August 10, 2012
Me: She hasn't left the bed since we finished the video.
Scooter: Did you ask her why?
Me: Yeah, but she won't answer me. And she's acting really bipolar. After we have an argument, she starts crying and begs me to forgive her. Sometimes, she sits on the couch with a tub of ice cream and watches romance movies as if she's been through a break up.
Scooter: Is she on her period?
Me: I don't know! I don't ask her about that!
Scooter: Is she pregnant?
Me: She didn't tell me she was.
Scooter: When you two...y'know...did you use protection?
Me: I...don't think so.
Scooter: I'm not jumping to conclusions, but it's possible she could be.
I signed, running my fingers through my hair.
Me: Should I ask her?
Scooter: Let her tell you when she's ready. Give her time, Justin. Let her get through her stage right now and then she'll tell you.
Scooter: Spend more time with her, too.
I hung up, shoving my phone into my pocket. I took a deep breath before trudging up the stairs.
I played with the ends of my hair, sighing deeply. I can't tell him. Not yet, anyways. I'm slowly gaining my tryst in him again. It's taking me a while, considering I'm in a certain sate right now. I heard the door open, causing me to turn my head. I saw Justin walk into the room, closing the door behind him.
I flipped back over on my stomach, resting my head on the pillow. I felt the bed lower beneath me, knowing he sat down next to me. He laid down next to me. He laid down beside me, taking my hand in his.
Justin: How are you?
Me: I'm not sure.
He kissed my forehead.
Justin: You can't stay in bed all day.
Me: Well, what am I supposed to do? All my friends either have a job or went to college.
He pulled out his phone, unlocking it.
Justin: Do you want to watched the video?
I nodded. He kissed my cheek and went on YouTube. He typed in 'As Long As You Love Me' and brought up the video.
The video ended, making Justin smile. He shoved his phone into my pocket and sat up on the bed.
Justin: That reminds me of our relationship. Well, except for me getting beat up.
I sat up, testing my head on his shoulder.
Me: Can we go see Avalanna then go to the beach?
Justin: Sure. Whatever you want to do, baby.
I got up from the bed, walking towards the dresser. I grabbed some shorts and a tank top. I walked towards the bathroom, closing the door behind me.
I sat down on the bed beside her, taking her small hand in mine. She gave a weak smile.
Me: Hi, Avalanna.
I smiled, watching Dawn and Avalanna talk to each other. They're both very special to me. If I lost any of them, I don't know what I'd do. If I lost Avalanna, I would never speak again. If I lost Dawn...I would commit suicide just to be with her. Yeah, that's how bad things would be. I saw them hug, knowing they had finished mine, making her pull away from Dawn.
She coughed, lying back down. Dawn got up from the bed, walking towards me.
Dawn: I'll let you have your time alone.
I kissed her forehead as she walked out of the room. I sat down next to Avalanna, kissing her cheek.
Me: How are you?
She sat on my lap and hugged me, making me smile.
I looked down at his hands, lacing our fingers together on my stomach. I caressed the back of his hand with my thumb.
I looked up at him, his eyes on the ocean.
Me: You okay?
Justin: Yeah, I'm fine.
I gave him a stern look. He sighed, looking down at me.
Justin: They say she won't make it much longer.
Me: She's gonna be fine, Justin. We just have to pray and believe she's going to live. We can't doubt it, otherwise things will get worse.
Justin: I know, but-
Me: No buts, Justin. She's going to live. She's a very strong girl. You can't keep doubting she won't make it. She's a fighter.
Justin: I just can't lose both of you.
I furrowed my eyebrows, sitting up in his lap.
Me: What do you mean?
Justin: You two mean everything to me. If she died, I'd never speak again. If you died...
He sighed, closing his eyes.
Me: If you died, I would commit suicide just to be with you.
My eyes went wide.
Me: Don't do that! Ever!
He opened his eyes, looking at me.
Me: I'd want you to live your life, not end it because of me.
I cupped his cheeks in my hands.
Me: I wouldn't want you to do that if that ever happened.
A tear fell from his eye.
Justin: I know, but you're a part of me. Losing you would drive me crazy.
I rested my head on his chest, playing wit the hem of his shirt.
Justin: Come on. We should get some sleep.
I nodded, getting off his lap.