!
"Oh no yah don't!" dad then picked me up and ran across the beach with me in his arms. Then mum chased him until she finally caught up to him and tackled him into the water.
"YAY MUM, YOU DID IT!" I cheered out of pure joy.
*END OF FLASHBACK OH NO!
A tear slipped from my eye as I remembered how quickly that joy ended when mum died. But I just had to wait to see her again when my time came.
It seems that I am just waiting. For peace, my mum, punishments (which are gonna be soon most likely), friends,acceptance. I am just waiting. But nothing that I want is coming to me.
Will it ever? Does mum even care for me anymore? Mum is the only reason that I stay alive. She is the only one who understands me, well besides you my carrots. I love and live for you just the same. But still, I long for someone who won't leave me. Who will love me. Who will just be there for me and understand.
But that is too much to ask for. When am I ever gonna get that.
I guess I will just have to wait.
Ok sooooooooooooooo. I might not update for a while because I am kinda sorta maybe losing some websites on the computer, but I might still type it on my tablet. I AM NOT GIVING UP!!!!! YOU WILL HAVE TO WAIT JUST LIKE CHILA FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER!!!!!!!!!! Just try and ignore the spelling errors, I am terribly sorry!!!!!
I LOVE YOU MY CARROTS!
YOU MAKE ME STRONG.
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